top ten

Top Ten things we've learnt from watching Home and Away

10. It is always summer in Australia

9. If there is a party on the beach, everyone will be drunk within 8 minutes of arrival

8. If you live in Summer Bay and happen to stumble upon some legal troubles, there is no need to worry, because the sister of the surf club president is always coincidentally in town whenever somebody goes to court, and she is a judge

7. It is perfectly normal for devastating cyclones to target (and destroy only) specific beach towns

6. If somebody new arrives in town, it is most likely that they are either related to you, or a convicted murderer

5. Paralysis can be easily overcome, as long as your nurse is an attractive single mother who desperately needs protection from her violent ex-husband

4. One night stands always result in pregnancy

3. If you have a twin sister who doesn't really look like you, its probably because she and your actual twin were accidentally switched at birth

2. Don’t get married. You will either divorce, be shot and killed by a crazy drug addict, or fail to turn up to the wedding at all

and the number one thing we've learned from watching home and away???

1. There’s no need to fear death. In all likeliness, you’ll just come back to life in a few weeks anyway

oh yeah and i forgot to say...

i finished that hsc
yay me!

so that's where i get it from

so catherine and i just got back from lane cove, and i came upstairs to find my mother (about whose crazy antics im sure you've all heard by now) wrapped in a blanket, sitting on the couch watching some ancient movie which wouldn't have held my attention for more than one second apart from the fact that its about prison, and anybody who's anybody knows that anything about prison will catch my eye on account of the fact that prison break (starring wentworth miller, more commonly known as my future husband) is my all time favourite show. of all time. ever.

anyway. after a few more seconds i realise this movie isnt just about prison.
its about breaking out of prison.
a prison BREAK, if you may.

huh? huh?
this needed investigation:

jacki: (innocently) oh, so whats this you're watching?
mum: The Great Escape
jacki: it looks old
mum: it is old
jacki: whats it about?
mum: its about a group of americans who escape from a german prisoner of war camp during the second world war...wait maybe a mixture of british and americans. anyway. its, like, the best movie ever. AND its got steve mcqueen in it!
jacki: who?
mum: steve mcqueen
jacki: who's that?
mum: (sounding outraged that i dont know) a famous actor!
jacki: is he good looking?
mum: please. he's like the Wentworth Miller of the 1970's

ok.
ok.
OH
MY
GOSH

MY MUM HAS A WENTWORTH MILLER?
more importantly...
MY MUM KNOWS WHO WENTWORTH MILLER IS???
on second thought, i suppose thats actually a given, considering how much i talk about him, especially (for some reason) at the dinner table.
but still...
is this where i got that burning passion that resides deep within my loins, telling me that wentworth and i were made for each other? from my MOTHER?!
who knew family discussion time could be so entertaining?
of course i had to correct my mum straight away
you know, because you cant just go around saying someone is the wentworth miller of the seventies or whatever.
you cant compare regular people to wentworth. he's just too amazing.

why why why is it that im so close to the end, yet it still feels a dillion years away???
probably because i spend more time looking at the clock and listening to crappy music from the 80's than i do studying.
WHATEVER
shouldnt my lack of knowledge and utter panic that ill get into the final exam and be able to think of nothing but the fact that Wentworth Miller's middle name is Earl (Earl. ahaha) make the hours go faster? or at least more bareable???
who am i kidding. nothing is bareable when im stuck in here attempting to memorise the methodology of Thucydides and catherine is sitting on the other side of the door watching Will Ferrell movies and eating chinese food for lunch.
...
i wonder how long it will take me to figure out exactly how many hours i have left until i finish the HSC. maybe by the time i work it out it will be time to go to bed, and ill be that much closer to the finish line.
ok here goes..
...
...
damn i finished already! and it only took...DAMMIT! one minute and 14 seconds! are you kidding me??!!
if only it werent for the technology of calculators and such, id probably be struggling with remainders and carrying the one or whatever for at least an hour. but oh no. some genius had to go invent a calculator. thanks alot.