So, just because I have nothing else to blog about right now (the EPIC post detailing every second of Parklife will come later, when I've had more sleep and less Jagermeister), here are are a few phrases that I personally feel should never be said by any human raised or living in a 'regular' environment. All have come out of my mouth at some point during the last 24 hours.
"Can somebody wipe the cat hair off the stove? I'm trying to cook dinner."
"I want Flight Facilities to play at my wedding reception. Couples will be boning on the dance floor and I won't even care."
"If it's any less disgusting, I WASHED his undies before I wore them as pajama pants."
"Do you want Captain Morgan's in yours, or are we having a sober lunch?"
"If it's between The Ugly Truth and The Bounty Hunter, I choose The Ugly Truth. I had a threesome dream involving Jennifer Aniston the other night, so watching her on TV makes me feel VERY uncomfortable at the moment."