Friday, April 06, 2012

Barney The Gay Dinosaur

Children's programming has become way more disturbing in the last 10 years.  I noticed this the other day when I was standing in line at the bank.  I know.  Between the bank, the gym, and the two plasma screens we have at work, I probably spend more time watching TV in public places than I do in my own home.  But you know at the bank how they sometimes have a TV on the wall to distract people from the fact that they're, well, waiting in line?  Well it was about 3 o'clock in the afternoon, and they had it set to ABC - so there we were, standing together, watching some kids show - an old guy, the girl from the fish and chip shop, and me.  This pretty much sums up what I saw:

WHOA!  What kind of pot-smoking 6-year-olds are enjoying this stuff?  And can I get the number of their dealer??  When I was growing up, the most progressive thing on kids TV was the gay Teletubby - and we didn't even know he was gay!
In other news, last Saturday night we all went out for my works 2nd Year Anniversary party.  Holy shit, my work has officially been open for two years.  But holy shit more than that, I've officially been working there for two years.  We went to a Brazilian BBQ restaurant on William Street.  I chose to celebrate by getting drunk and falling down our concrete driveway on the way home:
Boyfriend and I were talking about alcohol the other day, and how it can enhance certain human activities.  Boyfriend is convinced he is a better athlete when drunk.  I don't know about this, but one thing I know for sure is that vodka enhances my abilities.  I am convinced I am a better writer when I have been drinking.  And when I say 'writer', what I really mean is 'person'.  Is this the part where my mother stages an intervention?  Please.  If I ever end up in rehab, I'm sure I'll be seeing most of you there.

Whenever I see or hear the word 'rehab', I can only think of two things:
1) The Amy Winehouse song
2) That episode of The OC where they send Kirsten to that super-fancy rehabilitation centre and tell everyone else she's on 'vacation'.
Amy Winehouse being dead is still too sad for me to talk about, so lets go with The OC thing.
One of the best parts about moving in with my best friend is that we both have the same size feet.  Hello, two shoe collections.  The other best part was that Alex brought the first 3 seasons of The OC on DVD with her.  This was around mid-2011 and I hadn't watched an episode of OC for a good 3 I went to TOWN on those bad boys.  I remember one day off work where I just shut all the blinds and sat in our living room watching it all day.  The only time I left the apartment was to walk up the road for a bottle of Gatorade.  By the time Alex got home, not only was I convinced that the people in this show were real - I thought I was one of them.  What?  You don't remember Jacki, the fifth member of the Harbour group?
When my friend Madi and I were about 16, we went through this weird phase of obsessing over similarities between people we knew and the characters from our favourite movies or TV shows.  Don't ask.  I think the whole thing got started when we noticed how much this kid we went to primary school with looked like Danny Zuko from Grease.  Anyway.  I don't remember who I got, but I remember my other friend Julia was always assigned to whichever female lead from The OC was currently sporting the do I say this without offending her husband?
Of course Madi and I have matured into responsible adults since then.
But some things never change.

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