Dear Hollywood,
Ok. And I didnt say anything for a while, because you know, its important to show some self-control, but seriously, this writers strike thing?
Um, yeah.
ITS RUINING OUR LIVES.
Alright. Maybe that was a bit dramatic. Yes, I admit, probably the only people who care are me and Casey. But still, two viewers is more than none.
Its not that I dont feel for the writers, whatever their plight may be. But you have to realise what effect having nothing to watch on TV is having on me.
Do you know what I watched the other day? Do you?
Bridezillas.
Yeah. I never thought I'd sink that low. Well I did! BECAUSE THERE WAS NOTHING ELSE ON!! Thankfully I've pulled myself together a little since then, and you can rest assured I wont be watching any more Bridezillas, no matter how bad the situation gets.
Ok. I lied. I'll admit it.
I watch Bridezillas every day. I think its awesome, I love it. The combination of PMS, an endless supply of disfunctional couples, and those relatives who decide they really cant give a damn and drop the cake in the middle of the church aisle is just sensational.
But enough.
I cant survive on Bridezillas alone!
Something needs to be done. And quickly. Before my brain explodes from attempting to come up with another solution to the whole Dr-Tancredi's-decapitated-head-was-in-a-box-and-we-all-saw-it-but-she-cant-be-dead-because-if-she-is-dead-then-i-will-die-on-account-of-the-fact-that-one-of-my-most-cherished-past-times-is-watching-Prison-Break-and-using-my-imaginaton-to-superimpose-my-head-over-Dr-Tancredi's-everytime-she-and-Wentworth-Miller-have-a-kissing-scene thing.
So please.
do it for me
and Casey
and Gemma, since I know she loves Bones as much as I do.
sincerely,
Jacki Trew
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
sex and the city
ok so i was just watching sex and the city and it occured to me.
why do i even like this show? i mean, seriously. and its not just because the overall concept is pretty, you know, morally disturbing. i also realised that i dont even like any of the main characters that much.
you know when you're watching a show or a movie, you pick out, if you had to be one of the characters, which one you'd be?
and dont deny it because everyone does it.
well i was thinking about it, and i couldnt choose. they really all repulse me in some way or another.
charlotte is too much of a mothery type, carrie looks like a horse, miranda's hair irritates me beyond all reason and samantha, well lets face it, shes a complete nymphomaniac.
and dont get me started on Mr. Big. because i can start myself thanks very much!!
first of all, Mr BIG? you really couldnt think of anything more obvious?
also hes, what, 70? 75? i know it was the 90's, but there were still hot people out there you know!! whats with the hair? oh im being completely horrible of course, i suppose its because pretty much every tv show i watch now is uber-crappy thanks to my recent addiction to Gossip Girl.
except Prison Break of course
i love you wentworth
why do i even like this show? i mean, seriously. and its not just because the overall concept is pretty, you know, morally disturbing. i also realised that i dont even like any of the main characters that much.
you know when you're watching a show or a movie, you pick out, if you had to be one of the characters, which one you'd be?
and dont deny it because everyone does it.
well i was thinking about it, and i couldnt choose. they really all repulse me in some way or another.
charlotte is too much of a mothery type, carrie looks like a horse, miranda's hair irritates me beyond all reason and samantha, well lets face it, shes a complete nymphomaniac.
and dont get me started on Mr. Big. because i can start myself thanks very much!!
first of all, Mr BIG? you really couldnt think of anything more obvious?
also hes, what, 70? 75? i know it was the 90's, but there were still hot people out there you know!! whats with the hair? oh im being completely horrible of course, i suppose its because pretty much every tv show i watch now is uber-crappy thanks to my recent addiction to Gossip Girl.
except Prison Break of course
i love you wentworth
Monday, February 04, 2008
so here i am, sitting at work, and its 4.28pm and the last time a customer came in here was almost 45 minutes ago and i dont finish for another hour and a half and theres nothing to do but sit and look out the windows at the school kids walking home from school, and laughing at them with pity (because, you know, theyre at school) until i realise that its 4.28pm and the last time a customer came in here was almost 45 minutes ago and i dont finish for another hour and a half.
which sucks.
and in addition to that, ive been sick for like the last 6 days.
and in addition to THAT, the sound on this computer is like permanently muted or something (probably on account of the computer having no speakers), so when i tried to watch an episode of prison break just now, i couldnt hear anything they were saying.
...
...
*screams silently*
oh! oh! a customer!
wow, i really should get up and ask them if they need any help browsing.
but i wont, instead im going to sit here behind the counter and type out a recount of everything they are doing because i am so so so bored.
ok. shes looking at the bath gels. now moving onto the perfume diffusers. now shes turning to look at me curiously because my frantic typing is kind of loud. ok we made eye-contact. nobody says anything. and yes, its awkward.
dammit she left. and without buying anything. RUDE!
..
although probably not as rude as a shop assistant who types out every move of the customer rather than helping them.
well whatever! its been a long day. AND my crankiness just increased since i realise i have no ride home, so when i finally get out of here (which knowing my luck will be somewhere around midnight), im going to have to walk home.
WALK.
HOME.
in the RAIN.
whatever. and now onto a hilarious description of Yolanda, this girl who works at the sandwich shop next to ours. one time she came in, sat down in the waiting-room-area (the shop is also a beautician) and started eating her lunch.
just, you know, just randomly.
then she spilled her drink all over the floor, and after i had helped her finish wiping it up, she asked me if she could keep the paper towel.
the paper towel.
that i used to wipe her spilt drink OFF THE FLOOR.
yeah. i know.
oh hang on, phone call.
ok and back. and that reminds me, this morning, amongst serving customers and booking appointments, my main duty was to fix the fax machine.
easy enough right? no. not easy enough, since nobody told me what was WRONG with the fax machine in the first place.
anyway after reading pretty much the entire instruction manual, i was pretty sure i had it down, except then it started ringing like a phone.
and on the screen it said 'pick up the phone'.
so im looking all over this stupid fax machine and i cant find any part of it that looks remotely like a phone, so i just pick up the store phone.
of course nothing happens, and the fax machine keeps ringing and the customers are looking at me like 'what kind of a retard doesnt know how to use a fax machine' and i feel like asking one of them for help except that my boss probably wouldnt approve.
anyway.
eventually i solved the problem by kicking the fax machine until it turned off.
success!
oh.
more customers.
must be off!
which sucks.
and in addition to that, ive been sick for like the last 6 days.
and in addition to THAT, the sound on this computer is like permanently muted or something (probably on account of the computer having no speakers), so when i tried to watch an episode of prison break just now, i couldnt hear anything they were saying.
...
...
*screams silently*
oh! oh! a customer!
wow, i really should get up and ask them if they need any help browsing.
but i wont, instead im going to sit here behind the counter and type out a recount of everything they are doing because i am so so so bored.
ok. shes looking at the bath gels. now moving onto the perfume diffusers. now shes turning to look at me curiously because my frantic typing is kind of loud. ok we made eye-contact. nobody says anything. and yes, its awkward.
dammit she left. and without buying anything. RUDE!
..
although probably not as rude as a shop assistant who types out every move of the customer rather than helping them.
well whatever! its been a long day. AND my crankiness just increased since i realise i have no ride home, so when i finally get out of here (which knowing my luck will be somewhere around midnight), im going to have to walk home.
WALK.
HOME.
in the RAIN.
whatever. and now onto a hilarious description of Yolanda, this girl who works at the sandwich shop next to ours. one time she came in, sat down in the waiting-room-area (the shop is also a beautician) and started eating her lunch.
just, you know, just randomly.
then she spilled her drink all over the floor, and after i had helped her finish wiping it up, she asked me if she could keep the paper towel.
the paper towel.
that i used to wipe her spilt drink OFF THE FLOOR.
yeah. i know.
oh hang on, phone call.
ok and back. and that reminds me, this morning, amongst serving customers and booking appointments, my main duty was to fix the fax machine.
easy enough right? no. not easy enough, since nobody told me what was WRONG with the fax machine in the first place.
anyway after reading pretty much the entire instruction manual, i was pretty sure i had it down, except then it started ringing like a phone.
and on the screen it said 'pick up the phone'.
so im looking all over this stupid fax machine and i cant find any part of it that looks remotely like a phone, so i just pick up the store phone.
of course nothing happens, and the fax machine keeps ringing and the customers are looking at me like 'what kind of a retard doesnt know how to use a fax machine' and i feel like asking one of them for help except that my boss probably wouldnt approve.
anyway.
eventually i solved the problem by kicking the fax machine until it turned off.
success!
oh.
more customers.
must be off!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Cloverfield
So.
Since I got the day off today (yay for me!!), me and my sister (yes, Catherine, the one who always argues with me. Also referred to on frequent occasions as Cathe or Chate) decided to 'hit up' Macquarie shopping centre and spend some of that money that I'm supposed to be saving in order to travel later this year.
Whatever.
After 2 hours of shopping which mainly consisted of the two of us arguing about whether or not Macquarie shopping centre sucks (Catherine, who attends Macquarie Uni and is a frequent Macquarie shopping centre shopper, knows the crazy layout off by heart, is able to find any shop she wants within 5 minutes, and therefore assumed the position of arguing that Macquarie shopping centre does not suck. In fact she even went so far as to say that it is superior to other nearby shopping centres including Chatswood Westfield. Meanwhile, I, a dedicated Chatswood Westfield shopper, find the twists and turns of Macquarie shopping centre extremely irritating and unnecessary, and always seem to either get lost in the maze of shops, or end up walking around and around in circles for hours on end. Also, that huge sun-dial in the middle? Totally retarded).
Anyway when that got tiring we decided to go see a movie, and had to make a choice between the almost impossibly girly 27 dresses, the super serious yet somehow extremely lame I am legend, or some movie neither of us knew anything about - some 'shrouded-in-mystery' type called Cloverfield.
So, naturally, because we are both idiots with terrible taste in entertainment (hello - we are probably the only two people on earth who watch The Simple Life and enjoy it), we decided to see Cloverfield.
Well shut me up. Because it turned out to be 100% LEGEN - and i hope you're not lactose-intolerant because the last part of this word is - DAIRY.
LEGENDAIRY.
or rather, legendary.
Think Independance Day meets How I Met Your Mother. I KNOW! It's so awesome its redonkulous. AND that Janice Ian chick from Mean Girls is in it. AND there's heaps of explosions and surround sound. could this movie BE any better?
???
no.
no it could not.
so you should all go see it.
and thank me for suggesting it to you.
and then join me in my quest to contact the writers and ask them why its called Cloverfield.
Since I got the day off today (yay for me!!), me and my sister (yes, Catherine, the one who always argues with me. Also referred to on frequent occasions as Cathe or Chate) decided to 'hit up' Macquarie shopping centre and spend some of that money that I'm supposed to be saving in order to travel later this year.
Whatever.
After 2 hours of shopping which mainly consisted of the two of us arguing about whether or not Macquarie shopping centre sucks (Catherine, who attends Macquarie Uni and is a frequent Macquarie shopping centre shopper, knows the crazy layout off by heart, is able to find any shop she wants within 5 minutes, and therefore assumed the position of arguing that Macquarie shopping centre does not suck. In fact she even went so far as to say that it is superior to other nearby shopping centres including Chatswood Westfield. Meanwhile, I, a dedicated Chatswood Westfield shopper, find the twists and turns of Macquarie shopping centre extremely irritating and unnecessary, and always seem to either get lost in the maze of shops, or end up walking around and around in circles for hours on end. Also, that huge sun-dial in the middle? Totally retarded).
Anyway when that got tiring we decided to go see a movie, and had to make a choice between the almost impossibly girly 27 dresses, the super serious yet somehow extremely lame I am legend, or some movie neither of us knew anything about - some 'shrouded-in-mystery' type called Cloverfield.
So, naturally, because we are both idiots with terrible taste in entertainment (hello - we are probably the only two people on earth who watch The Simple Life and enjoy it), we decided to see Cloverfield.
Well shut me up. Because it turned out to be 100% LEGEN - and i hope you're not lactose-intolerant because the last part of this word is - DAIRY.
LEGENDAIRY.
or rather, legendary.
Think Independance Day meets How I Met Your Mother. I KNOW! It's so awesome its redonkulous. AND that Janice Ian chick from Mean Girls is in it. AND there's heaps of explosions and surround sound. could this movie BE any better?
???
no.
no it could not.
so you should all go see it.
and thank me for suggesting it to you.
and then join me in my quest to contact the writers and ask them why its called Cloverfield.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
I've found a hero
"One of the 24 similarities between women and fish is that they are both attracted to shiny things. Honestly, don't you ever read my blog?"
- Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
- Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
WARNING
ok
ive said it before
and - because im too much of a complete moron to take my own advice - ill say it again
dont
dont
ever think you can drink three litres of diet coke just before bedtime and get away with it.
oh it seemed like a perfectly good idea at the time. practically ingenius, really.
but now its 5 in the morning and im yet to get to sleep because:
a) i am totally jacked up on caffeine
b) i have to get up every 8 seconds to pee
literally. ive been to the toilet so many times tonight that theres hardly any point in me bothering to wear pants because as soon as i put them back on, its time to take them off again.
luckily no other members of my family joined me in my crusade to consume every drop of diet coke in the house, so everyone else is to deep in sleep to notice me.
except for my cat, who is giving me a look thats one third amusement, one third disgust and one third pity.
whatever.
ive said it before
and - because im too much of a complete moron to take my own advice - ill say it again
dont
dont
ever think you can drink three litres of diet coke just before bedtime and get away with it.
oh it seemed like a perfectly good idea at the time. practically ingenius, really.
but now its 5 in the morning and im yet to get to sleep because:
a) i am totally jacked up on caffeine
b) i have to get up every 8 seconds to pee
literally. ive been to the toilet so many times tonight that theres hardly any point in me bothering to wear pants because as soon as i put them back on, its time to take them off again.
luckily no other members of my family joined me in my crusade to consume every drop of diet coke in the house, so everyone else is to deep in sleep to notice me.
except for my cat, who is giving me a look thats one third amusement, one third disgust and one third pity.
whatever.
Lord Howe
so ive been back from lord howe for almost a week but - so sue me - i had better and MORE IMPORTANT things to do than sit around and blog.
ok.
that was a blatant lie.
i was just too lazy.
BUT. i did work for one day. wednesday.
and then on thursday i had to go to the bank. by the way, sidebar: banks are a totally grown-up and scary feature of life that i have no plans to make contact with again any time in the near future. I mean. It was so QUIET in there. Not to mention nearly everyone was wearing a suit. Even the GIRLS. Needless to say, I felt a tad out of place in my un-ironed guns n roses tshirt and a pair of blue shorts. Thank goodness I rememeberd to put shoes on. Whatever.
Where was I?
Oh yes. Lord Howe.
Basically it was the same blissful story as it is every year: 10 days of me and julia lying side by side on a sandy white beach listening to john mayer and justin timberlake and reading terrible trashy novels and magazine articles about the many ways in which Australians are slowly killing themselves (I swear if it wasnt sunbaking it was a poor diet or being a work-a-holic or, i dont know, standing too close to the microwave while you're heating up a criossant or whatever).
Oh. Also Eric Bana was there again. He stopped by our table at dinner on the first night to say hello and welcome us back. No big deal. I mean we are practically family at this point. I expect he'll make a personal dedication to us during his next award acceptance.
Yes.
Yes I am a giant giant dork.
And you love it.
What else? Oh I'm pretty sure the hotel we stay at is a certified fat farm, only not the kind that makes you lose weight, but the kind that feeds you and feeds you and feeds you until you can't even fit into maternity clothes let alone the eensy-weensy teeny-weeny yellow polka dot bikini you brought with you, only you dont really care because that mango cheesecake was just too damn good to resist. Oh baby.
Also Julia, Leigh and myself formed a band, so creatively named 'Mating in the shallows', and then discovered that the lyrics of our songs fore-told the future.
Eh hem.
For example, soon after the third or fourth rendition of our original hit 'Catherine got eaten by a shark', my sister Catherine was...shall we say...confronted?..by a shark while snorkeling. Which was of course hilarious to those of us who hadnt yet entered the water, and not so hilarious to those whose snorkelling goggles had fogged up so bad that they were unable to see that the shark was now heading in their direction.
I've just had a thought. Does anyone even read this anymore?
ha
haha
ok.
that was a blatant lie.
i was just too lazy.
BUT. i did work for one day. wednesday.
and then on thursday i had to go to the bank. by the way, sidebar: banks are a totally grown-up and scary feature of life that i have no plans to make contact with again any time in the near future. I mean. It was so QUIET in there. Not to mention nearly everyone was wearing a suit. Even the GIRLS. Needless to say, I felt a tad out of place in my un-ironed guns n roses tshirt and a pair of blue shorts. Thank goodness I rememeberd to put shoes on. Whatever.
Where was I?
Oh yes. Lord Howe.
Basically it was the same blissful story as it is every year: 10 days of me and julia lying side by side on a sandy white beach listening to john mayer and justin timberlake and reading terrible trashy novels and magazine articles about the many ways in which Australians are slowly killing themselves (I swear if it wasnt sunbaking it was a poor diet or being a work-a-holic or, i dont know, standing too close to the microwave while you're heating up a criossant or whatever).
Oh. Also Eric Bana was there again. He stopped by our table at dinner on the first night to say hello and welcome us back. No big deal. I mean we are practically family at this point. I expect he'll make a personal dedication to us during his next award acceptance.
Yes.
Yes I am a giant giant dork.
And you love it.
What else? Oh I'm pretty sure the hotel we stay at is a certified fat farm, only not the kind that makes you lose weight, but the kind that feeds you and feeds you and feeds you until you can't even fit into maternity clothes let alone the eensy-weensy teeny-weeny yellow polka dot bikini you brought with you, only you dont really care because that mango cheesecake was just too damn good to resist. Oh baby.
Also Julia, Leigh and myself formed a band, so creatively named 'Mating in the shallows', and then discovered that the lyrics of our songs fore-told the future.
Eh hem.
For example, soon after the third or fourth rendition of our original hit 'Catherine got eaten by a shark', my sister Catherine was...shall we say...confronted?..by a shark while snorkeling. Which was of course hilarious to those of us who hadnt yet entered the water, and not so hilarious to those whose snorkelling goggles had fogged up so bad that they were unable to see that the shark was now heading in their direction.
I've just had a thought. Does anyone even read this anymore?
ha
haha
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
summing up 2007
GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT Ring?
nope
LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
a bag from julia
EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?
many a time
WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
when was the first time?
THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
clothes. woopsie.
LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
sultana bran
FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
how tall they are
ONE FAVORITE SONG?
off the wall - michael jackson
WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
longueville
HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:
roseville :)
CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:
optus
FAVORITE MALL STORE:
meh
LONGEST JOB YOU HAD:
at bakers delight
DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
probably
DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?:
occasionally
LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED:
naomi and tims!!
LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND:
last night
FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT:
sushi world
BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD:
im thinking miss shanahans story about her eyeball falling out or whatever
WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS?
wherever
CAN YOU COOK?
a little something something
WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?:
a big wheel
LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:
the last time i watched moulin rouge
MOST DISLIKED FOODS:
christmas pudding and fish
THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
hmmm...
THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
the way i get addicted to things too easily
LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?:
10 hours
FAVORITE MOVIE?
dirty dancing
CAN YOU SING?
ha!
LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
snow patrol
LAST MOVIE RENTED:
factory girl
ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT:
Sucre
FAVORITE vacation spot
lord howe
LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?:
yeesum
FAVORITE COMEDIAN?:
that guy from Hickery. ha
DO YOU SMOKE?
ew no
SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?
with
WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?:
no one. im a bed hog.
DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?:
how would i know
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?
never :)
PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
french toast
DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?:
nope. ew.
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
not near me
DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?:
nope
LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?:
casey
LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?:
catherine
WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?:
a new years one from madi
NUMBER OF PILLOWS?:
3
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?:
pajamas
PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC:
tonight, gotta leave that 9 to 5 up on the wall, and just enjoy yourself
WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?:
ew. ew ew ew
CAN YOU PLAY POOL?:
badly
CAN YOU SWIM?
yep
FAVORITE ICE CREAM?:
cookies and cream
DO YOU LIKE MAPS?
what?
TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF:
christmas is my favourite day of the year
EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?:
yep
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON
summer
LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?
last night
WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ?
nine
BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?:
coats
LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?:
i dont drive
NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?:
peter
DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?:
um. wat?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND??
whatever
BIRTHDATE
10th march
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE:
forever young
ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?:
yep
ARE YOU SMILING?:
i am now
DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW
yep
IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
panama
ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?:
not anymore
DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?:
i do
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?
wentworth
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?:
which one?
DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?:
nope
DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?:
yep
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?:
like i would after watching titanic. oh, and that poseidon movie
DO YOU HAVE A SISTER
i do
ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?:
i am
ARE YOU IN LOVE?:
a little bit
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?
yep
DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?
kind of
WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?
earrings
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?
watch the simple life. so sue me, its hilarious!
nope
LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
a bag from julia
EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?
many a time
WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
when was the first time?
THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
clothes. woopsie.
LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
sultana bran
FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
how tall they are
ONE FAVORITE SONG?
off the wall - michael jackson
WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
longueville
HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:
roseville :)
CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:
optus
FAVORITE MALL STORE:
meh
LONGEST JOB YOU HAD:
at bakers delight
DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
probably
DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?:
occasionally
LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED:
naomi and tims!!
LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND:
last night
FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT:
sushi world
BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD:
im thinking miss shanahans story about her eyeball falling out or whatever
WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS?
wherever
CAN YOU COOK?
a little something something
WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?:
a big wheel
LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:
the last time i watched moulin rouge
MOST DISLIKED FOODS:
christmas pudding and fish
THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
hmmm...
THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
the way i get addicted to things too easily
LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?:
10 hours
FAVORITE MOVIE?
dirty dancing
CAN YOU SING?
ha!
LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
snow patrol
LAST MOVIE RENTED:
factory girl
ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT:
Sucre
FAVORITE vacation spot
lord howe
LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?:
yeesum
FAVORITE COMEDIAN?:
that guy from Hickery. ha
DO YOU SMOKE?
ew no
SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?
with
WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?:
no one. im a bed hog.
DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?:
how would i know
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?
never :)
PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
french toast
DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?:
nope. ew.
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
not near me
DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?:
nope
LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?:
casey
LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?:
catherine
WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?:
a new years one from madi
NUMBER OF PILLOWS?:
3
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?:
pajamas
PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC:
tonight, gotta leave that 9 to 5 up on the wall, and just enjoy yourself
WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?:
ew. ew ew ew
CAN YOU PLAY POOL?:
badly
CAN YOU SWIM?
yep
FAVORITE ICE CREAM?:
cookies and cream
DO YOU LIKE MAPS?
what?
TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF:
christmas is my favourite day of the year
EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?:
yep
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON
summer
LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?
last night
WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ?
nine
BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?:
coats
LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?:
i dont drive
NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?:
peter
DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?:
um. wat?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND??
whatever
BIRTHDATE
10th march
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE:
forever young
ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?:
yep
ARE YOU SMILING?:
i am now
DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW
yep
IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
panama
ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?:
not anymore
DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?:
i do
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?
wentworth
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?:
which one?
DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?:
nope
DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?:
yep
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?:
like i would after watching titanic. oh, and that poseidon movie
DO YOU HAVE A SISTER
i do
ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?:
i am
ARE YOU IN LOVE?:
a little bit
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?
yep
DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?
kind of
WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?
earrings
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?
watch the simple life. so sue me, its hilarious!
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
jackiiscrazy.blogspot.com on TV
didnt i tell you it would happen one day?
http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-au&showPlaylist=true&playlist=videoByUuids:uuids:3550cb8d-820c-4336-9e63-0598ba9e17ef
check at 14 seconds.
and this was ACTUALLY on tv
*dies with excitement*
http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-au&showPlaylist=true&playlist=videoByUuids:uuids:3550cb8d-820c-4336-9e63-0598ba9e17ef
check at 14 seconds.
and this was ACTUALLY on tv
*dies with excitement*
Saturday, December 22, 2007
shower thoughts #26
WHY does the john west tuna ad have to be SO SCARY?
seriously
SERIOUSLY
have you SEEN it?
the one with the sharks? its just an ad for tuna. TUNA. most people dont even like tuna. in fact, im pretty sure that apart from mel and my mum, nobody actually buys tuna anymore, unless, you know, its for their pet cat.
so why would the tuna people make their commercial so attention-grabbingly scary?? THEY DONT NEED TO GRAB ANYONE'S ATTENTION.
and why?
BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT NOBODY EATS TUNA.
...
INCLUDING THE JOHN WEST PEOPLE.
so they should KNOW that there's no point in trying to grab people's attention, because as soon as they start paying attention, they will realise its just an ad for tuna, and they'll go 'ew, tuna' and then what will they do?
STOP PAYING ATTENTION
unless they're me, and they become so transfixed by the terrifying concept of a man on a boat surrounded by sharks who is sure to be killed when the sharks leap out of the water and onto the boat, because they are being driven into a hunger-frenzy by the tuna he's eating.
sigh.
you know what i bet in the ad, the guy isnt even eating tuna.
its probably some tuna-substitute, which sounds completely disgusting, but when you think about it, there really isnt anything as disgusting as tuna, so tuna-substitute cant be that bad.
OH
and i just thought of something else
WHY WOULD PEOPLE BUY TUNA IF IT MEANS THEY ARE GOING TO BE ATTACKED BY SHARKS???
because thats pretty much what the john west people are saying will happen if you eat john west tuna. you know. every shark in the world will smell the tuna from inside your tummy, and they will go wild with hunger and desire for the tuna (ew) and will hunt you down until they find you, kill you and eat you.
and, subsequently, the tuna.
seriously, john west. put that in your pipe and smoke it.
seriously
SERIOUSLY
have you SEEN it?
the one with the sharks? its just an ad for tuna. TUNA. most people dont even like tuna. in fact, im pretty sure that apart from mel and my mum, nobody actually buys tuna anymore, unless, you know, its for their pet cat.
so why would the tuna people make their commercial so attention-grabbingly scary?? THEY DONT NEED TO GRAB ANYONE'S ATTENTION.
and why?
BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT NOBODY EATS TUNA.
...
INCLUDING THE JOHN WEST PEOPLE.
so they should KNOW that there's no point in trying to grab people's attention, because as soon as they start paying attention, they will realise its just an ad for tuna, and they'll go 'ew, tuna' and then what will they do?
STOP PAYING ATTENTION
unless they're me, and they become so transfixed by the terrifying concept of a man on a boat surrounded by sharks who is sure to be killed when the sharks leap out of the water and onto the boat, because they are being driven into a hunger-frenzy by the tuna he's eating.
sigh.
you know what i bet in the ad, the guy isnt even eating tuna.
its probably some tuna-substitute, which sounds completely disgusting, but when you think about it, there really isnt anything as disgusting as tuna, so tuna-substitute cant be that bad.
OH
and i just thought of something else
WHY WOULD PEOPLE BUY TUNA IF IT MEANS THEY ARE GOING TO BE ATTACKED BY SHARKS???
because thats pretty much what the john west people are saying will happen if you eat john west tuna. you know. every shark in the world will smell the tuna from inside your tummy, and they will go wild with hunger and desire for the tuna (ew) and will hunt you down until they find you, kill you and eat you.
and, subsequently, the tuna.
seriously, john west. put that in your pipe and smoke it.
yeah, so i just got done watching Dante's Peak, one of those truly nineties-style cinematic gems, where the basic plotline goes something like guy meets girl/guy likes girl/guy discovers girl has two illegitimate but perfectly charming children/guy proceeds to 'woo' said girl but is interrupted by discovery of charred corpses in local hot springs, and, later on, explosion of volcano situated on edge of town where story is taking place.
oh. so good. so so good.
and it wasnt just the ridiculously over-acted storyline. i think the fact that the movie also featured an eleven year old boy driving a car, a lake being transformed into pure acid, the complete destruction of the town within the first 40 minutes, and a mangy half-starved dog somehow able to escape from a house surrounded by liquid hot magma that put the icing on the cake.
i also loved the moment where, upon the initial explosion of the volcano, several cars parked outside the towns high school spontaneously burst into flame. completely understandable, of course.
whatever. now im sitting here, watching old prison break re-runs and drooling over wentworth, thinking its probably time that i got up and had a shower.
oh. wentworth just came back on the screen.
maybe five more minutes.
oh. so good. so so good.
and it wasnt just the ridiculously over-acted storyline. i think the fact that the movie also featured an eleven year old boy driving a car, a lake being transformed into pure acid, the complete destruction of the town within the first 40 minutes, and a mangy half-starved dog somehow able to escape from a house surrounded by liquid hot magma that put the icing on the cake.
i also loved the moment where, upon the initial explosion of the volcano, several cars parked outside the towns high school spontaneously burst into flame. completely understandable, of course.
whatever. now im sitting here, watching old prison break re-runs and drooling over wentworth, thinking its probably time that i got up and had a shower.
oh. wentworth just came back on the screen.
maybe five more minutes.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
catch up
so.
its been a while since i could be bothered to drag my sorry butt over to the computer and re-count the ridiculously exaggerated events that take place in my life.
therefore i give you, a summary:
its been a while since i could be bothered to drag my sorry butt over to the computer and re-count the ridiculously exaggerated events that take place in my life.
therefore i give you, a summary:
- lake mac
which basically involved 11 insane teenage girls inhabiting a house for a week, and attempting to make as much noise, eat as much chocolate, sunbake for as many hours, dance as many dances and watch as many chic flicks as possible. excellent
- schoolies
terrible nachos. melbourne boys. sunbaking. sauna. naked julia. wet and wild. channel v. all nighters. piercings. the best time of our lives.
- i got a job
for a week. but still. i dont think any of us imagined i would join the wonderful world of work after that stint at bakers delight (although working at a bakery did allow me to think of what is possibly my most ingenious creation to date: chocolate chip scones dipped in icing, rolled in sprinkles and microwaved for 15 seconds. bliss)
- new phone?
yes. yes! well no, not yet. but on thursday (thursday the day which is like any other normal day and has nothing to do with results WHATSOEVER) possibly i may actually come into possession of a phone that actually functions.
thats it. apart from OHMIGOSH the fact that there is now A PRISON BREAK RIDE at luna park.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
shower thoughts #25
oh my gosh.
oh my gosh.
uai
UAI
UAI
also. gossip girl might just be one of the best shows ever.
oh my gosh.
uai
UAI
UAI
also. gossip girl might just be one of the best shows ever.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
top ten
Top Ten things we've learnt from watching Home and Away
10. It is always summer in Australia
9. If there is a party on the beach, everyone will be drunk within 8 minutes of arrival
8. If you live in Summer Bay and happen to stumble upon some legal troubles, there is no need to worry, because the sister of the surf club president is always coincidentally in town whenever somebody goes to court, and she is a judge
7. It is perfectly normal for devastating cyclones to target (and destroy only) specific beach towns
6. If somebody new arrives in town, it is most likely that they are either related to you, or a convicted murderer
5. Paralysis can be easily overcome, as long as your nurse is an attractive single mother who desperately needs protection from her violent ex-husband
4. One night stands always result in pregnancy
3. If you have a twin sister who doesn't really look like you, its probably because she and your actual twin were accidentally switched at birth
2. Don’t get married. You will either divorce, be shot and killed by a crazy drug addict, or fail to turn up to the wedding at all
and the number one thing we've learned from watching home and away???
1. There’s no need to fear death. In all likeliness, you’ll just come back to life in a few weeks anyway
10. It is always summer in Australia
9. If there is a party on the beach, everyone will be drunk within 8 minutes of arrival
8. If you live in Summer Bay and happen to stumble upon some legal troubles, there is no need to worry, because the sister of the surf club president is always coincidentally in town whenever somebody goes to court, and she is a judge
7. It is perfectly normal for devastating cyclones to target (and destroy only) specific beach towns
6. If somebody new arrives in town, it is most likely that they are either related to you, or a convicted murderer
5. Paralysis can be easily overcome, as long as your nurse is an attractive single mother who desperately needs protection from her violent ex-husband
4. One night stands always result in pregnancy
3. If you have a twin sister who doesn't really look like you, its probably because she and your actual twin were accidentally switched at birth
2. Don’t get married. You will either divorce, be shot and killed by a crazy drug addict, or fail to turn up to the wedding at all
and the number one thing we've learned from watching home and away???
1. There’s no need to fear death. In all likeliness, you’ll just come back to life in a few weeks anyway
Friday, November 16, 2007
so that's where i get it from
so catherine and i just got back from lane cove, and i came upstairs to find my mother (about whose crazy antics im sure you've all heard by now) wrapped in a blanket, sitting on the couch watching some ancient movie which wouldn't have held my attention for more than one second apart from the fact that its about prison, and anybody who's anybody knows that anything about prison will catch my eye on account of the fact that prison break (starring wentworth miller, more commonly known as my future husband) is my all time favourite show. of all time. ever.
anyway. after a few more seconds i realise this movie isnt just about prison.
its about breaking out of prison.
a prison BREAK, if you may.
huh? huh?
this needed investigation:
jacki: (innocently) oh, so whats this you're watching?
mum: The Great Escape
jacki: it looks old
mum: it is old
jacki: whats it about?
mum: its about a group of americans who escape from a german prisoner of war camp during the second world war...wait maybe a mixture of british and americans. anyway. its, like, the best movie ever. AND its got steve mcqueen in it!
jacki: who?
mum: steve mcqueen
jacki: who's that?
mum: (sounding outraged that i dont know) a famous actor!
jacki: is he good looking?
mum: please. he's like the Wentworth Miller of the 1970's
ok.
ok.
OH
MY
GOSH
MY MUM HAS A WENTWORTH MILLER?
more importantly...
MY MUM KNOWS WHO WENTWORTH MILLER IS???
on second thought, i suppose thats actually a given, considering how much i talk about him, especially (for some reason) at the dinner table.
but still...
is this where i got that burning passion that resides deep within my loins, telling me that wentworth and i were made for each other? from my MOTHER?!
who knew family discussion time could be so entertaining?
of course i had to correct my mum straight away
you know, because you cant just go around saying someone is the wentworth miller of the seventies or whatever.
you cant compare regular people to wentworth. he's just too amazing.
anyway. after a few more seconds i realise this movie isnt just about prison.
its about breaking out of prison.
a prison BREAK, if you may.
huh? huh?
this needed investigation:
jacki: (innocently) oh, so whats this you're watching?
mum: The Great Escape
jacki: it looks old
mum: it is old
jacki: whats it about?
mum: its about a group of americans who escape from a german prisoner of war camp during the second world war...wait maybe a mixture of british and americans. anyway. its, like, the best movie ever. AND its got steve mcqueen in it!
jacki: who?
mum: steve mcqueen
jacki: who's that?
mum: (sounding outraged that i dont know) a famous actor!
jacki: is he good looking?
mum: please. he's like the Wentworth Miller of the 1970's
ok.
ok.
OH
MY
GOSH
MY MUM HAS A WENTWORTH MILLER?
more importantly...
MY MUM KNOWS WHO WENTWORTH MILLER IS???
on second thought, i suppose thats actually a given, considering how much i talk about him, especially (for some reason) at the dinner table.
but still...
is this where i got that burning passion that resides deep within my loins, telling me that wentworth and i were made for each other? from my MOTHER?!
who knew family discussion time could be so entertaining?
of course i had to correct my mum straight away
you know, because you cant just go around saying someone is the wentworth miller of the seventies or whatever.
you cant compare regular people to wentworth. he's just too amazing.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
why why why is it that im so close to the end, yet it still feels a dillion years away???
probably because i spend more time looking at the clock and listening to crappy music from the 80's than i do studying.
WHATEVER
shouldnt my lack of knowledge and utter panic that ill get into the final exam and be able to think of nothing but the fact that Wentworth Miller's middle name is Earl (Earl. ahaha) make the hours go faster? or at least more bareable???
who am i kidding. nothing is bareable when im stuck in here attempting to memorise the methodology of Thucydides and catherine is sitting on the other side of the door watching Will Ferrell movies and eating chinese food for lunch.
...
i wonder how long it will take me to figure out exactly how many hours i have left until i finish the HSC. maybe by the time i work it out it will be time to go to bed, and ill be that much closer to the finish line.
ok here goes..
...
...
damn i finished already! and it only took...DAMMIT! one minute and 14 seconds! are you kidding me??!!
if only it werent for the technology of calculators and such, id probably be struggling with remainders and carrying the one or whatever for at least an hour. but oh no. some genius had to go invent a calculator. thanks alot.
probably because i spend more time looking at the clock and listening to crappy music from the 80's than i do studying.
WHATEVER
shouldnt my lack of knowledge and utter panic that ill get into the final exam and be able to think of nothing but the fact that Wentworth Miller's middle name is Earl (Earl. ahaha) make the hours go faster? or at least more bareable???
who am i kidding. nothing is bareable when im stuck in here attempting to memorise the methodology of Thucydides and catherine is sitting on the other side of the door watching Will Ferrell movies and eating chinese food for lunch.
...
i wonder how long it will take me to figure out exactly how many hours i have left until i finish the HSC. maybe by the time i work it out it will be time to go to bed, and ill be that much closer to the finish line.
ok here goes..
...
...
damn i finished already! and it only took...DAMMIT! one minute and 14 seconds! are you kidding me??!!
if only it werent for the technology of calculators and such, id probably be struggling with remainders and carrying the one or whatever for at least an hour. but oh no. some genius had to go invent a calculator. thanks alot.
Friday, October 26, 2007
how ironic that i wasnt really that big of a procrastinator until the HSC actually started.
ok i lied. i was always a procrastinator.
but, as i sit here and, rather than doing something studious like reading about Pompeii and Herculaneum in the pre-79AD era, flip between old re-runs of Gilmore Girls and that terrible scene in High School Musical 2 where Troy dances on the golf course, i realise ive officially sunk to a new level of procrastination.
and let me tell you, it feels phenomenal.
possibly even better than the liberation that came from watching 'Prison Break with RUBBER DUCKS' on youtube the night before my hsc maths exam.
yeah. actually that probably wasnt the best idea. still. its always useful to have something to replay over and over in your mind should you finish an exam 15 minutes early.
blah blah blah, i cant be bothered to type anything else and since i doubt any of you will read this until the HSC is officially over, by which time we all would have died of old age, nobody will suffer from my lack of blog.
at least hopefully not
until next time!
ok i lied. i was always a procrastinator.
but, as i sit here and, rather than doing something studious like reading about Pompeii and Herculaneum in the pre-79AD era, flip between old re-runs of Gilmore Girls and that terrible scene in High School Musical 2 where Troy dances on the golf course, i realise ive officially sunk to a new level of procrastination.
and let me tell you, it feels phenomenal.
possibly even better than the liberation that came from watching 'Prison Break with RUBBER DUCKS' on youtube the night before my hsc maths exam.
yeah. actually that probably wasnt the best idea. still. its always useful to have something to replay over and over in your mind should you finish an exam 15 minutes early.
blah blah blah, i cant be bothered to type anything else and since i doubt any of you will read this until the HSC is officially over, by which time we all would have died of old age, nobody will suffer from my lack of blog.
at least hopefully not
until next time!
Monday, October 15, 2007
Shower Thoughts #24
Which is more concerning?
The fact that I care more about whether or not Sara will die on the next episode of Prison Break than the HSC, or the fact that I think I have nothing better to do than ask myself this question?
The fact that I care more about whether or not Sara will die on the next episode of Prison Break than the HSC, or the fact that I think I have nothing better to do than ask myself this question?
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