so no reply from Rove Live yet.
thats ok, thats ok. i refuse to be disheartened (is that even a word? im guessing no. whatever)
i figured maybe i should start smaller than rove. i also figured the quest for wentworth is my ticket to propel me (and julia) to international stardom. or at least to an international restraining order. whatever.
so i emailed 2dayfm's Hamish and Andy. i went with Hamish and Andy for 2 reasons:
1) they are pretty much the male alternative of me and julia
2) i hate nova (and yeah, i know that might seem kind of backwards since they are the ones who got me on the radio for the first time, but come on. the g-string thing. ugh)
anyway, i figured emailing hamish and andy 10 dillion times would be the best way to get their attention, on account of the fact that if i fill up their inbox with nothing but emails from me, they'll have to read at least one and put us on the radio.
yeah its going to work.
anyway this is pretty much the beginning of my escapade to become famous. in order to meet wentworth miller (in case any of you hadnt picked up on the reason i actually want to be famous yet).
Emails to Hamish and Andy (shortened version)
Hamish and andy. How goes it? Just an email to let you know theres a female alternative to you guys out there. Its me and my friend Julia. We’ll do anything to get famous. Mostly because we want to meet wentworth miller. So bad. So bad we drove around Sydney for 8 hours on a ‘quest’ to meet him. 8 hours. If that’s not worth at least a mention on the show, then I don’t know what is. Think about it.
Love jacki (and Julia).
jacki (thats me) and julia (thats my friend) are like the female hamish and andy, except possibly more eccentric,insane and inappropriate. if thats even possible. we love wentworth miller. so much we drove around sydney for 8 hours looking for places with 'wentworth' in the name. we called it THE QUEST FOR WENTWORTH. if thats not enough to make us famous, then i dont know what is. basically we're willing to endure anything to get famous/meet wentworth miller. interested? (and bear in mind i really do mean ANYTHING).
love jacki (and julia). haha.
i dont know if you've noticed but ive emailed you alot lately. ALOT. im pretty much going to keep emailing until you let me on the show. in the end ill be typing about nothing. although that might be entertaining. ive been told my writing style is 'refreshing'. or does that just mean incomprehensibly stupid? wow. incomprehensibly. if thats actually a word, kudos for me. seriously, think about letting me and my friend julia on the show. we're the female you guys. we'll do anything to get famous. ANYTHING.
love jacki
so yeah. join the campaign to get us famous. you know you want to. and even if you dont want to, just do it. you havent got anything better to do (hey thats a good tagline...hmmm)
Monday, August 27, 2007
UAI dont care
so basically we had some UAC talk today.
or was it UAI?
whatever, it was U-something, anyway the point is that it was so boring that all i can rememeber about it is wanting to stab myself in the face just for a little bit of entertainment.
basically the board of studies controls our lives. at least thats what i got out of it, since while mrs cranston was talk talk talking about who knows what, i was imagining our year locked in some epic battle against the board of studies, who kind of resembled those freakish robot-clones from whatever star wars movie it was when hayden christiansen was hot.
anyway. im thinking maybe i should ditch the uni or tafe thing and just become a bum on the street in protest of the whole board-of-studies-being-in-control-of-our-lives-whether-we-like-it-or-not-thing.
ok.
what am i even talking about?
or was it UAI?
whatever, it was U-something, anyway the point is that it was so boring that all i can rememeber about it is wanting to stab myself in the face just for a little bit of entertainment.
basically the board of studies controls our lives. at least thats what i got out of it, since while mrs cranston was talk talk talking about who knows what, i was imagining our year locked in some epic battle against the board of studies, who kind of resembled those freakish robot-clones from whatever star wars movie it was when hayden christiansen was hot.
anyway. im thinking maybe i should ditch the uni or tafe thing and just become a bum on the street in protest of the whole board-of-studies-being-in-control-of-our-lives-whether-we-like-it-or-not-thing.
ok.
what am i even talking about?
Saturday, August 25, 2007
The Quest for Wentworth
what you've all been waiting for is finally here...the search for wentworth miller...
enjoy:
now watch Behind the Quest, a behind-the-scenes look at the making of the quest for wentworth:
enjoy:
now watch Behind the Quest, a behind-the-scenes look at the making of the quest for wentworth:
Friday, August 24, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
jackiiscrazy.blogspot.com on tv?
so i have a new mission
wait, what the hell is with this font???
oh who knows.
anyway.
according to this song by LazyBoy which has absolutely no credibility whatsoever, 1 in every 4 americans has been on tv.
wait. what?
1 in every 4?
now im no mathematician. im not even sure if thats how you spell mathematician. im not even sure mathematician is a word. BUT there are 300 million people in america right? and 20 million in australia?
so if there are 300 million americans and 1 in every 4 has been on tv, then 75 million americans have been on tv. and there are 20 million australians. thats way less people than in american. so if i live in australia, then arent i 15 times more likely to be on tv than if i lived in america? yes! yes i am!
so, if my calculations are correct (and i do general maths so we all know they will be), i should have been on tv 3.75 times already in my life!
...
and how many times have i been on tv?
oh. that would be. NONE.
and now dont get me wrong. ive come close. we all know about the time those british people came to film our house because nicole kidman lived in it a million years ago (im still waiting for that wedding invitation BY the way, nicole), and i, 15 years old and dressed in tye-died sari pants and blue fluffy slippers, tried everything i could to get on camera. and yes its true that the director asked me (not so politely, i might add) to refrain. but hey. they filmed parts of our laundry. thats right. my BRA was on tv.
so ive come close.
but close isnt good enough. no. im going to be on tv. for real. possibly a guest on rove live. or the ellen degeneres show, i havent decided yet. as long as wentworth miller is guest starring on the same day, sitting in the chair next to me, and wearing as little clothing as is legally possible on national tv, i really dont mind who interviews me.
so i got the idea from rodney to send the preview for The Quest for Wentworth into Rove, and tell him that im willing to do pretty much anything to get on tv/meet wentworth. i also added julias name, since she knows by now that those are the basic terms of our relationship: if i want to do something completely, utterly and ridiculously embarrassing, inappropriate, unconventional or bordering-on-illegal, she'll always do it with me.
(i love you julia :))
so yes. first attempt, rove live. ill keep you posted.
wait, what the hell is with this font???
oh who knows.
anyway.
according to this song by LazyBoy which has absolutely no credibility whatsoever, 1 in every 4 americans has been on tv.
wait. what?
1 in every 4?
now im no mathematician. im not even sure if thats how you spell mathematician. im not even sure mathematician is a word. BUT there are 300 million people in america right? and 20 million in australia?
so if there are 300 million americans and 1 in every 4 has been on tv, then 75 million americans have been on tv. and there are 20 million australians. thats way less people than in american. so if i live in australia, then arent i 15 times more likely to be on tv than if i lived in america? yes! yes i am!
so, if my calculations are correct (and i do general maths so we all know they will be), i should have been on tv 3.75 times already in my life!
...
and how many times have i been on tv?
oh. that would be. NONE.
and now dont get me wrong. ive come close. we all know about the time those british people came to film our house because nicole kidman lived in it a million years ago (im still waiting for that wedding invitation BY the way, nicole), and i, 15 years old and dressed in tye-died sari pants and blue fluffy slippers, tried everything i could to get on camera. and yes its true that the director asked me (not so politely, i might add) to refrain. but hey. they filmed parts of our laundry. thats right. my BRA was on tv.
so ive come close.
but close isnt good enough. no. im going to be on tv. for real. possibly a guest on rove live. or the ellen degeneres show, i havent decided yet. as long as wentworth miller is guest starring on the same day, sitting in the chair next to me, and wearing as little clothing as is legally possible on national tv, i really dont mind who interviews me.
so i got the idea from rodney to send the preview for The Quest for Wentworth into Rove, and tell him that im willing to do pretty much anything to get on tv/meet wentworth. i also added julias name, since she knows by now that those are the basic terms of our relationship: if i want to do something completely, utterly and ridiculously embarrassing, inappropriate, unconventional or bordering-on-illegal, she'll always do it with me.
(i love you julia :))
so yes. first attempt, rove live. ill keep you posted.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
mysuck
so basically myspace is down
...
...
*dies*
damn you tom. you just had to have a fit of technological energy and decide to recode the 'home' section of myspace on the very night when i am sitting home with nothing to do but watch reruns of Gilmore Girls and print out photos of wentworth miller.
sidebar: The Quest For Wentworth!!! the journey begins tomorrow!!!
anywho. today was interesting in the way that only days when you ditch dt to watch Miss Shanahan rapping to the black eyed peas, eat nothing but shapes and coconut, tell Mr Watson he is like a 'surrogate tutor teacher' to you, read the same copy of ok! magazine again and again and draft a letter to Tyra Banks begging her to fly you and your friends to LA to be a guest on her show are interesting.
we played charades in modern. it was pretty much the highlight of the day since miss shanahan was obviously too exhausted to try her usual method of please-please-at-least-pretend-to-be-doing-work-and-ill-supply-you-with-copious-amounts-of-chocolate, and let us do nothing but make idiots of ourselves for the entire lesson.
as usual, we began with what she attempted to make an 'educational' game, and ended up screaming with laughter over the fact that beth was named Urine Baby in celebrity heads.
hmm.
im really going to miss modern.
...
...
