Holy Shit, Jersey Shore!

So apparently I have MTV now. What? I don't know. My parents bit the bullet and signed us up for Foxtel like 6 years ago, but never have I ever experienced the wonder that is MTV. I guess our Foxtel package just didn't include it. Shocking, I know. The worst part was that even though we didn't have access to MTV, it still showed up on the on-screen TV Guide; so I knew when there was going to be a 16 and Pregnant marathon followed by four episodes of Room Raiders, but I still couldn't enjoy it. And if there is a worse form of torture than THAT, it's not one I know about. Now, though, that's all in the past..and today I sat down and wasted the first half of my Monday morning with this:

Holy shit, Jersey Shore. I almost feel like that's what they should change the name to. Holy Shit, Jersey Shore. Because every time one of these total Freak Of The Weeks opens their mouth to say anything, THAT'S what I'm thinking. How can REAL 20-something-year-old people be so stupid? So superficial? So...mind-numbingly ridiculous??!!
I have never felt love like this in my life.
I want to build some sort of size-alteration machine, shrink these people down to ant-size, and carry them around in my purse. Especially Pauly D. I know everyone loves Snooki, but Pauly D is my favourite. How can he not be? Having a name like 'Pauly D' is a pretty big victory in itself, and then you consider his hairdo:Who needs bench space when you can carry something like that around in your handbag? I'd never have to ask for a coaster again!

Anyway.
That's about all I've got for today. I do have another exciting piece of info up my sleeve, but in the interest of not jinxing myself and ruining the whole thing, I'm not gonna say too much. Just this: