although having just finished the seventh book, i felt it was now safe to explore the world of so called 'harry-hackers', and find the infamous internet spoiler for myself.
and so i did.
and then i read it.
and then i laughed.
for all of those who HAVENT finished the book yet, i can say only this: there is no need to worry.
of all the things i have read so far, only one thing is true, and its so insignificant that you probably all knew it anyway. the rest is complete crap.
and now onto my rant about people who attempt to spoil harry potter.
why.
why why would you? i cant even fathom the idea. and i can fathom heaps of things. oh yeah. i fathom. i fathom good.
i can even fathom the idea of not liking harry potter. oh, i pity you greatly should you find the need to diss harry and his wonderous band of followers, but i can at least fathom the idea.
but people who spoil it? i mean, you obviously like it, otherwise you wouldnt go to so much effort as to illegal obtain a copy, read the whole thing in less than 24 hours, and then post the ending on the internet for millions of unsuspecting victims to fall upon. you wouldnt go to so much effort if you didnt even like harry would you?
WOULD YOU?
and if you like harry potter, obviously you know the joy and wonder that it brings others who love harry potter. so why would you want to ruin that? why? why why? its just cruel. its just sad. its just mean.
its just rude.
if harry potter were real (and i havent completely ruled out that possibility yet), i would suggest to my good friend j.k rowling to write the next book (should there be a next book) in a special kind of ink, with special kinds of qualities, so that if someone reads it and attempts to spoil it for someone else, their eyes go so cross-eyed that they cant read and their mouth pushes up into their nose so they have to breathe out of their ears and they cant talk about harry potter ever again.
yes.
yes i think that would be sufficient.
so to the spoilers.
um. can you not?
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
my love?
sigh.
i weep.
for at this very moment i should be watching prison break.
why arent i, i hear my fellow prison break fans asking??
well i guess you arent really prison break fans. because if you were, you would know perfectly well that since prison break finished last week and wont be coming back until AT LEAST SEPTEMBER, i have NOTHING to watch.
nothing.
no wentworth.
well thats not true. i do have season 2 on dvd. but alas, for i am continually mocked for having watched every episode at least three times (the season final is actually standing on eighteen times at the moment), so im trying to retain whats left of my dignity by restraining myself from..
screw you guys, im going to watch it.
i weep.
for at this very moment i should be watching prison break.
why arent i, i hear my fellow prison break fans asking??
well i guess you arent really prison break fans. because if you were, you would know perfectly well that since prison break finished last week and wont be coming back until AT LEAST SEPTEMBER, i have NOTHING to watch.
nothing.
no wentworth.
well thats not true. i do have season 2 on dvd. but alas, for i am continually mocked for having watched every episode at least three times (the season final is actually standing on eighteen times at the moment), so im trying to retain whats left of my dignity by restraining myself from..
screw you guys, im going to watch it.
back to school
a little delayed im afraid, but a fairly average back-to-school so far, though not so interesting. probably the highpoints were the announcement of a year 12/teacher 'it takes two' (as opposed to dancing with the staff), the mad rush to finish dt/art major works (strangely entertaining seeings as i no longer care), and the addition of rather flamboyant pair of fluorescent pink boots to miss shanahans wardrobe.
the only negative thing is that im still running on my holiday sleeping/eating pattern, which basically consisted of eating whenever i wanted, and sleeping whenever i wanted (usually between 4 in the morning and 230 in the afternoon)
so there i was at 1am on tuesday morning, 5 hours before i would have to get up and go to school, standing in the freezing kitchen cooking myself dinner, trying to ignore the constant calls of 'jacki shut UP!' coming from my parents bedroom.
sigh.
i am so unappreciated.
on a more positive note, in a mere 10 hours, i will be free from the hideousness that is my major work!!
the only negative thing is that im still running on my holiday sleeping/eating pattern, which basically consisted of eating whenever i wanted, and sleeping whenever i wanted (usually between 4 in the morning and 230 in the afternoon)
so there i was at 1am on tuesday morning, 5 hours before i would have to get up and go to school, standing in the freezing kitchen cooking myself dinner, trying to ignore the constant calls of 'jacki shut UP!' coming from my parents bedroom.
sigh.
i am so unappreciated.
on a more positive note, in a mere 10 hours, i will be free from the hideousness that is my major work!!
Monday, July 16, 2007
the OC
so i was just blogging about julia. it was fun.
anyway then i decided to look at julias old blog, which was also fun, because there were lots of blogs about all the crazy crap we used to get up to when we were crazy youngens, anyway most of the posts were actually about the oc, so then i decided to blog about the oc because i am lame and unoriginal and i cant think of what to blog about for myself, and isnt there something called postmodernism which means you cant write anything that hasnt already been written about, so theres no point in trying to be original anyway?
so yes.
so while you might think im actually plagerising (or however you spell that hideous word) Julia's ideas, im actually just educating you all on postmodernism, so mr watson, you should buck up and give me an extension history medal or something.
anyway. oc.
so yeah, basically since arena is the most awesome channel ever, they play the oc, and they just started playing season 3 (after repeating the first 2 seasons, oh, i dono, one DILLION times), and since i LOVE season 3, i was all, 'woo yeah, season 3, im so there', and got all excited about being able to watch the oc again, but then arena decided that theyre not going to put the oc on til 11.15pm.
sigh.
so now i have to sit around and procrastinate for like a whole FORTY MINUTES waiting for the oc to come on.
yep.
in other news, did you know theres a prison break magazine? and i am not even kidding. who knew there were people out there as freakishly addicted to prison break as i am? not i. not i.
anyway then i decided to look at julias old blog, which was also fun, because there were lots of blogs about all the crazy crap we used to get up to when we were crazy youngens, anyway most of the posts were actually about the oc, so then i decided to blog about the oc because i am lame and unoriginal and i cant think of what to blog about for myself, and isnt there something called postmodernism which means you cant write anything that hasnt already been written about, so theres no point in trying to be original anyway?
so yes.
so while you might think im actually plagerising (or however you spell that hideous word) Julia's ideas, im actually just educating you all on postmodernism, so mr watson, you should buck up and give me an extension history medal or something.
anyway. oc.
so yeah, basically since arena is the most awesome channel ever, they play the oc, and they just started playing season 3 (after repeating the first 2 seasons, oh, i dono, one DILLION times), and since i LOVE season 3, i was all, 'woo yeah, season 3, im so there', and got all excited about being able to watch the oc again, but then arena decided that theyre not going to put the oc on til 11.15pm.
sigh.
so now i have to sit around and procrastinate for like a whole FORTY MINUTES waiting for the oc to come on.
yep.
in other news, did you know theres a prison break magazine? and i am not even kidding. who knew there were people out there as freakishly addicted to prison break as i am? not i. not i.
eric with the hornable horn
so basically julia is the luckiest person in the world on account of the fact that SHE GOT HER P'S and then right after that HER PARENTS BOUGHT HER A SEXY SEXIFIED SEX-MACHINE OF A CAR which is named eric.
after eric bana. who is also a sexy sexified sex-machine.
anyway.
and so by default, i am also the luckiest person in the world on account of the fact that i now have someone to chauferre me around sydney and not get angry at me when i ask for lifts, like all the other people i employ to drive me around (cough JESS cough CATHERINE)
yeah.
so basically we, the three of us, julia eric and myself (and also julias front passenger seat which i have named sabrina) are destined to have many misadventures, not that we havent already had some.
basically the main issue is that julia and i never have any idea where we are going (proved by that time we tried to drive to macquarie and ended up in epping, or that time we tried to drive home from macquarie and ended up in pymbal), and we are too obsessed with erics hornable horn, and also i am the most annoyingly distracting person in the universe and its a miracle that i havent caused a car crash to date.
but yes. what was the point of this blog? oh yes, julias car is excellent. not as excellent as julia, but there is definitely a satisfactory level of excellence.
after eric bana. who is also a sexy sexified sex-machine.
anyway.
and so by default, i am also the luckiest person in the world on account of the fact that i now have someone to chauferre me around sydney and not get angry at me when i ask for lifts, like all the other people i employ to drive me around (cough JESS cough CATHERINE)
yeah.
so basically we, the three of us, julia eric and myself (and also julias front passenger seat which i have named sabrina) are destined to have many misadventures, not that we havent already had some.
basically the main issue is that julia and i never have any idea where we are going (proved by that time we tried to drive to macquarie and ended up in epping, or that time we tried to drive home from macquarie and ended up in pymbal), and we are too obsessed with erics hornable horn, and also i am the most annoyingly distracting person in the universe and its a miracle that i havent caused a car crash to date.
but yes. what was the point of this blog? oh yes, julias car is excellent. not as excellent as julia, but there is definitely a satisfactory level of excellence.
an ode
ode to tim clark
tim clark is awesome
tim clark is cool
tim clark reads my blog
tim clark plays pool
tim clark is quite tall
tim clark has hair
tim clark is tim clark
tim clark is fair
if tim clark were batman
he'd save all our lives
if tim clark were here now
id give him high fives
tim clark is happening
tim clark aint bad
no one's like tim clark
hes just way too rad
so basically, i just had the crappiest shower of my life
and i know what you're thinking
you're thinking 'how can any shower on earth possibly be any worse than that time jacki had a shower and the hot and cold labels on the taps were switched, so she didnt know what was going on and ended up scalding her entire body?'
well you're right. this shower wasnt that bad.
but it was still pretty bad.
first of all, the shower radio ran out of batteries. which might not seem like such a big deal to you normal, regular, non-freak, stands-completely-still-the-entire-time-theyre-in-the-shower people, but listen.
im not normal. im not regular. im a freak, and i certainly dont stand still the entire time im in the shower.
oh no. no no. i like to get down. i like to boogie. i like to get my freaking groove on, since dancing in the shower is pretty much the only exercise i get.
but how am i supposed to get my freak on without my shower radio, my precious source of water-proof music?
so there i was, sulkingly dancing, music-less, in the shower, when i realised...
hey. the soap isnt in the soap dish.
where, oh where, could that pesky soap be?
as i was wondering this, i stepped on the soap, (which had, in case you were wondering, fallen onto the floor, and oh-so-conveniently slid under my foot), and fell backwards through the door, hitting my elbow on the towel rack and my head on the sink, before collapsing into a bedraggled heap on the floor.
anyway after i managed to untangle my limbs, i got back into the shower, finished washing as quickly as i could, and got out, only to find that someone left my very very expensive (at $8.45) dove body lotion which i love oh so very much OPEN so that it had DRIED UP and i couldnt put any on and begin smelling like a spring-fresh petal.
so basically i was deprived of my favourite part of shower time.
anyway, i had to put on some body shop oceanus body lotion, which im assuming is from the stone age, since i found it in the cupboard under the sink, and anyone who's anyone knows that catherine and i never look in the cupboard under the sink on account of the fact that we put things in the cupboard under the sink for a reason, and that reason is that they smell like a graveyard.
so now im cold, cranky, unfit (from my lack of dancing in the shower), and i also smell like a graveyard.
crappy, crappy shower
and i know what you're thinking
you're thinking 'how can any shower on earth possibly be any worse than that time jacki had a shower and the hot and cold labels on the taps were switched, so she didnt know what was going on and ended up scalding her entire body?'
well you're right. this shower wasnt that bad.
but it was still pretty bad.
first of all, the shower radio ran out of batteries. which might not seem like such a big deal to you normal, regular, non-freak, stands-completely-still-the-entire-time-theyre-in-the-shower people, but listen.
im not normal. im not regular. im a freak, and i certainly dont stand still the entire time im in the shower.
oh no. no no. i like to get down. i like to boogie. i like to get my freaking groove on, since dancing in the shower is pretty much the only exercise i get.
but how am i supposed to get my freak on without my shower radio, my precious source of water-proof music?
so there i was, sulkingly dancing, music-less, in the shower, when i realised...
hey. the soap isnt in the soap dish.
where, oh where, could that pesky soap be?
as i was wondering this, i stepped on the soap, (which had, in case you were wondering, fallen onto the floor, and oh-so-conveniently slid under my foot), and fell backwards through the door, hitting my elbow on the towel rack and my head on the sink, before collapsing into a bedraggled heap on the floor.
anyway after i managed to untangle my limbs, i got back into the shower, finished washing as quickly as i could, and got out, only to find that someone left my very very expensive (at $8.45) dove body lotion which i love oh so very much OPEN so that it had DRIED UP and i couldnt put any on and begin smelling like a spring-fresh petal.
so basically i was deprived of my favourite part of shower time.
anyway, i had to put on some body shop oceanus body lotion, which im assuming is from the stone age, since i found it in the cupboard under the sink, and anyone who's anyone knows that catherine and i never look in the cupboard under the sink on account of the fact that we put things in the cupboard under the sink for a reason, and that reason is that they smell like a graveyard.
so now im cold, cranky, unfit (from my lack of dancing in the shower), and i also smell like a graveyard.
crappy, crappy shower
Thursday, July 12, 2007
toilet thoughts#1
you know what i really hate?
starting the new role of toilet paper
seriously
its hell!
no matter what brand or colour, or how many plys, its like, the worst part of my day, always
always
ALWAYS
you know what i mean?
on a new toilet role, the edge of the paper is always glued down with that weird crusty stuff, and you have to pull it off to 'get the ball rolling' as they say?
well whenever i try to pull it off, i either pull off the wrong side, so that i only get ONE MEASLY SQUARE OF TOILET PAPER to use, or i pull too much off, so all the pieces of toilet paper have huge holes ripped in them and everyone gets all shirty with me
i mean really
its horrible!
why would the toilet paper people do this to me? they seemed so nice! they have such a cute puppy! its just not right!
well i say we all take a stand against starting the new role of toilet paper, so whenever there only a new role to use, you just have to grin and bare it my friends.
just grin and bare it.
starting the new role of toilet paper
seriously
its hell!
no matter what brand or colour, or how many plys, its like, the worst part of my day, always
always
ALWAYS
you know what i mean?
on a new toilet role, the edge of the paper is always glued down with that weird crusty stuff, and you have to pull it off to 'get the ball rolling' as they say?
well whenever i try to pull it off, i either pull off the wrong side, so that i only get ONE MEASLY SQUARE OF TOILET PAPER to use, or i pull too much off, so all the pieces of toilet paper have huge holes ripped in them and everyone gets all shirty with me
i mean really
its horrible!
why would the toilet paper people do this to me? they seemed so nice! they have such a cute puppy! its just not right!
well i say we all take a stand against starting the new role of toilet paper, so whenever there only a new role to use, you just have to grin and bare it my friends.
just grin and bare it.
catherine and i argue...again
another of those arguments you love oh-so-much:
the current situation: i, having arrived home late from the movies, have missed the first 10 minutes of prison break. luckily, i have it already on dvd, and so plan to have a shower for the next 50 minutes, then get out and watch it AFTER it finishes on tv, so i dont risk seeing anything on tv before i watch it on dvd. if that makes sense.
anyway.
jacki: (shielding eyes from the tv and running up the stairs) dont tell me! dont tell me! dont tell me!
catherine: what?
jacki: dont tell me whats happening, im going to watch the dvd after!
catherine: why dont you just watch it now?
jacki: ive missed the first 10 minutes, and everybody knows if you miss the first 10 minutes, you may as well miss the whole thing!
catherine: shhh!
jacki: what?
catherine: shhh!
jacki: pfft (walks off)
(i returned in the ad break)
jacki: ok now its an ad i can talk to you
catherine: jacki shut up!
jacki: why? its just an ad!
catherine: what do you want?
jacki: can you make sure you watch the bit at the very end that tells us when they're going to start showing season 3?
catherine: why cant you just watch it?
jacki: because im having a shower and then watching the dvd!
catherine: so you'll see it on the dvd!
jacki: no i wont, because the dvd is american tv!
catherine: well then!
jacki: so will you tell me!?
catherine: tell you what?
jacki: when its coming back!!
catherine: hmmm
jacki: but DONT tell me what happens in the episode. i mean it
catherine: (laughing evilly)
jacki: DONT! catherine! if you tell me, i will slap you so hard! i mean it, ill be so angry ill rip your face of
catherine: (continues to laugh)
jacki: catherine! i meant it! ill..ill..iil poo in your bed!
catherine: then ill poo in your bed!
jacki: i dont care, you'll have poo in your bed first!!
mum: can you guys shut up?
jacki: catherine dont tell me anything!
catherine: ok i wont
jacki: but tell me the thing at the end
catherine: no im not telling you anything
jacki: but, why not?
catherine: you said not to!
jacki: i meant to do with the episode
catherine: well that has to do with the episode!
jacki: no it doesnt!
catherine: yes it does!
jacki: no it doesnt!
catherine: yes it does!
jacki: fine! dont tell me!
catherine: fine i wont
jacki: because you're a bitch?
catherine: no
jacki: yes
catherine: no
jacki: yes
catherine: no
jacki: just so you know, this is totally going on my blog
catherine: mmhmm, sure, and you'll make me sound like an idiot as usual im guessing?
jacki: i dont make you sound like an idiot
catherine: yes you do!
jacki: well maybe thats because you are an idiot and you just dont realise it!
catherine: hmm sure
jacki: i know
catherine: whatever
jacki: no, not whatever
catherine: yes, whatever
jacki: no
catherine: yes
jacki: no
catherine: yes!
jacki: no!
catherine: you suck!
jacki: you suck more!
catherine: whatever
jacki: i love you
ha! what idiots
the current situation: i, having arrived home late from the movies, have missed the first 10 minutes of prison break. luckily, i have it already on dvd, and so plan to have a shower for the next 50 minutes, then get out and watch it AFTER it finishes on tv, so i dont risk seeing anything on tv before i watch it on dvd. if that makes sense.
anyway.
jacki: (shielding eyes from the tv and running up the stairs) dont tell me! dont tell me! dont tell me!
catherine: what?
jacki: dont tell me whats happening, im going to watch the dvd after!
catherine: why dont you just watch it now?
jacki: ive missed the first 10 minutes, and everybody knows if you miss the first 10 minutes, you may as well miss the whole thing!
catherine: shhh!
jacki: what?
catherine: shhh!
jacki: pfft (walks off)
(i returned in the ad break)
jacki: ok now its an ad i can talk to you
catherine: jacki shut up!
jacki: why? its just an ad!
catherine: what do you want?
jacki: can you make sure you watch the bit at the very end that tells us when they're going to start showing season 3?
catherine: why cant you just watch it?
jacki: because im having a shower and then watching the dvd!
catherine: so you'll see it on the dvd!
jacki: no i wont, because the dvd is american tv!
catherine: well then!
jacki: so will you tell me!?
catherine: tell you what?
jacki: when its coming back!!
catherine: hmmm
jacki: but DONT tell me what happens in the episode. i mean it
catherine: (laughing evilly)
jacki: DONT! catherine! if you tell me, i will slap you so hard! i mean it, ill be so angry ill rip your face of
catherine: (continues to laugh)
jacki: catherine! i meant it! ill..ill..iil poo in your bed!
catherine: then ill poo in your bed!
jacki: i dont care, you'll have poo in your bed first!!
mum: can you guys shut up?
jacki: catherine dont tell me anything!
catherine: ok i wont
jacki: but tell me the thing at the end
catherine: no im not telling you anything
jacki: but, why not?
catherine: you said not to!
jacki: i meant to do with the episode
catherine: well that has to do with the episode!
jacki: no it doesnt!
catherine: yes it does!
jacki: no it doesnt!
catherine: yes it does!
jacki: fine! dont tell me!
catherine: fine i wont
jacki: because you're a bitch?
catherine: no
jacki: yes
catherine: no
jacki: yes
catherine: no
jacki: just so you know, this is totally going on my blog
catherine: mmhmm, sure, and you'll make me sound like an idiot as usual im guessing?
jacki: i dont make you sound like an idiot
catherine: yes you do!
jacki: well maybe thats because you are an idiot and you just dont realise it!
catherine: hmm sure
jacki: i know
catherine: whatever
jacki: no, not whatever
catherine: yes, whatever
jacki: no
catherine: yes
jacki: no
catherine: yes!
jacki: no!
catherine: you suck!
jacki: you suck more!
catherine: whatever
jacki: i love you
ha! what idiots
a life lesson for all you boys and girls
so basically, its 2.38 on thursday morning, and im starting to regret that...lets ad it all up...4 and a half litres of coke that i just drank
hmmm
hmmm
hmmm
i guess they werent lying when they said that coke has caffiene in it
although come to think about it cant think why they would lie
maybe im thinking that they werent lying when they said that it kept you awake at night?
because i never really believed that until now
you know
the whole dont-drink-coke-or-coffee-because-you-will-be-awake-for-all-eternity thing
i thought that was a myth, like bigfoot, or non-incestual home and away plotlines.
well i guess not!!
so what did i do today. or rather, yesterday, seeings as it is now today, and 'today' is now yesterday. new day. old day. yesterday?
what the.
so what did i do? oh yes lets see. i slaved for several hours over a dt major work which i now hate, and which alistair will probably refuse to model for me, so, naturally, i will have to rip his face off.
actually i probably wont seeings as then i would have to exert effort, which (as you should all know by now) i really dont enjoy doing.
what else. julia got her ps. truly awesome. now i have more than one person to chauferre me. or however you spell that. anyway im really quite on my way to recruiting an army of people who can drive me around, and beginning to think that getting my l's was a bit of a waste. i mean why would i drive myself when other people could drive me? anyway even though i havent actually driven yet im pretty sure, based on that time i drove the bumper cars at Luna Park, that im going to be a sucky driver.
so really im doing the world a service by being too lazy to drive and forcing other people to drive me around.
i also saw harry potter. a very high point in the day, seeings as harry potter is pretty much the most awesome thing that has ever happened to our generation and all. yep. it was pretty cool. pretty pretty cool. and julia and i drove (well, julia drove, i was driven), and got lost twice and it was the pinacle of my existance.
anyway.
when i got home i had a long shower and watched americas next top model on plus 2.
and i cannot believe that baby Tyra got out. i mean seriously Tyra. i love you. i love you enough to watch the true hollywood story on you. i love you enough to myspace stalk you. but that was just wrong. just wrong. if i werent so lazy, id do something about it.
but im lazy
so hooray for Tyra!
anyway then i got ready for the moment, the one ive been waiting for, for, oh i dont know, practically my whole life, that is, the season finale of prison break.
which, by the way, was probably the most awesome thing that has ever happened to me.
the annoying thing is that when i talk about prison break, nobody knows what im talking about, because they dont watch it, so i cant explain how good it is.
and even the people who DO watch it dont understand what im talking about because i talk more about my upcoming wedding to wentworth miller than the actual plotlines.
where was i?
oh yeah. after prison break, the realisation that im not going to see another new prison break episode for at least 4 months set in, and i proceeded to drown my sorrows in 4.5 litres of diet coke and 3 more episodes of prison break on dvd.
so thats where my problems started i guess.
now im sitting here, blogging about how i cant get to sleep, listening to ministry of sound REALLY loudly (which probably isnt helping the not-being-able-to-get-to-sleep-thing, but there you go), and arranging then re-arranging my myspace layout one dillion times, yet still hating it.
sigh.
no more prison break
whats a girl to do (apart from stalk wentworth miller over the internet, watch season 2 over and over again, and enter as many prison break-related competitions as she can find)
so the life lesson i hear you all asking?
dont drink coke before bedtime
and if you do, make sure theres somebody around to check that you keep all your clothes on
hmmm
hmmm
hmmm
i guess they werent lying when they said that coke has caffiene in it
although come to think about it cant think why they would lie
maybe im thinking that they werent lying when they said that it kept you awake at night?
because i never really believed that until now
you know
the whole dont-drink-coke-or-coffee-because-you-will-be-awake-for-all-eternity thing
i thought that was a myth, like bigfoot, or non-incestual home and away plotlines.
well i guess not!!
so what did i do today. or rather, yesterday, seeings as it is now today, and 'today' is now yesterday. new day. old day. yesterday?
what the.
so what did i do? oh yes lets see. i slaved for several hours over a dt major work which i now hate, and which alistair will probably refuse to model for me, so, naturally, i will have to rip his face off.
actually i probably wont seeings as then i would have to exert effort, which (as you should all know by now) i really dont enjoy doing.
what else. julia got her ps. truly awesome. now i have more than one person to chauferre me. or however you spell that. anyway im really quite on my way to recruiting an army of people who can drive me around, and beginning to think that getting my l's was a bit of a waste. i mean why would i drive myself when other people could drive me? anyway even though i havent actually driven yet im pretty sure, based on that time i drove the bumper cars at Luna Park, that im going to be a sucky driver.
so really im doing the world a service by being too lazy to drive and forcing other people to drive me around.
i also saw harry potter. a very high point in the day, seeings as harry potter is pretty much the most awesome thing that has ever happened to our generation and all. yep. it was pretty cool. pretty pretty cool. and julia and i drove (well, julia drove, i was driven), and got lost twice and it was the pinacle of my existance.
anyway.
when i got home i had a long shower and watched americas next top model on plus 2.
and i cannot believe that baby Tyra got out. i mean seriously Tyra. i love you. i love you enough to watch the true hollywood story on you. i love you enough to myspace stalk you. but that was just wrong. just wrong. if i werent so lazy, id do something about it.
but im lazy
so hooray for Tyra!
anyway then i got ready for the moment, the one ive been waiting for, for, oh i dont know, practically my whole life, that is, the season finale of prison break.
which, by the way, was probably the most awesome thing that has ever happened to me.
the annoying thing is that when i talk about prison break, nobody knows what im talking about, because they dont watch it, so i cant explain how good it is.
and even the people who DO watch it dont understand what im talking about because i talk more about my upcoming wedding to wentworth miller than the actual plotlines.
where was i?
oh yeah. after prison break, the realisation that im not going to see another new prison break episode for at least 4 months set in, and i proceeded to drown my sorrows in 4.5 litres of diet coke and 3 more episodes of prison break on dvd.
so thats where my problems started i guess.
now im sitting here, blogging about how i cant get to sleep, listening to ministry of sound REALLY loudly (which probably isnt helping the not-being-able-to-get-to-sleep-thing, but there you go), and arranging then re-arranging my myspace layout one dillion times, yet still hating it.
sigh.
no more prison break
whats a girl to do (apart from stalk wentworth miller over the internet, watch season 2 over and over again, and enter as many prison break-related competitions as she can find)
so the life lesson i hear you all asking?
dont drink coke before bedtime
and if you do, make sure theres somebody around to check that you keep all your clothes on
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
00 what the hell
so for all of today i was having these absolutely massive cravings for a james bond movie, which is pretty interesting seeings as i really have no interest in james bond, and havent ever even seen a full james bond movie in all my 17 years, but dont ask me to fathom the inner workings of my twisted mind.
anyway.
so when i got home i convinced catherine to go out and get diet coke and mnms and at 9pm sharp we sat down to Casino Royale.
(and can i just say despite the fact that the guys ears are totally disproportional to his head, he makes up for it with a nice set of eyes)
so now i can officially say ive experienced it.
a james bond movie that is.
,...so what to say about it.
well i think the conversation that ensued the movie can say more than a blog can:
jacki: (pause) Well. That was...
catherine: It was..
jacki: Do you have any idea what happened?
catherine: No. no i dont.
jacki: I mean. (pause). Who were those people?
catherine: Were they good or bad?
jacki: I thought the girl in the red dress was a goodie
catherine: No, no she was definitely bad
jacki: But he loved her!
catherine: She stole the money
jacki: To save his life!
catherine: Save whose life?
jacki: I dont know!!
catherine: It was just so..
jacki: I mean...
catherine: Like...
jacki: Who were those people? Who died? Who lived?
catherine: Who was the guy at the end?
jacki: I dont know, james bond?
catherine: No, because he got shot
jacki: He got shot??
catherine: I think so
jacki: What just happened?
catherine: I think we wasted two and half hours of our lives
jacki: That was a James Bond movie, right?
catherine: Right
jacki: I just..I just..
catherine: Maybe you're supposed to watch it more than once?
jacki: Maybe you're supposed to watch all the other james bond movies first?
catherine: How many other ones are there?
jacki: I dont know. I think 12 million
catherine: Hmm. I think from now on we should stick to Gilmore Girls
jacki: deal
so if anyone can explain the concept of james bond the trew girls would be very much appreciative
anyway.
so when i got home i convinced catherine to go out and get diet coke and mnms and at 9pm sharp we sat down to Casino Royale.
(and can i just say despite the fact that the guys ears are totally disproportional to his head, he makes up for it with a nice set of eyes)
so now i can officially say ive experienced it.
a james bond movie that is.
,...so what to say about it.
well i think the conversation that ensued the movie can say more than a blog can:
jacki: (pause) Well. That was...
catherine: It was..
jacki: Do you have any idea what happened?
catherine: No. no i dont.
jacki: I mean. (pause). Who were those people?
catherine: Were they good or bad?
jacki: I thought the girl in the red dress was a goodie
catherine: No, no she was definitely bad
jacki: But he loved her!
catherine: She stole the money
jacki: To save his life!
catherine: Save whose life?
jacki: I dont know!!
catherine: It was just so..
jacki: I mean...
catherine: Like...
jacki: Who were those people? Who died? Who lived?
catherine: Who was the guy at the end?
jacki: I dont know, james bond?
catherine: No, because he got shot
jacki: He got shot??
catherine: I think so
jacki: What just happened?
catherine: I think we wasted two and half hours of our lives
jacki: That was a James Bond movie, right?
catherine: Right
jacki: I just..I just..
catherine: Maybe you're supposed to watch it more than once?
jacki: Maybe you're supposed to watch all the other james bond movies first?
catherine: How many other ones are there?
jacki: I dont know. I think 12 million
catherine: Hmm. I think from now on we should stick to Gilmore Girls
jacki: deal
so if anyone can explain the concept of james bond the trew girls would be very much appreciative
Sunday, July 08, 2007
BYO?
so julia and i were just thinking
when you get an invite to something
and it says 'byo' on the bottom
what does that even mean?
obviously Bring Your Own, im not 100% retarded. but. seriously. any decent person would add a letter onto the end, to let people know what they want them to bring
i mean
bring your own could entail anything.
i could bring my own blanket? my own ham? my own dvd player? my own male-order husband? my own chocolate body paint? my own piggy bank? my own flag? my own history text book? my own beach ball? my own container of baby tomatoes? my own toilet brush? my own copy of clueless on dvd? my own shower radio? my own donuts?
specify people
when you get an invite to something
and it says 'byo' on the bottom
what does that even mean?
obviously Bring Your Own, im not 100% retarded. but. seriously. any decent person would add a letter onto the end, to let people know what they want them to bring
i mean
bring your own could entail anything.
i could bring my own blanket? my own ham? my own dvd player? my own male-order husband? my own chocolate body paint? my own piggy bank? my own flag? my own history text book? my own beach ball? my own container of baby tomatoes? my own toilet brush? my own copy of clueless on dvd? my own shower radio? my own donuts?
specify people
Friday, July 06, 2007
Diary of a Study Camper
(from my time at study camp)
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 2 of Study Camp
So.
Beth and I just decided that time on study camp is better spent writing blogs that I can post when I get home than actually studying, on account of the fact that I cannot think of anything more heinous, more hideous, more horrifying than doing any more studying than we already have today (6, count them, 6 hours a day).
Ew.
Ew ew ew.
So we arrived yesterday afternoon, thinking hey, it might not actually be as horrible as we think. And so far I can say no. No its not that horrible.
Its worse. One million times worse. One trillion times worse. Think of the worst thing that has ever happened to you, combine it with a plane crash, mosquito bites all over your body, watching ‘Room with a View’ over and over, and times the whole thing by about 75 thousand and you’re about a quarter of the way there.
Probably the most confusing thing so far is the fact that nobody seems to be finding this as bad as me Casey and Beth.
Oh no. Everybody else is all ‘It could be worse’. ‘Its not that bad’.
Oh I suppose its not that bad. No actually, its quite wonderful.
Apart from the fact that the highest temperature we’ve experienced so far is about -6 degrees, the heater in our room only stays on for about 2 minutes at a time, the hot water in the shower ran out after ONE person had a shower, the ‘mashed potato’ at dinner tonight was more like whipped butter sprinkled with imitation potato flakes and THERE IS NO WAY TO ESCAPE.
Luckily the current study session (yes, a study session, despite the fact that its 9pm on a Sunday night) is almost over, so I’m one step closer to being able to run through the rain (yes, rain, isn’t camp wonderful?) to our semi-thawed-by-the-crappy-heater cabin, crawl into my semi-thawed-by-the-heater-but-similar-to-sleeping-on-a-rock bed and attempt to enjoy the only bearable part of camp; unconsciousness.
More in the next study session, during which I should probably be learning about prohibition or some other topic equally as disgusting.
FOUR DAYS AND 13 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 3 of Study Camp
Usually I use the last session of the day – the one where I’m half dead anyway – to write my study camp blog, but after sitting here for the last 45 minutes and doing nothing but scribbling ‘I don’t care’ all over a practice maths exam, I decided to use my time for something more important.
At the moment we’re in our third full day of hell, in the middle of something called an ‘exam simulation’: basically we’ve been locked in the study hall and told that in order for it to feel like a ‘real exam’, we cant have food or laptops Or notes of any kind or ipods or textbooks or too many toilet breaks or to talk or look at each other or breathe or move or think, and all we can have it pen, paper, and a practice exam.
All well and good, except that I actually don’t have enough knowledge to answer even one of the questions on the modern or English papers they gave us, and mr obrien hates me so much that the actually refused to give me a practice paper.
That’s right.
And since we came in here at 9.20am and we’re not allowed out until 12.15pm, ive so far been forced to think of some pretty creative ways to pass the time.
The day wasn’t made any better by the fact that when we tried to sleep through breakfast this morning (electing to be hungry rather than actually falling asleep during the study session), our leaders practically bashed down the door and dragged us out.
Meanwhile, I was still reliving the horror that was lunchtime yesterday, when a cruel and sadistic leader forced our table (typically full of Roseville girls) to wait practically six thousand years under we were allowed to get up and actually get our food.
By the time I actually got lunch, I was so starved that I practically inhaled the food, and wasn’t even able to enjoy how awesome it was (sidebar: pizza, hamburgers, wedges and sausage rolls for lunch = jacki in a fit of ecstasy)
Anyway now I’m sitting here, with one hand on my calculator so it looks like I’m at least attempting to do work, and the other on my stomach, attempting to muffle the noises it keeps emitting due to hunger, which are so loud that people at the table next to us are actually looking over in disgust.
2 DAYS AND 23 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 3.5 of Study Camp
So while I already wrote a ‘blog’ today, I felt it necessary to advertise the fact that TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY I EVER HAVE TO STUDY FOR 6 HOURS.
Because even though we don’t go home til Friday lunchtime (oh, that it would come fast enough), on Thursday we have our superhero/dress up/talent show night, and so we ONLY HAVE TO DO 4 AND A HALF HOURS.
Only now as I was typing that, do I realise what this camp has done to me
ONLY four and a half hours?
I cant wait to go home. Home. Home. Where the heart is. And the tv. And the fridge, which is always open. And the bathroom, which is large and luxurious, and always available, so that if I want to have a shower at 10 past 11 at night, I DAMN WELL CAN.
And my bed.
Oh bed. Oh sweet bed. That I spent so many hours complaining about how small and lumpy and cramped you are. If only, I think to myself. If only I could take it back, and lie in you and snuggle into your sweet doona and wrap myself in your sweet scalding electric blanket and never ever get out.
Study session at the moment. It’s pretty much as bad as ever. The high point was when this bird that was stuck in the ceiling started squawking really loudly. Everybody got really distracted for about one tenth of a second, and then went back to amoebas or differentiation or whatever.
Typical.
So now I’m just sitting here downsizing this document every time one of the leaders comes past, which is pretty much every 8 seconds since I think they’re onto me, so you have to understand how difficult it is to write a full blog.
11 minutes left of this session. I think I might go crazy. Just sitting here, trying to decide whether or not writing I feel that my project has made people more aware of preserving a greener environment, as during the construction, I made sure to advertise the fact that I was attempting to minimise waste as much as possible, and was therefore promoting a greener environment in my DT folio will cause the markers to fail me for being a complete dickhead.
Hmm. I suppose I better go before the leaders form some sort of Committee Against Students Who Come To Study Camp But Never Do Any Study, They Just Sit And Stare Into Space, Or Write Inconceivably Stupid Blogs, Or Attempt To Eat Starburst Lollies Under The Table and kick me out.
Which would actually probably be not so bad.
2 DAYS AND 13 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 5 of Study Camp
Its one of those days where every minute feels like 10 dillion years.
And those days are bad enough on their own.
I don’t need them to be made any worse by the fact that I’m spending the minutes studying.
Ugh.
Ugh.
We’re so close. And yet somehow, still so far. Probably because 2 sessions of studying are standing between us and the finish line.
24 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 5.5 of Study Camp
What I’m going to do when I escape from study camp:
Sleep for 72 hours straight.
Eat for 72 hours straight
Watch whatever I want on tv for 72 hours straight
Stand in the shower. Just stand, and appreciate that there is enough water coming out to actually wet my hair
De-thaw my toes
Waste time
Throw my alarm clock out the window
Go to the toilet without putting my hand up
Have my phone on loud ALL the time
Keep msn and myspace open on my computer indefinitely
Blog
Eat a piece of fruit
Enjoy freedom
Make sure to tell my family that if I ever attempt to come on study camp again, they should slap me silly
22 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 5.9 of Study Camp
So here I am, in our last study session ever, with just over 15 minutes to go, wondering if it would be too uncouth to jump onto the table, strip down, and dance naked when they tell us its over.
That’s how incredibly happy I am.
Or will be.
Except for the fact that camp actually doesn’t end until tomorrow at 11am, which equals almost 20 hours of camp camp camp when I don’t even need to be at camp, so why am I at camp again?
Maybe I should hotwire Beth’s car and drive home tonight. To tell you the truth I’ve been thinking about doing it for the past 3 and a half days, except that:a) I don’t know how to driveb) I don’t know where the keys are
c) There’s a lot of cars in the carpark and im not entirely sure which one is hers
This sucks.
Its our last study session ever and im trying to think of something massively profound and intelligent to say but all I can think about is the fact that I really need to pee.
Typical.
They’re projecting inspirational messages onto the screen up the front now. The last one was ‘luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get!’. I think possibly that is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard.
So basically I would write something witty and interesting, but im too exhausted from the hell that has been this week.
In conclusion, study camps suck.
Signing off,
Jacki
6 MINUTES TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 2 of Study Camp
So.
Beth and I just decided that time on study camp is better spent writing blogs that I can post when I get home than actually studying, on account of the fact that I cannot think of anything more heinous, more hideous, more horrifying than doing any more studying than we already have today (6, count them, 6 hours a day).
Ew.
Ew ew ew.
So we arrived yesterday afternoon, thinking hey, it might not actually be as horrible as we think. And so far I can say no. No its not that horrible.
Its worse. One million times worse. One trillion times worse. Think of the worst thing that has ever happened to you, combine it with a plane crash, mosquito bites all over your body, watching ‘Room with a View’ over and over, and times the whole thing by about 75 thousand and you’re about a quarter of the way there.
Probably the most confusing thing so far is the fact that nobody seems to be finding this as bad as me Casey and Beth.
Oh no. Everybody else is all ‘It could be worse’. ‘Its not that bad’.
Oh I suppose its not that bad. No actually, its quite wonderful.
Apart from the fact that the highest temperature we’ve experienced so far is about -6 degrees, the heater in our room only stays on for about 2 minutes at a time, the hot water in the shower ran out after ONE person had a shower, the ‘mashed potato’ at dinner tonight was more like whipped butter sprinkled with imitation potato flakes and THERE IS NO WAY TO ESCAPE.
Luckily the current study session (yes, a study session, despite the fact that its 9pm on a Sunday night) is almost over, so I’m one step closer to being able to run through the rain (yes, rain, isn’t camp wonderful?) to our semi-thawed-by-the-crappy-heater cabin, crawl into my semi-thawed-by-the-heater-but-similar-to-sleeping-on-a-rock bed and attempt to enjoy the only bearable part of camp; unconsciousness.
More in the next study session, during which I should probably be learning about prohibition or some other topic equally as disgusting.
FOUR DAYS AND 13 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 3 of Study Camp
Usually I use the last session of the day – the one where I’m half dead anyway – to write my study camp blog, but after sitting here for the last 45 minutes and doing nothing but scribbling ‘I don’t care’ all over a practice maths exam, I decided to use my time for something more important.
At the moment we’re in our third full day of hell, in the middle of something called an ‘exam simulation’: basically we’ve been locked in the study hall and told that in order for it to feel like a ‘real exam’, we cant have food or laptops Or notes of any kind or ipods or textbooks or too many toilet breaks or to talk or look at each other or breathe or move or think, and all we can have it pen, paper, and a practice exam.
All well and good, except that I actually don’t have enough knowledge to answer even one of the questions on the modern or English papers they gave us, and mr obrien hates me so much that the actually refused to give me a practice paper.
That’s right.
And since we came in here at 9.20am and we’re not allowed out until 12.15pm, ive so far been forced to think of some pretty creative ways to pass the time.
The day wasn’t made any better by the fact that when we tried to sleep through breakfast this morning (electing to be hungry rather than actually falling asleep during the study session), our leaders practically bashed down the door and dragged us out.
Meanwhile, I was still reliving the horror that was lunchtime yesterday, when a cruel and sadistic leader forced our table (typically full of Roseville girls) to wait practically six thousand years under we were allowed to get up and actually get our food.
By the time I actually got lunch, I was so starved that I practically inhaled the food, and wasn’t even able to enjoy how awesome it was (sidebar: pizza, hamburgers, wedges and sausage rolls for lunch = jacki in a fit of ecstasy)
Anyway now I’m sitting here, with one hand on my calculator so it looks like I’m at least attempting to do work, and the other on my stomach, attempting to muffle the noises it keeps emitting due to hunger, which are so loud that people at the table next to us are actually looking over in disgust.
2 DAYS AND 23 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 3.5 of Study Camp
So while I already wrote a ‘blog’ today, I felt it necessary to advertise the fact that TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY I EVER HAVE TO STUDY FOR 6 HOURS.
Because even though we don’t go home til Friday lunchtime (oh, that it would come fast enough), on Thursday we have our superhero/dress up/talent show night, and so we ONLY HAVE TO DO 4 AND A HALF HOURS.
Only now as I was typing that, do I realise what this camp has done to me
ONLY four and a half hours?
I cant wait to go home. Home. Home. Where the heart is. And the tv. And the fridge, which is always open. And the bathroom, which is large and luxurious, and always available, so that if I want to have a shower at 10 past 11 at night, I DAMN WELL CAN.
And my bed.
Oh bed. Oh sweet bed. That I spent so many hours complaining about how small and lumpy and cramped you are. If only, I think to myself. If only I could take it back, and lie in you and snuggle into your sweet doona and wrap myself in your sweet scalding electric blanket and never ever get out.
Study session at the moment. It’s pretty much as bad as ever. The high point was when this bird that was stuck in the ceiling started squawking really loudly. Everybody got really distracted for about one tenth of a second, and then went back to amoebas or differentiation or whatever.
Typical.
So now I’m just sitting here downsizing this document every time one of the leaders comes past, which is pretty much every 8 seconds since I think they’re onto me, so you have to understand how difficult it is to write a full blog.
11 minutes left of this session. I think I might go crazy. Just sitting here, trying to decide whether or not writing I feel that my project has made people more aware of preserving a greener environment, as during the construction, I made sure to advertise the fact that I was attempting to minimise waste as much as possible, and was therefore promoting a greener environment in my DT folio will cause the markers to fail me for being a complete dickhead.
Hmm. I suppose I better go before the leaders form some sort of Committee Against Students Who Come To Study Camp But Never Do Any Study, They Just Sit And Stare Into Space, Or Write Inconceivably Stupid Blogs, Or Attempt To Eat Starburst Lollies Under The Table and kick me out.
Which would actually probably be not so bad.
2 DAYS AND 13 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 5 of Study Camp
Its one of those days where every minute feels like 10 dillion years.
And those days are bad enough on their own.
I don’t need them to be made any worse by the fact that I’m spending the minutes studying.
Ugh.
Ugh.
We’re so close. And yet somehow, still so far. Probably because 2 sessions of studying are standing between us and the finish line.
24 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 5.5 of Study Camp
What I’m going to do when I escape from study camp:
Sleep for 72 hours straight.
Eat for 72 hours straight
Watch whatever I want on tv for 72 hours straight
Stand in the shower. Just stand, and appreciate that there is enough water coming out to actually wet my hair
De-thaw my toes
Waste time
Throw my alarm clock out the window
Go to the toilet without putting my hand up
Have my phone on loud ALL the time
Keep msn and myspace open on my computer indefinitely
Blog
Eat a piece of fruit
Enjoy freedom
Make sure to tell my family that if I ever attempt to come on study camp again, they should slap me silly
22 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 5.9 of Study Camp
So here I am, in our last study session ever, with just over 15 minutes to go, wondering if it would be too uncouth to jump onto the table, strip down, and dance naked when they tell us its over.
That’s how incredibly happy I am.
Or will be.
Except for the fact that camp actually doesn’t end until tomorrow at 11am, which equals almost 20 hours of camp camp camp when I don’t even need to be at camp, so why am I at camp again?
Maybe I should hotwire Beth’s car and drive home tonight. To tell you the truth I’ve been thinking about doing it for the past 3 and a half days, except that:a) I don’t know how to driveb) I don’t know where the keys are
c) There’s a lot of cars in the carpark and im not entirely sure which one is hers
This sucks.
Its our last study session ever and im trying to think of something massively profound and intelligent to say but all I can think about is the fact that I really need to pee.
Typical.
They’re projecting inspirational messages onto the screen up the front now. The last one was ‘luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get!’. I think possibly that is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard.
So basically I would write something witty and interesting, but im too exhausted from the hell that has been this week.
In conclusion, study camps suck.
Signing off,
Jacki
6 MINUTES TO GO
i return!
yep, its me, after two weeks away: a lovely week of shopping and eating in Noosa followed by the hell that was study camp
ugh
ugh
ugh!!
i cant even explain how bad it was
which is why i used the study time to write blogs which i will now post
enjoy!!!
ugh
ugh
ugh!!
i cant even explain how bad it was
which is why i used the study time to write blogs which i will now post
enjoy!!!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
i just had to write a correction to my blog entitled 'jessica ann morton healy q'
it seems that jess didnt actually fall down while carrying a rowing boat and start choking on her tounge
no no, she didnt
no, she was drinking water and then she started choking on the water. then she started hyperventilating. then she fainted. THEN she swallowed her tounge.
you're right jess. this version is MUCH less embarrasing
it seems that jess didnt actually fall down while carrying a rowing boat and start choking on her tounge
no no, she didnt
no, she was drinking water and then she started choking on the water. then she started hyperventilating. then she fainted. THEN she swallowed her tounge.
you're right jess. this version is MUCH less embarrasing
Monday, June 18, 2007
Jessica Ann Morton (Healy) Q
so by request (from the lovely beth maree docker), i decided to write a blog on jessica ann morton healy q, probably one of the greatest sources of entertainment in my life
Jess.
Jess.
Jess's full name is Jessica Ann Morton Healy Q. Jess is very sporty and does things like basketball and athletics and (groan) rowing. rowing epitomises jess. jess epitomises rowing. its like they were made for each other. like she was probably born holding a tiny oar. probably? definitely.
jess has heaps of nicknames. we pretty much give her a new nickname every day. we call her jess, jessica, jussicoo, special, spesh, special jessie, jessie bear, jessie, s-dog, j-dog, morto, jessica ann, and sometimes (if we really feel like annoying her), we call her by her full name
jess doesnt like her nicknames much. well she pretends to hate them. but we all know she loves them because she told us we could embroider 'spesh' on her jersey. she claims to hate being called spesh the most, but i think she secretly craves it. i think it makes her feel, well, special.
jess works at video ezy. i dont know why. none of us know why because she has crappy pay, crappy hours, her boss is mean to her and most of the people who work there look like drug dealers. she also has to work most saturday nights, which sucks. but this one time we had a picnic and jess brought all this past-its-used-by-date food and we ate it all and it was completely awesome. she also tells us hilarious stories about hilarious things that happen to her on the job, like the time this guy was a returning a porno and it had cum all over it.
most of the time the stories jess tells sound like they could never actually happen in real life, like the guy-returning-porno-with-cum-all-over-it story, but we always listen and laugh.
jess is very accident prone. since we've been at roseville, the school has put the emergency room on speed dial. jess requires about 17 ambulances per year. the most memorable accidents featuring jess include:
Jess.
Jess.
Jess's full name is Jessica Ann Morton Healy Q. Jess is very sporty and does things like basketball and athletics and (groan) rowing. rowing epitomises jess. jess epitomises rowing. its like they were made for each other. like she was probably born holding a tiny oar. probably? definitely.
jess has heaps of nicknames. we pretty much give her a new nickname every day. we call her jess, jessica, jussicoo, special, spesh, special jessie, jessie bear, jessie, s-dog, j-dog, morto, jessica ann, and sometimes (if we really feel like annoying her), we call her by her full name
jess doesnt like her nicknames much. well she pretends to hate them. but we all know she loves them because she told us we could embroider 'spesh' on her jersey. she claims to hate being called spesh the most, but i think she secretly craves it. i think it makes her feel, well, special.
jess works at video ezy. i dont know why. none of us know why because she has crappy pay, crappy hours, her boss is mean to her and most of the people who work there look like drug dealers. she also has to work most saturday nights, which sucks. but this one time we had a picnic and jess brought all this past-its-used-by-date food and we ate it all and it was completely awesome. she also tells us hilarious stories about hilarious things that happen to her on the job, like the time this guy was a returning a porno and it had cum all over it.
most of the time the stories jess tells sound like they could never actually happen in real life, like the guy-returning-porno-with-cum-all-over-it story, but we always listen and laugh.
jess is very accident prone. since we've been at roseville, the school has put the emergency room on speed dial. jess requires about 17 ambulances per year. the most memorable accidents featuring jess include:
- that time she was running away from us and she ran into the bathroom door and got concussion
- that time she was carrying a rowing boat and she slipped and fell and started choking on her own tounge
- that time she fell and hannah tripped over her neck and she had to lie on hobbs lawn for ages and ages and it started to rain so the ambulance guys put a tarpoline over her and we were all watching from the science labs and laughing
jess is very strong, but she doesnt know it. this can be very dangerous. jess is known to pick people up and slam them against metal lockers in a fit of rage. this is very amusing for the onlooker, but very frightening for the victim.
sometimes jess gets likened to a 79 year old man because she sleeps all the time and is always squinting through her glasses and yelling 'IS IT JUST ME, OR IS IT REALLY BRIGHT IN HERE??'. this is why getting driven home by jess can be very frightening. not that im complaining :) jess also always has a large bottle of water wherever she goes. she doesnt usually like to share it with anyone, which is a source of conflict in our group.
jess doesnt like anyone to touch her things. especially her pencil case. so most people think she has some mild form of obsessive compulsive disorder. jess wont let you take anything out of her pencil case unless you put it back in the same order that you got it out. if you mess up her pencil case, jess will literally rip your face off. some of the people in our group like to have fun with jess because she is so anal about her pencil case. most of the time she is able to hang on to her pocessions, but sometimes she slips up, and ends up having to buy a new white out and a new glue stick every week for 3 months. the rest of us have lots of white out and glue at the bottom of our schoolbags.
one of jess's favourite past-times is chasing people around the school. most of the time, jess thinks she is just part of a fun game, while the people getting chased are genuinely running for their lives. another of jess's favourite past-times is eating. jess is known to consume large amounts of food, especially chocolate. another of jess's favourite past-times is buying me lunch. i love jess.
jess can be very handy in a sticky situation. like when we used to play grunge. grunge was basically a very violent form of tag-footy that we used to play on hobbes lawn. im sure we all remember rushing to be on jess's team, because it was common knowledge that whichever team jess was on would win; all they had to do was throw jess the ball, and she would barge through anything and everything to get to the other end of the field. even with the other team latched onto her back and the rest of the year standing on the sidelines screaming 'run jess, run!!' (which soon became her new tagline), jess could barrell through just about anything to ensure a victory. thats probably one of the main reasons we love jess
so thats it. my dedication to jess.
spesh.
jessica ann morton healy q
Sunday, June 17, 2007
thoughts i have when im supposed to be thinking about the hsc #1
you know, it really baffles me when people sign into msn on a mobile device
you know when it says "so and so has signed into msn on a mobile device'
how exactly does that work?
do they speak into their fone and the words come up onto your computer screen?
and how do they talk to more than one person at a time?
and how do they actually sign into msn? is there a mobile number you call? do you have to have the internet on your mobile? do you have to download msn onto your mobile?
....
you know i actually dont care im just avoiding ancient history
you know when it says "so and so has signed into msn on a mobile device'
how exactly does that work?
do they speak into their fone and the words come up onto your computer screen?
and how do they talk to more than one person at a time?
and how do they actually sign into msn? is there a mobile number you call? do you have to have the internet on your mobile? do you have to download msn onto your mobile?
....
you know i actually dont care im just avoiding ancient history
why greys anatomy is infuriating
so what the hell with Greys Anatomy SOS??
i mean, seriously
you're really going to drag it out over THREE weeks??
you really think thats going to work?
YOU REALLY THINK MY ATTENTION WILL LAST FOR THAT LONG????
i mean at least Greys Anatomy Code Black only took one episode
yes it was terrible, the plot line stank, and nobody for the life of them could figure out why they actually called it Greys Anatomy Code Black, but it only took one week!
one! and the next week we were back to regular, awesome, absolutely-filled-to-the-brim sexual tension Greys Anatomy
but Greys Anatomy SOS, ohhh no, no, no, its FAR to good to view in one simple 1-hour episode, so we have to stretch it out over at least three weeks
three weeks? are they CRAZY???
i mean sure, at first, the whole boat-on-fire-meredith-is-looking-after-some-cute-little-blonde-kid-and-issy-has-a-chance-to-redeem-her-probation-sentance-meanwhile-christina-and-burke-are-engaged-can-you-believe-it! thing really caught my attention, but enough is enough!
i mean.
meredith? to drown or not to drown?
thank goodness for youtube, and the fact that america sees every episode before us, is all i have to say, because i dont think i can wait seven whole days to find out whether or not that skinny bitch dies
...
wow.
its true. the hsc really does make people bitter and twisted
i mean, seriously
you're really going to drag it out over THREE weeks??
you really think thats going to work?
YOU REALLY THINK MY ATTENTION WILL LAST FOR THAT LONG????
i mean at least Greys Anatomy Code Black only took one episode
yes it was terrible, the plot line stank, and nobody for the life of them could figure out why they actually called it Greys Anatomy Code Black, but it only took one week!
one! and the next week we were back to regular, awesome, absolutely-filled-to-the-brim sexual tension Greys Anatomy
but Greys Anatomy SOS, ohhh no, no, no, its FAR to good to view in one simple 1-hour episode, so we have to stretch it out over at least three weeks
three weeks? are they CRAZY???
i mean sure, at first, the whole boat-on-fire-meredith-is-looking-after-some-cute-little-blonde-kid-and-issy-has-a-chance-to-redeem-her-probation-sentance-meanwhile-christina-and-burke-are-engaged-can-you-believe-it! thing really caught my attention, but enough is enough!
i mean.
meredith? to drown or not to drown?
thank goodness for youtube, and the fact that america sees every episode before us, is all i have to say, because i dont think i can wait seven whole days to find out whether or not that skinny bitch dies
...
wow.
its true. the hsc really does make people bitter and twisted
Friday, June 15, 2007
that time i abused channel 7
To whom it may concern (at channel 7)
Channel 7 has provided me with much entertainment over the past 17 years, and this has not gone unnoticed. Don't think I dont appreciate my daily dosage of Home and Away, or the occasional viewing of Dancing With The Stars. However, I have some concerns with channel 7's recent schedule.
It has come to my attention that last night, Prison Break was cancelled for the second time in the last three weeks. I find this unacceptable. It was then explained to me that the reason Prison Break has been cancelled so much recently is because of channel 10's airing of the State of Origin. I, however, fail to see what football has to do with Prison Break. I also don't understand why you think some 90's family 'comedy' starring three generations of Douglas men can compete with a national sporting competition, and Prison Break cannot. Don't you think that (the majority of) people would rather see a closeup of Wentworth Miller than Michael Douglas? Don't you think that (the majority of) people would rather experience an exciting twist in the plotline than three old men attempting to find love? Don't you think that (the majority of) people would rather you air Prison Break as normal than listen to me rant on and on and on about how 'Prison Break was cancelled AGAIN last night!'?
In conclusion, I feel it is best that you never cancel Prison Break again, under any circumstance, and should you absolutely feel the need to cancel it, at all, for any reason, you should both warn me in advance, and then send me a complimentary copy of the cancelled episode on dvd.
You should also know that if you cancel Prison Break again, I will not hesistate to find whoever is responsible, and put my foot in their ass.
Sincerely,
Jacki Trew
Channel 7 has provided me with much entertainment over the past 17 years, and this has not gone unnoticed. Don't think I dont appreciate my daily dosage of Home and Away, or the occasional viewing of Dancing With The Stars. However, I have some concerns with channel 7's recent schedule.
It has come to my attention that last night, Prison Break was cancelled for the second time in the last three weeks. I find this unacceptable. It was then explained to me that the reason Prison Break has been cancelled so much recently is because of channel 10's airing of the State of Origin. I, however, fail to see what football has to do with Prison Break. I also don't understand why you think some 90's family 'comedy' starring three generations of Douglas men can compete with a national sporting competition, and Prison Break cannot. Don't you think that (the majority of) people would rather see a closeup of Wentworth Miller than Michael Douglas? Don't you think that (the majority of) people would rather experience an exciting twist in the plotline than three old men attempting to find love? Don't you think that (the majority of) people would rather you air Prison Break as normal than listen to me rant on and on and on about how 'Prison Break was cancelled AGAIN last night!'?
In conclusion, I feel it is best that you never cancel Prison Break again, under any circumstance, and should you absolutely feel the need to cancel it, at all, for any reason, you should both warn me in advance, and then send me a complimentary copy of the cancelled episode on dvd.
You should also know that if you cancel Prison Break again, I will not hesistate to find whoever is responsible, and put my foot in their ass.
Sincerely,
Jacki Trew
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Shower Thoughts #22
so its not really a shower thought, more like something that happened to me while i was in the shower and i thought "you know what, this isnt necessarily a thought, but its so irritating that i feel like writing it down so that other people can laugh at me, because im jacki, and thats what i do".
yeah.
whatever.
basically. last week my mum realised that our upstairs shower (in other words the shower that i always use) was leaking
leaking? i never noticed it was leaking. arent showers supposed to leak? i mean, water IS supposed to come out right?
but anyway my mum insisted on getting some knows-how-to-fix-leaking-things-even-if-they-are-supposed-to-leak-at-least-jacki-thinks-they-are type guy comes and fixes the shower and tells me im not allowed to use it for the next 3 days or something
so as if THAT isnt annoying enough since i had to move all my shower stuff downstairs and wash in my parents shower for the next 3 days, and they have one of those bath/shower combo things, you know where you have to stand IN the bath while you have a shower?
anyway im really not good with those things, especially this one, because ends of the bath kind of slope upwards, and i always stand with my heel in the plughole, so the bath fills up with shower water and it gets really slippery and one day ill probably break my neck, but whatever thats not the point
the point is that tonight was the first night when i was actually able to shower in my own shower again (and could that night come fast enough)
so i got all my stuff and got into the shower and thought
hey
somethings different
anyway i turned on the taps and closed the door (from the outside because i never get in until the water has been running for at least 3 minutes so it can heat up), and waited for like 3 minutes and then jumped in and WHAT THE HELL THE WATER IS FREEZING AND ITS TOUCHING ME SO IM FREEZING AND THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK OF THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE AS COLD AS THIS IS THAT BLANKET AT CASEYS HOUSE, OR MAYBE FALLING OFF THE TITANIC.
what? what? why is this happening to me? and then i realised
THE STUPID MAN WHO CAME TO FIX THE SHOWER CRAFTILY SWAPPED THE LABELS ON THE TAPS
so basically, the hot tap is now cold, and the cold tap is now hot
heres where the big problem started
now im not that stupid. i can add numbers with the best of them. i can hand in my essays on time. but i couldnt for the life of me work out the handles. and i dont know why!
"maybe he didnt actually swap the taps, maybe the water is just taking longer to heat up because its winter"
"no, he changed the taps. so i have to put more cold in"
"putting more cold in doesnt make sense. maybe ill just wait for it to heat up"
"no, ill put more hot in. maybe i need to turn the hot tap further for it to work"
"no, he definitely switched the taps. so that means i need to put in more..."
"cold. no, hot. no, cold. no, hot"
so in the end i just ended up weeping because the only setting i was able to maintain was searing searing hot.
so now as well as having to experience the worst shower in history, i also no longer possess skin.
thanks alot shower guy.
yeah.
whatever.
basically. last week my mum realised that our upstairs shower (in other words the shower that i always use) was leaking
leaking? i never noticed it was leaking. arent showers supposed to leak? i mean, water IS supposed to come out right?
but anyway my mum insisted on getting some knows-how-to-fix-leaking-things-even-if-they-are-supposed-to-leak-at-least-jacki-thinks-they-are type guy comes and fixes the shower and tells me im not allowed to use it for the next 3 days or something
so as if THAT isnt annoying enough since i had to move all my shower stuff downstairs and wash in my parents shower for the next 3 days, and they have one of those bath/shower combo things, you know where you have to stand IN the bath while you have a shower?
anyway im really not good with those things, especially this one, because ends of the bath kind of slope upwards, and i always stand with my heel in the plughole, so the bath fills up with shower water and it gets really slippery and one day ill probably break my neck, but whatever thats not the point
the point is that tonight was the first night when i was actually able to shower in my own shower again (and could that night come fast enough)
so i got all my stuff and got into the shower and thought
hey
somethings different
anyway i turned on the taps and closed the door (from the outside because i never get in until the water has been running for at least 3 minutes so it can heat up), and waited for like 3 minutes and then jumped in and WHAT THE HELL THE WATER IS FREEZING AND ITS TOUCHING ME SO IM FREEZING AND THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK OF THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE AS COLD AS THIS IS THAT BLANKET AT CASEYS HOUSE, OR MAYBE FALLING OFF THE TITANIC.
what? what? why is this happening to me? and then i realised
THE STUPID MAN WHO CAME TO FIX THE SHOWER CRAFTILY SWAPPED THE LABELS ON THE TAPS
so basically, the hot tap is now cold, and the cold tap is now hot
heres where the big problem started
now im not that stupid. i can add numbers with the best of them. i can hand in my essays on time. but i couldnt for the life of me work out the handles. and i dont know why!
"maybe he didnt actually swap the taps, maybe the water is just taking longer to heat up because its winter"
"no, he changed the taps. so i have to put more cold in"
"putting more cold in doesnt make sense. maybe ill just wait for it to heat up"
"no, ill put more hot in. maybe i need to turn the hot tap further for it to work"
"no, he definitely switched the taps. so that means i need to put in more..."
"cold. no, hot. no, cold. no, hot"
so in the end i just ended up weeping because the only setting i was able to maintain was searing searing hot.
so now as well as having to experience the worst shower in history, i also no longer possess skin.
thanks alot shower guy.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
i fail ancient
basically the only thing i learnt which was even remotely related to schoolwork today was that for the last two years ive been spelling tuthankamen wrong.
whatever.
so i decided to compile a list of the many varied (and completely useless) things i actually DID learn today:
whatever.
so i decided to compile a list of the many varied (and completely useless) things i actually DID learn today:
- the tuthankamen thing.
- its hard to balance a laptop on your lap in the car, drink a bottle of coke and write your history extension major work at the same time.
- watching your dog attempt to lick an icecube off the floor can result in hours of entertainment.
- its probably not a good idea to lick the knife clean. especially when its a steak knife.
- nailpolish doesn't taste good.
- no matter how hard you concentrate, you wont be able to change the channel with your mind. get up and find the remote.
- its best to ignore the collosal amount of hair at the bottom of the shower.
- wentworth miller doesnt have a myspace.
- the most intensely painful feeling in the world is getting nailpolish remover in your eye.
- freddie prince jr looks terrible with blonde hair
- i have the attention span of a foetus
Sunday, June 03, 2007
ok so i forgot to blog about it BUT on wednesday night i made probably the biggest but most entertaining mistake of my life, which was introducing my mother to prison break.
and it went something like this:
mum: whats this?
jacki: shhh! its prison break
mum: you shhh!
jacki: im the one thats watching!
mum: no you're not
jacki: yes i am!
mum: why do you even like this show
jacki: wentworth miller
mum: whats wentworth miller?
jacki: (points to screen) thats wentworth miller
mum: (mistaking wentworth for some old guy) what? why?
jacki: no not him
mum: then who?
jacki: ill point when he comes on
mum: ok. so whats happening now?
jacki: cant you just watch?
mum: no
jacki: why?
mum: because i want to annoy you
jacki: when did you become this???
mum: become what?
jacki: become...me!
mum: huh?
jacki: (sees wentworth on the screen and points) there! thats him!
mum: oh i get it
jacki: get what
mum: get why you watch this show (smiling)
jacki: ok im going to pretend you didnt say that
and it basically went on like that for the next 40 minutes, with my mum pointing and/or laughing everytime wentworth miller came onto the screen. so ive come to the conclusion that she is never ever under any circumstance ever allowed to watch prison break with me ever again
and it went something like this:
mum: whats this?
jacki: shhh! its prison break
mum: you shhh!
jacki: im the one thats watching!
mum: no you're not
jacki: yes i am!
mum: why do you even like this show
jacki: wentworth miller
mum: whats wentworth miller?
jacki: (points to screen) thats wentworth miller
mum: (mistaking wentworth for some old guy) what? why?
jacki: no not him
mum: then who?
jacki: ill point when he comes on
mum: ok. so whats happening now?
jacki: cant you just watch?
mum: no
jacki: why?
mum: because i want to annoy you
jacki: when did you become this???
mum: become what?
jacki: become...me!
mum: huh?
jacki: (sees wentworth on the screen and points) there! thats him!
mum: oh i get it
jacki: get what
mum: get why you watch this show (smiling)
jacki: ok im going to pretend you didnt say that
and it basically went on like that for the next 40 minutes, with my mum pointing and/or laughing everytime wentworth miller came onto the screen. so ive come to the conclusion that she is never ever under any circumstance ever allowed to watch prison break with me ever again
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Dear Fox 8
so i just got done watching australia's next top model and im so enraged by the fact that jordan got out and alice didnt that i decided to draft a letter of concern to Fox 8.
so this is it.
To the wonderful people at Fox 8,
Over the years, I've come to love the services that Fox 8 provides. Not just the weekend morning Simpsons, or the new years day Simple Life marathon. Not just the break-free Lost on sunday nights, or the re-runs of America's Next Top Model. Not just the fact that you air Prison Break, which stars my future husband. I really do love Fox 8.
However.
I have some concerns with the most recent showing of Australia's Next Top Model, and particularly some of the judges decisions regarding contestant Alice.
It has recently come to my attention that Alice is the worlds biggest mole.
I mean come on.
Who cries about getting sunburnt and then peeling? WELCOME TO AUSTRALIA ALICE. WE HAVE SUN HERE. And the "I'm so angry that I have to go swimming when my swimming costume is still damp from the last time I went swimming, during which I also complained over the fact that I was getting my swimming costume wet, and I spend too much of my time whining about having wet swimming costumes that I will forget to dry it, and then next time I go swimming I will complain about how it is still wet, and the circle of whinging will continue for ever and ever and ever until Jacki Trew's head explodes" thing is also quite infuriating.
So, in conclusion, I suggest that you, at Fox 8, provide me and all my friends with tickets to the live season final of Australia's Next Top Model so that we can live out our lifelong dreams of throwing poo at Alice as she walks down the runway.
Yours sincerely
Jacki Trew
p.s Thankyou for firing Erica Heynatz.
so this is it.
To the wonderful people at Fox 8,
Over the years, I've come to love the services that Fox 8 provides. Not just the weekend morning Simpsons, or the new years day Simple Life marathon. Not just the break-free Lost on sunday nights, or the re-runs of America's Next Top Model. Not just the fact that you air Prison Break, which stars my future husband. I really do love Fox 8.
However.
I have some concerns with the most recent showing of Australia's Next Top Model, and particularly some of the judges decisions regarding contestant Alice.
It has recently come to my attention that Alice is the worlds biggest mole.
I mean come on.
Who cries about getting sunburnt and then peeling? WELCOME TO AUSTRALIA ALICE. WE HAVE SUN HERE. And the "I'm so angry that I have to go swimming when my swimming costume is still damp from the last time I went swimming, during which I also complained over the fact that I was getting my swimming costume wet, and I spend too much of my time whining about having wet swimming costumes that I will forget to dry it, and then next time I go swimming I will complain about how it is still wet, and the circle of whinging will continue for ever and ever and ever until Jacki Trew's head explodes" thing is also quite infuriating.
So, in conclusion, I suggest that you, at Fox 8, provide me and all my friends with tickets to the live season final of Australia's Next Top Model so that we can live out our lifelong dreams of throwing poo at Alice as she walks down the runway.
Yours sincerely
Jacki Trew
p.s Thankyou for firing Erica Heynatz.
"it rhymes with carolina!"
so today was a pretty awesome day
first off, i got my l's
yes its true.
after almost 15 months of constant nagging, insults, teasing and general annoyance from pretty much everyone over the fact that ive been too lazy to go out and get my l's, i finally got them.
and let me tell you, it wasnt easy. besides the whole 'having to know the road rules' thing, there was the fact that the universe is against me getting my l's.
the first time i went to get them, they wouldnt even let me take the test because i didnt 'have enough id', even though i gave them my school card, a bank statement, an eftpos card and both of my parents signiatures saying i am who i say i am. they suck.
the second time i went to get them, i failed, which im pretty sure is the fault of the rta, not myself, since the rta is gay, and somehow managed to find out which questions i hadn't studied, and then put ALL of those questions in my test.
anyway today when i went to get them, i was pretty certain i was going to pass, you know, because of the whole "third times a charm" thing, except that i forgot i had to go, left school late, missed my train, and had to run all the way from the station to the rta (which is no mean feat let me tell you), so that i could get there on time, which, by the way, i didnt, which gave the old guy behind the counter another reason to hate me, because its common knowledge that all old people hate me on account of the fact that they are old and i am not.
anyway. after i got them, the day got conciderably better because jessiebear decided to drive us all to chookas for hot chips and coke during our free, then we came back, ate them in front of everyone (which always feels good), and then spent the rest of the day reading vogue in the common room, burning popcorn, annoying miss shanahan and beth in the library by reading "where did i come from" out loud, not going to dt, being allowed to not go to dt, and getting bought chocolate by the awesome lauren kelton.
yep. and next top model is on.
i die with happiness
first off, i got my l's
yes its true.
after almost 15 months of constant nagging, insults, teasing and general annoyance from pretty much everyone over the fact that ive been too lazy to go out and get my l's, i finally got them.
and let me tell you, it wasnt easy. besides the whole 'having to know the road rules' thing, there was the fact that the universe is against me getting my l's.
the first time i went to get them, they wouldnt even let me take the test because i didnt 'have enough id', even though i gave them my school card, a bank statement, an eftpos card and both of my parents signiatures saying i am who i say i am. they suck.
the second time i went to get them, i failed, which im pretty sure is the fault of the rta, not myself, since the rta is gay, and somehow managed to find out which questions i hadn't studied, and then put ALL of those questions in my test.
anyway today when i went to get them, i was pretty certain i was going to pass, you know, because of the whole "third times a charm" thing, except that i forgot i had to go, left school late, missed my train, and had to run all the way from the station to the rta (which is no mean feat let me tell you), so that i could get there on time, which, by the way, i didnt, which gave the old guy behind the counter another reason to hate me, because its common knowledge that all old people hate me on account of the fact that they are old and i am not.
anyway. after i got them, the day got conciderably better because jessiebear decided to drive us all to chookas for hot chips and coke during our free, then we came back, ate them in front of everyone (which always feels good), and then spent the rest of the day reading vogue in the common room, burning popcorn, annoying miss shanahan and beth in the library by reading "where did i come from" out loud, not going to dt, being allowed to not go to dt, and getting bought chocolate by the awesome lauren kelton.
yep. and next top model is on.
i die with happiness
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
ladies and gentlemen
...
the impossible has happened.
the unachievable has been achieved.
the unobtainable has been obtained.
the unrealisable has been realised.
the unfeasible has been...feasibled?
whatever. the important thing is WEDNESDAY HAS BEEN SAVED.
by a little thing i like to call frousse raspberry mist frozen yoghurt.
which my mum introduced me to tonight, a little while after i posted my rant about how much of a suck this day is.
this isnt any ordinary yoghurt. oh no. it is THE ULTIMATE YOGHURT. which is frozen.
and frozen is always better.
always.
and not only is it frozen, it is the only thing in the universe which holds the ability to save wednesdays from suck-dom.
i clap my hands with glee, for wednesdays are back!!!
...
the impossible has happened.
the unachievable has been achieved.
the unobtainable has been obtained.
the unrealisable has been realised.
the unfeasible has been...feasibled?
whatever. the important thing is WEDNESDAY HAS BEEN SAVED.
by a little thing i like to call frousse raspberry mist frozen yoghurt.
which my mum introduced me to tonight, a little while after i posted my rant about how much of a suck this day is.
this isnt any ordinary yoghurt. oh no. it is THE ULTIMATE YOGHURT. which is frozen.
and frozen is always better.
always.
and not only is it frozen, it is the only thing in the universe which holds the ability to save wednesdays from suck-dom.
i clap my hands with glee, for wednesdays are back!!!
the ultimate suck
so today was in such strong contrast to last wednesday that if i tried, i could probably sit down and write a kick-ass A-grade english paper about it, although after typing that, i realise that this hypothetical paper would probably be neither kick-ass nor A-grade since nobody who has anything to do with the english department will ever be interested in anything i have to say, especially if it involves miss shanahan or prison break.
nevertheless i shall still proceed to explain the utter suckiness of my day, because (hopefully) nobody who reads this is a member of the english department, although i do have lingering suspicions that mrs fletcher reads it to cure her insatiable "jacki cravings".
whatever.
first of all, i had to wake up early to go to history extension, which, on any normal wednesday, would have been pretty ok, on account of the fact that it is wednesday, and no matter how early it is, no wednesday morning can ever get me down because it is common knowledge that i consider wednesdays the best days ever, except for THIS wednesday i already had a feeling that it was going to be a suck day (more about that later), so when i woke up, even though i should have been filled with joy and happiness because it was wednesday, the best day ever, i was filled with doubt and self-loathing, because it was wednesday, the worst day ever.
YOU HEARD ME
wednesday. a bad day.
i didnt even think that was possible.
anyway the suckiness continued because for the first three periods of the day i couldnt think about anything apart from how much i dislike alice from australia's next top model on account of the fact that she is a giant giant mole.
anyway, after that, we had ancient, which i thought may have had a chance of salvaging the day, but oh no, since miss mitchell was in some weird i-feel-like-torturing-jacki mood, and made me sit in some random assigned seat like 10,000km away from everyone else, and then proceeded to point out that i hadnt done yesterdays homework EVEN THOUGH I WAS AWAY YESTERDAY and therefore had no way of knowing that i even had ancient homework.
i mean come on.
anyway, after lunch (which wasnt even that good, thanks mum) i thought that maybe, maybe, maybe, since we had modern in 6th period, miss shanahan might feel it in her heart to realise my suffering and finally admit her undying love for me to cheer me up, but oh was i wrong, since not only did she laugh in my face after i explained how much of a sucky day i was having, but she then proceeded to laugh in my face about how she has the entirety of prison break season 2 on dvd, and how she COULD burn it for me and give it to me, but she wont, because, in her words...
emmy: it would be like some a currant affair program. "teacher gives student illegal drugs"
jacki: call me crazy but i dont think a dvd lies in the same area as illegal drugs
emmy: whatever. their pirated. thats so illegal
jacki: ive done too much illegal stuff to care at this point
emmy: they'd come after me!
jacki: i have like $1000 worth of pirated music on my computer and nobody's come after me yet!
emmy: whatever. end of discussion.
i mean how unfair is that!?
anyway, and i havent even got to the worst possible part of this wednesday yet.
yes. thats right.
it gets worse.
of course everybody knows that one of the best parts about wednesday is the fact that prison break AND heroes are on.
well guess what?
NEITHER ARE ON TONIGHT
thats right. thanks alot channel 7, for moving heroes to thursday, and then NOT PUTTING PRISON BREAK ON AND NOT EVEN EXPLAINING WHY
so now i have to sit in a stupor and sulk over the fact that im watching some homosexual johnny depp movie instead of prison break starring wentworth miller, my future husband.
and also try to imagine ways to torture whoever decided to not put prison break on tonight.
so there you have it. pretty much an essay on why this day has sucked.
i can only hope that in the four hours i have left of tonight, something happens to at least salvage the day, so that i may retain my faith in the wonder, the beauty and the awesomeness of wednesdays.
nevertheless i shall still proceed to explain the utter suckiness of my day, because (hopefully) nobody who reads this is a member of the english department, although i do have lingering suspicions that mrs fletcher reads it to cure her insatiable "jacki cravings".
whatever.
first of all, i had to wake up early to go to history extension, which, on any normal wednesday, would have been pretty ok, on account of the fact that it is wednesday, and no matter how early it is, no wednesday morning can ever get me down because it is common knowledge that i consider wednesdays the best days ever, except for THIS wednesday i already had a feeling that it was going to be a suck day (more about that later), so when i woke up, even though i should have been filled with joy and happiness because it was wednesday, the best day ever, i was filled with doubt and self-loathing, because it was wednesday, the worst day ever.
YOU HEARD ME
wednesday. a bad day.
i didnt even think that was possible.
anyway the suckiness continued because for the first three periods of the day i couldnt think about anything apart from how much i dislike alice from australia's next top model on account of the fact that she is a giant giant mole.
anyway, after that, we had ancient, which i thought may have had a chance of salvaging the day, but oh no, since miss mitchell was in some weird i-feel-like-torturing-jacki mood, and made me sit in some random assigned seat like 10,000km away from everyone else, and then proceeded to point out that i hadnt done yesterdays homework EVEN THOUGH I WAS AWAY YESTERDAY and therefore had no way of knowing that i even had ancient homework.
i mean come on.
anyway, after lunch (which wasnt even that good, thanks mum) i thought that maybe, maybe, maybe, since we had modern in 6th period, miss shanahan might feel it in her heart to realise my suffering and finally admit her undying love for me to cheer me up, but oh was i wrong, since not only did she laugh in my face after i explained how much of a sucky day i was having, but she then proceeded to laugh in my face about how she has the entirety of prison break season 2 on dvd, and how she COULD burn it for me and give it to me, but she wont, because, in her words...
emmy: it would be like some a currant affair program. "teacher gives student illegal drugs"
jacki: call me crazy but i dont think a dvd lies in the same area as illegal drugs
emmy: whatever. their pirated. thats so illegal
jacki: ive done too much illegal stuff to care at this point
emmy: they'd come after me!
jacki: i have like $1000 worth of pirated music on my computer and nobody's come after me yet!
emmy: whatever. end of discussion.
i mean how unfair is that!?
anyway, and i havent even got to the worst possible part of this wednesday yet.
yes. thats right.
it gets worse.
of course everybody knows that one of the best parts about wednesday is the fact that prison break AND heroes are on.
well guess what?
NEITHER ARE ON TONIGHT
thats right. thanks alot channel 7, for moving heroes to thursday, and then NOT PUTTING PRISON BREAK ON AND NOT EVEN EXPLAINING WHY
so now i have to sit in a stupor and sulk over the fact that im watching some homosexual johnny depp movie instead of prison break starring wentworth miller, my future husband.
and also try to imagine ways to torture whoever decided to not put prison break on tonight.
so there you have it. pretty much an essay on why this day has sucked.
i can only hope that in the four hours i have left of tonight, something happens to at least salvage the day, so that i may retain my faith in the wonder, the beauty and the awesomeness of wednesdays.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
so i think roseville has this problem, because they havent yet realised that it is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE that i should have to endure getting back ALL OF MY EXAMS EXCEPT FOR ONE in the THREE DAYS directly following the actual exam period
do they not understand?
can they not fathom?
theyre exams
AND I SUCK AT EXAMS
i need time to bathe my exam-inflicted wounds, but ohhhh no, no, no, here at roseville, we dont give you time to heal, we just shove your failed exam down your throat and hope your parents dont sue us.
seriously
even miss mitchell, the woman who is infamous for handing back exams so late that she actually has to blow dust off the top to see what the exam was even about, managed to give me my sucky mark in ancient, which was, by the way, in 5th period on a friday, and really put a damper on the whole i-have-modern-next-and-i-havent-seen-miss-shanahan-for-like-10-years-and-i-cant-wait-t0-start-annoying-her-again thing
which sucked.
so i kind of lost my train of thought there but basically emmy rocks, exams suck, and as far as im concerned the next episode of prison break couldnt come fast enough
do they not understand?
can they not fathom?
theyre exams
AND I SUCK AT EXAMS
i need time to bathe my exam-inflicted wounds, but ohhhh no, no, no, here at roseville, we dont give you time to heal, we just shove your failed exam down your throat and hope your parents dont sue us.
seriously
even miss mitchell, the woman who is infamous for handing back exams so late that she actually has to blow dust off the top to see what the exam was even about, managed to give me my sucky mark in ancient, which was, by the way, in 5th period on a friday, and really put a damper on the whole i-have-modern-next-and-i-havent-seen-miss-shanahan-for-like-10-years-and-i-cant-wait-t0-start-annoying-her-again thing
which sucked.
so i kind of lost my train of thought there but basically emmy rocks, exams suck, and as far as im concerned the next episode of prison break couldnt come fast enough
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
ohh prison break
that show makes me so very very very happy
*basks in the light of prison break*
ok
so apart from coming on to vent my love about prison break, which i can only do on my blog, and sometimes with emmy, except pretty much never with emmy because with her i run the risk of hearing things about prison break that i dont want to know, even though im pretty sure theyre not true, like the time she told me that lincoln died even though clearly, without lincoln there would be no story, because there would be no old man to make fun of.
what was i saying?
oh yes
so apart from coming on to vert my love about prison break, i also remembered that i forgot to say that ONCE AGAIN it has been proved that lane cove is THE ULTIMATE SUBURB
ok
ok
so
my mum needed to get a skirt for martins bangin 50th, so we went to lane cove since according to my mum its "the only place i can find normal clothes for old people like me"
...
that strange woman
..
anyway, so she was buying her skirt and i was standing next to her and noticed these pens on the counter, and since they were covered in sparkles and i have the attention span of a 6 year old boy, obviously there was a connection, and i started playing with them, and then the lady goes "you can take one of those"
what
wait
what
and dont think that i hadnt noticed the $10 price tag on those pens
yeah thats right baby. 10 bucks. and the lady gave it to me
to me
for FREE
so there you have it. lane cove is the ultimate suburb, and that lady is the ultimate lady.
that, and the fact that sarah and michael totally hooked up on prison break (during which i was picturing my head on sarahs body), has made this day, the most ultimate day in jacki history
at least until next wednesday
that show makes me so very very very happy
*basks in the light of prison break*
ok
so apart from coming on to vent my love about prison break, which i can only do on my blog, and sometimes with emmy, except pretty much never with emmy because with her i run the risk of hearing things about prison break that i dont want to know, even though im pretty sure theyre not true, like the time she told me that lincoln died even though clearly, without lincoln there would be no story, because there would be no old man to make fun of.
what was i saying?
oh yes
so apart from coming on to vert my love about prison break, i also remembered that i forgot to say that ONCE AGAIN it has been proved that lane cove is THE ULTIMATE SUBURB
ok
ok
so
my mum needed to get a skirt for martins bangin 50th, so we went to lane cove since according to my mum its "the only place i can find normal clothes for old people like me"
...
that strange woman
..
anyway, so she was buying her skirt and i was standing next to her and noticed these pens on the counter, and since they were covered in sparkles and i have the attention span of a 6 year old boy, obviously there was a connection, and i started playing with them, and then the lady goes "you can take one of those"
what
wait
what
and dont think that i hadnt noticed the $10 price tag on those pens
yeah thats right baby. 10 bucks. and the lady gave it to me
to me
for FREE
so there you have it. lane cove is the ultimate suburb, and that lady is the ultimate lady.
that, and the fact that sarah and michael totally hooked up on prison break (during which i was picturing my head on sarahs body), has made this day, the most ultimate day in jacki history
at least until next wednesday
the best day ever
ok so today
is
the best day
ever
first of all, i have no more exams, which means that for at least the next 60 seconds i can relax not having to think about any major works or assessments or the trials or that modern source analysis oral which i have no idea about but am pretty sure im going to fail.
so that was pretty much awesome.
anyway the day started out well because its wednesday and everyone knows that wednesdays are my absolute favourite days on account of the fact that they are the most awesome days ever, and then it got even better because despite the fact that i had to get up at like 630 to go to extension history, and we had to sit there in a panic when we discovered that t-watty was going to give our exams back, I DIDNT FAIL
what is this, you say?
jacki didnt fail extension history?
it must be some mistake!
but no my friends, it seems that t-watty has had some seizure in the middle of reading my essay and i guess he missed all the crap i put in there, so i passed!
weeeeeeee
as if that wasnt good enough, we had an excursion today to macquarie where i got to do two of my favourite things: hoard free stuff and annoy my sister.
anyway when we got back from the excursion it was only lunchtime but i got to go home because i had a double free after lunch (i told you wednesdays are awesome), and tonight heroes AND the most awesome episode of prison break (as if all the episodes arent awesome, expecially when wentworth miller is partially naked) is on and i am so excited i may die and last night Paloma got voted out from australia's next top model AND my mum bought cinnamon donuts and i got my eyebrows done and EVERYTHING IS JUST SO EXCELLENT I MAY DIE
yes
yes
so basically today has been so ultimately awesome that the goodness couldnt even be shrouded by the fact that we had to have some heinous injection today which im going to stop typing about RIGHT NOW because it ISNT awesome or cool or ultimate or super-duper and therefore CANNOT be included in my post about the best, most awesome, coolest, most super-duper, ultimat-est, best, best, most great, great, great, awesome, hunky-dory, its-all-that, bees-knees, the-bomb, wiggedy-wiggest, most freaking awesome day i have ever had
and its not even over yet
more after prison break (oh baby oh baby)
is
the best day
ever
first of all, i have no more exams, which means that for at least the next 60 seconds i can relax not having to think about any major works or assessments or the trials or that modern source analysis oral which i have no idea about but am pretty sure im going to fail.
so that was pretty much awesome.
anyway the day started out well because its wednesday and everyone knows that wednesdays are my absolute favourite days on account of the fact that they are the most awesome days ever, and then it got even better because despite the fact that i had to get up at like 630 to go to extension history, and we had to sit there in a panic when we discovered that t-watty was going to give our exams back, I DIDNT FAIL
what is this, you say?
jacki didnt fail extension history?
it must be some mistake!
but no my friends, it seems that t-watty has had some seizure in the middle of reading my essay and i guess he missed all the crap i put in there, so i passed!
weeeeeeee
as if that wasnt good enough, we had an excursion today to macquarie where i got to do two of my favourite things: hoard free stuff and annoy my sister.
anyway when we got back from the excursion it was only lunchtime but i got to go home because i had a double free after lunch (i told you wednesdays are awesome), and tonight heroes AND the most awesome episode of prison break (as if all the episodes arent awesome, expecially when wentworth miller is partially naked) is on and i am so excited i may die and last night Paloma got voted out from australia's next top model AND my mum bought cinnamon donuts and i got my eyebrows done and EVERYTHING IS JUST SO EXCELLENT I MAY DIE
yes
yes
so basically today has been so ultimately awesome that the goodness couldnt even be shrouded by the fact that we had to have some heinous injection today which im going to stop typing about RIGHT NOW because it ISNT awesome or cool or ultimate or super-duper and therefore CANNOT be included in my post about the best, most awesome, coolest, most super-duper, ultimat-est, best, best, most great, great, great, awesome, hunky-dory, its-all-that, bees-knees, the-bomb, wiggedy-wiggest, most freaking awesome day i have ever had
and its not even over yet
more after prison break (oh baby oh baby)
Sunday, May 13, 2007
one-legged pajama pant
ok so basically i woke up this morning and thought to myself, what the hell, why is one of my legs cold and the other not cold?
and so i took a chance and looked down, and low and behold, one of my pajama pant legs is gone.
like actually gone.
vanished.
vamoosed.
accio'd by harry potter.
i have no idea.
and since i was pretty sure i had 2 pajamas legs when i went to bed last night, i decided to investigate.
so after about 6 minutes of exploring my bed, i not only found the missing pajama leg, but also 3 pins, half a packet of strawberry bubblegum, a yellow pencil, my ipod sock, and something which looked supiciously like the bottom of a stiletto heel.
...
what the
anyway where was i?
oh yes. so anyway, eventually i came to the conclusion that i am such an intensely rough sleeper that the small-ish rip that i had in my pajama pants must have ripped so much during the night because of my tossing and turning that the entire leg got torn off.
either that, or i was mauled by a she-bear in the middle of the night.
...
which, knowing my luck, is probably actually what went down
and so i took a chance and looked down, and low and behold, one of my pajama pant legs is gone.
like actually gone.
vanished.
vamoosed.
accio'd by harry potter.
i have no idea.
and since i was pretty sure i had 2 pajamas legs when i went to bed last night, i decided to investigate.
so after about 6 minutes of exploring my bed, i not only found the missing pajama leg, but also 3 pins, half a packet of strawberry bubblegum, a yellow pencil, my ipod sock, and something which looked supiciously like the bottom of a stiletto heel.
...
what the
anyway where was i?
oh yes. so anyway, eventually i came to the conclusion that i am such an intensely rough sleeper that the small-ish rip that i had in my pajama pants must have ripped so much during the night because of my tossing and turning that the entire leg got torn off.
either that, or i was mauled by a she-bear in the middle of the night.
...
which, knowing my luck, is probably actually what went down
Friday, May 11, 2007
Shower Thoughts# 21
ok i changed my mind
..
the most annoying thing in the world is not the fact that while most people had only 1 exam left, i had 4, or the fact that Wentworth Miller hasnt proposed to me yet.
Its that feeling when you hop out of the shower feeling petal smooth and daisy fresh, and then you realise you missed a huge patch on the back of your calf when you were shaving your legs.
..
the most annoying thing in the world is not the fact that while most people had only 1 exam left, i had 4, or the fact that Wentworth Miller hasnt proposed to me yet.
Its that feeling when you hop out of the shower feeling petal smooth and daisy fresh, and then you realise you missed a huge patch on the back of your calf when you were shaving your legs.
Ode to RSI/Severe Tendonitis
for bethy!
Oh RSI/Severe Tendonitis
Why'd you have to come and bite us?
You attacked poor Bethy's hand
Wont you go back to RSI land?
Oh RSI/Severe Tendonitis
Why'd you have to come and smite us?
You attacked poor Bethy's arm
It was worse than Ferrari Farm (major vandy in-joke)
Oh RSI/Severe Tendonitis
Why'd you have to come and fight us?
You attacked poor Bethy's fingers
The smell of you, it always lingers
Oh RSI/Severe Tendonitis
Why'd you have to come and light us? (on fire)
Get away from Bethy now
Or you'll get mauled by a she-cow
(ok that last verse was kind of sucky but give me a break, finding things that rhyme with tendonitis? not that easy my friends. not that easy)
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
i fail!
you know whats really sad is that while, today, after our dt/art exam, most people were running around screaming "just one more exam to go! one more! one more!" and then probably happily planning out their four day weekend in their mind, i was huddled in the corner eating my own hair over the fact that i have not one exam left, not two left, but four.
four.
four.
oh, whats that you said? two? three?
NO.
FOUR.
and its not as if theyre the bludgy exams (which arent really 'bludgy' exams, i just like to call them that so i feel better about not studying for them).
oh no.
lets check out the line up:
four.
four.
oh, whats that you said? two? three?
NO.
FOUR.
and its not as if theyre the bludgy exams (which arent really 'bludgy' exams, i just like to call them that so i feel better about not studying for them).
oh no.
lets check out the line up:
- tomorrow: english extension creative writing...which i suppose would be bearable if i was actually talented in the area of creative writing, which i am not. or if i had bothered to look at the criteria they gave us, which i havent. or if i wasnt a total idiot. which i am
- friday: modern...honestly if i sat for three hundred and eleven years and read about nothing but modern and spoke about nothing but modern and thought about nothing but modern, i would probably still fail dismally.
- monday: history extension...let me put it this way: probably the only subject that i suck more at than modern.
- tuesday: english extension viva voce...which will probably be less of an actual viva voce, and more of 6 minutes of mrs fletcher and mrs betts tearing whats left of their hair (after teaching me for 2 years) out because of my utter lack of knowledge about anything remotely connected to anything.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
so i came home to be a good girl and do some study for dt tomorrow, which im pretty sure im going to fail, but hey, its worth a shot, and i sat down to try and write something about some crap like the smart car which nobody gives a crap about so why are we even studying it, i have no idea, and then i found that i cant write anything because of 675,000 pages i had to write today in the english exam so pretty much english can suck my white ass.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Pussycat Dolls: the search for the next prostitute
can i just take this opportunity to point out how retarded that pussycat dolls reality series is.
first of all, the first person to get eliminated was eliminated because, according to the judges, she "danced too much like a whore", "was too sexy", and "looked like a stripper". In THAT SAME EPISODE, those SAME JUDGES locked each of the contestants into a confined glass box, and made them dance in burlesque lingerie in front of a whole restaurant full of people.
then, in the most recent episode, contestants wore what amounted to little more than a pair of fishnet stockings and lacey nipple warmers, and pole danced to "hey big spender".
second of all, the contestants are being judged on their ability to sing and dance. Now im no big music producer, but doesnt it seem a little unfair to judge the next pussycat doll on abilities that the current pussycat dolls dont actually possess? Can the pussycat dolls sing? Can the pussycat dolls dance? No. no they cant. they just stand in a row, dirty dance in lingerie and occasionally murmur something like "five dollars an hour".
but yes. yes. i do watch it every week.
shut up! if i didnt, you wouldnt be able to read about how sucky it is.
first of all, the first person to get eliminated was eliminated because, according to the judges, she "danced too much like a whore", "was too sexy", and "looked like a stripper". In THAT SAME EPISODE, those SAME JUDGES locked each of the contestants into a confined glass box, and made them dance in burlesque lingerie in front of a whole restaurant full of people.
then, in the most recent episode, contestants wore what amounted to little more than a pair of fishnet stockings and lacey nipple warmers, and pole danced to "hey big spender".
second of all, the contestants are being judged on their ability to sing and dance. Now im no big music producer, but doesnt it seem a little unfair to judge the next pussycat doll on abilities that the current pussycat dolls dont actually possess? Can the pussycat dolls sing? Can the pussycat dolls dance? No. no they cant. they just stand in a row, dirty dance in lingerie and occasionally murmur something like "five dollars an hour".
but yes. yes. i do watch it every week.
shut up! if i didnt, you wouldnt be able to read about how sucky it is.
the mystical 5 cents
so this afternoon me krobby and julia julia decided to go for afternoon tea at the forum, which was a great idea until we actually got there and realised we had practically no money between all of us.
luckily jess was the one who drove us there, and since she loves paying for me, she gave us her spare cash. combined with whatever we could find in the bottoms of our pockets, we managed to scrounge $2.43 each, which we used to buy some chips from oporto and drinks from coles.
so me and kiera were in charge of getting the chips, and julia was in charge of getting the drinks.
let me just say at this point how much oporto sucks. large chips? I THINK NOT! there was barely enough for a newborn child to chow down on, let alone three roseville girls.
anyway after sitting and whinging about the lack of chips for about 10 minutes we decided to try and spend our change on some sort of 'dessert'.
we ended up back in coles, walking up and down the aisles, where one of us would point out something that we could share, then the other two would proceed to insult that person for their choice.
you know something i learned this afternoon is that its pretty hard to choose something to buy when you dont even know how much money you have. let me explain.
when we first walked into coles, we had counted $1.20 in change, and were making our choice accordingly, when kiera realised that 5 cents had gone missing, and we only had $1.15.
so then we spent another 10 minutes choosing something else, only to realise that no, we did have $1.20.
then, on the way to the checkout, kiera decided that it was possible that she had miscounted, and suggested that we stop and count again. No, now we only had $1.15.
Then kiera had to go, so me and julia went to pick out what we wanted, during which we counted our money again (just incase), and low and behold, there it was, $1.20. We headed to the checkout, and were about to happily enjoy our purchase when the checkout chick pointed out that we only had $1.15.
What?
How is this even possible!?
how? how!?
its like the universes way of mocking the fact that i will probably end up in prison within 12 minutes of leaving school and going into the real world because i have no idea about taxes/bank statements/working in general.
whatever man.
luckily jess was the one who drove us there, and since she loves paying for me, she gave us her spare cash. combined with whatever we could find in the bottoms of our pockets, we managed to scrounge $2.43 each, which we used to buy some chips from oporto and drinks from coles.
so me and kiera were in charge of getting the chips, and julia was in charge of getting the drinks.
let me just say at this point how much oporto sucks. large chips? I THINK NOT! there was barely enough for a newborn child to chow down on, let alone three roseville girls.
anyway after sitting and whinging about the lack of chips for about 10 minutes we decided to try and spend our change on some sort of 'dessert'.
we ended up back in coles, walking up and down the aisles, where one of us would point out something that we could share, then the other two would proceed to insult that person for their choice.
you know something i learned this afternoon is that its pretty hard to choose something to buy when you dont even know how much money you have. let me explain.
when we first walked into coles, we had counted $1.20 in change, and were making our choice accordingly, when kiera realised that 5 cents had gone missing, and we only had $1.15.
so then we spent another 10 minutes choosing something else, only to realise that no, we did have $1.20.
then, on the way to the checkout, kiera decided that it was possible that she had miscounted, and suggested that we stop and count again. No, now we only had $1.15.
Then kiera had to go, so me and julia went to pick out what we wanted, during which we counted our money again (just incase), and low and behold, there it was, $1.20. We headed to the checkout, and were about to happily enjoy our purchase when the checkout chick pointed out that we only had $1.15.
What?
How is this even possible!?
how? how!?
its like the universes way of mocking the fact that i will probably end up in prison within 12 minutes of leaving school and going into the real world because i have no idea about taxes/bank statements/working in general.
whatever man.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
top ten
inspired by Vandy's conversation today at recess, I give you...
Jacki's list of top ten...pre-teen fashion disasters
10. Jelly Sandals
9. Flared Glitter Jeans
8. Frilly Socks
7. Pedal Pushers
6. The One-Shoulder Top
5. Tops with real flowers on them
4. "Peasant" clothing
3. Anything snakeskin
2. One word - Midriff
and the number one fashion mistake of our pre-teen years
1. Those velvet pants that Lauren's mum made her. (Thats Lauren Smith, of 12 T 6. Berowra pride)
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
why catherine trew should go die in a hole
ok so the reason i was falling asleep for pretty much all of today is because last night my darling sister decided to ignore me for pretty much the whole evening, and then start paying attention to me just as i was going to bed (which was nice and early by the way, so that i could be petal fresh for extension history the next morning).
so it was about 11, and i was climbing into my warm inviting bed and had just settled down to continue the couragous adventures of harry potter when this thing jumps onto me and the following conversation ensued:
jacki: what the hell?
catherine: im bored. lets talk.
jacki: no, i have extension history tomorrow and im already failing dismally
catherine: ew extension history, ew, why do you even do that
jacki: im going to sleep now
catherine: no! wait! five minutes, please?
jacki: five minutes. thats it.
(five minutes later)
jacki: ok thats it, get out.
catherine: no!
jacki: come on catherine.
catherine: no!
jacki: get out of my bed or i'll rip your face off
catherine: just five more minutes, please?
jacki: ok five minutes, then im putting my foot down.
(thirty-five minutes later)
catherine: so whatever happened to putting your foot down?
jacki: shut up
(twenty minutes later)
jacki: (sitting up) ok catherine, time to go.
catherine: never! (pushing me back down)
jacki: ow!
catherine: how could that possibly have hurt?
jacki: I hit my head on harry potter!
catherine: what the hell are you doing reading harry potter
jacki: shut up, he's the coolest!
catherine: whatever
..anyway the harry-potter-is-cool-no-he-isnt-um-yes-he-is conversation eventually led to the why-is-that-girl-who-plays-hermione-such-a-bad-actor conversation, which led to the when-will-sarah-and-michael-hook-up-on-prison-break conversation, which led to the oh-mi-gosh-its-only-tuesday-night-and-im-already-dead conversation, which led to the what-the-hell-are-you-still-doing-in-my-bedroom conversation, and by the time i fell asleep it was time to wake up and go to history extension.
and that is why my sister is now decomposing under our house.
so it was about 11, and i was climbing into my warm inviting bed and had just settled down to continue the couragous adventures of harry potter when this thing jumps onto me and the following conversation ensued:
jacki: what the hell?
catherine: im bored. lets talk.
jacki: no, i have extension history tomorrow and im already failing dismally
catherine: ew extension history, ew, why do you even do that
jacki: im going to sleep now
catherine: no! wait! five minutes, please?
jacki: five minutes. thats it.
(five minutes later)
jacki: ok thats it, get out.
catherine: no!
jacki: come on catherine.
catherine: no!
jacki: get out of my bed or i'll rip your face off
catherine: just five more minutes, please?
jacki: ok five minutes, then im putting my foot down.
(thirty-five minutes later)
catherine: so whatever happened to putting your foot down?
jacki: shut up
(twenty minutes later)
jacki: (sitting up) ok catherine, time to go.
catherine: never! (pushing me back down)
jacki: ow!
catherine: how could that possibly have hurt?
jacki: I hit my head on harry potter!
catherine: what the hell are you doing reading harry potter
jacki: shut up, he's the coolest!
catherine: whatever
..anyway the harry-potter-is-cool-no-he-isnt-um-yes-he-is conversation eventually led to the why-is-that-girl-who-plays-hermione-such-a-bad-actor conversation, which led to the when-will-sarah-and-michael-hook-up-on-prison-break conversation, which led to the oh-mi-gosh-its-only-tuesday-night-and-im-already-dead conversation, which led to the what-the-hell-are-you-still-doing-in-my-bedroom conversation, and by the time i fell asleep it was time to wake up and go to history extension.
and that is why my sister is now decomposing under our house.
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