*dies*
damn you tom. you just had to have a fit of technological energy and decide to recode the 'home' section of myspace on the very night when i am sitting home with nothing to do but watch reruns of Gilmore Girls and print out photos of wentworth miller.
sidebar: The Quest For Wentworth!!! the journey begins tomorrow!!!
anywho. today was interesting in the way that only days when you ditch dt to watch Miss Shanahan rapping to the black eyed peas, eat nothing but shapes and coconut, tell Mr Watson he is like a 'surrogate tutor teacher' to you, read the same copy of ok! magazine again and again and draft a letter to Tyra Banks begging her to fly you and your friends to LA to be a guest on her show are interesting.
we played charades in modern. it was pretty much the highlight of the day since miss shanahan was obviously too exhausted to try her usual method of please-please-at-least-pretend-to-be-doing-work-and-ill-supply-you-with-copious-amounts-of-chocolate, and let us do nothing but make idiots of ourselves for the entire lesson.
as usual, we began with what she attempted to make an 'educational' game, and ended up screaming with laughter over the fact that beth was named Urine Baby in celebrity heads.
hmm.
im really going to miss modern.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
jackiiscrazy.blogspot.com on nova
so i was driving home this afternoon (technically being driven by catherine because i am too lazy/terrified to actually use my l's and start driving despite the fact that i got them almost 3 months ago), and listening to achmal and cal on nova.
and i know what you're all thinking, and thats probably something about how much of a hypocrit i am for listening to nova on account of the fact that i spend most of my time ranting about how stupid nova is, since they have freaks on in the middle of the day who play hardly any music and only talk about what colour gstring they wore on the weekend, but shut up because 2dayfm was playing a dillion hours of ads and besides, cals accent is hilarious to listen to.
so i listened to nova.
anyway. NOT the point.
the point is that on this fateful afternoon, they just happened to be exploring the world of technological addictions.
and i had my mobile. and they said the number. and i dialed the number, and the phone rang and what followed was so exciting i can only write about it in dialogue form:
phone: (ringing)
voice: hey whats your addiction to technology?
me: im addicted to stalking wentworth miller over the internet!
voice: ok what does that mean?
me: you know? wentworth miller? because he's my husband!!
voice: ok ill give you a call back...(hangs up)
me: ok! (pause) hey did you hang up???
catherine: haha you are the worlds biggest loser
me: shut up no im not
catherine: they hung up on you
me: (ignoring catherine) ok ive got another one!! (dials again)
phone: (ringing)
voice: hey whats your addiction to technology?
me: im addicted to blogging!
voice: ok whats your name?
me: jacki!
voice: and how old are you jacki?
me: 17!!
voice: ok hang on (connects me to the radio)
me: ohmigosh ohmigosh ohmigosh (listens to callers before me)
catherine: (turning radio up)
me: DONT TURN THE RADIO UP!!
catherine: (gives me a look of utter disgust)
(at this point my phone, being my phone, cuts out)
me: what? WHAT? no! NO!!!!!
catherine: it probably costs a fortune anyway
me: i dont care!!
(we arrive home. i run inside and grab the home phone, much more reliable than the pink plastic covered piece of crud that is my mobile)
me: (dialing phone furiously) everyone shut up!
dad and catherine: (looking confused) we didnt say anything!
me: nova! nova!
voice: hey whats your addiction to technology?
me: my phone cut out and i called before and i was the blogger, i like blogging, let me back on!!!
voice: name?
me: jacki, im 17, im addicted to blogging
voice: ok hang on (connects me to radio)
me: woo! im back on! im back on!
achmal: we'll take some more callers now, who are all in with a chance to win tickets to see justin timberlake, jacki, whats your addiction to technology?
me: i can win tickets to justin timberlake? OHMIGOSH!!
achmal: whats your addiction?
me: oh im addicted to blogging! i blog all the time
achmal: like where you write on the internet? why whats the appeal?
me: like i can write anything about anything and people listen.
achmal: yeah thats pretty -
me: (interrupting) and like i went to this 18th once and there were people there who read my blog and i didnt know them! so theres the stalking factor as well. you guys should read it. www.jackiiscrazy.blogspot.com
cal: yeah maybe sometime hahaha, so next caller...
and so on and so forth
and even though i didnt win the justin timberlake tickets (which went to some lady whose phone could tell her the name of the songs playing on the radio if she held it up to the speaker), it was totally worth it since now pretty much all of sydney knows my blog address.
im on my way to national domination, i can feel it.
oh. and i also entered a competition to win a walk on role in Home and Away. it was an eventful afternoon.
and i know what you're all thinking, and thats probably something about how much of a hypocrit i am for listening to nova on account of the fact that i spend most of my time ranting about how stupid nova is, since they have freaks on in the middle of the day who play hardly any music and only talk about what colour gstring they wore on the weekend, but shut up because 2dayfm was playing a dillion hours of ads and besides, cals accent is hilarious to listen to.
so i listened to nova.
anyway. NOT the point.
the point is that on this fateful afternoon, they just happened to be exploring the world of technological addictions.
and i had my mobile. and they said the number. and i dialed the number, and the phone rang and what followed was so exciting i can only write about it in dialogue form:
phone: (ringing)
voice: hey whats your addiction to technology?
me: im addicted to stalking wentworth miller over the internet!
voice: ok what does that mean?
me: you know? wentworth miller? because he's my husband!!
voice: ok ill give you a call back...(hangs up)
me: ok! (pause) hey did you hang up???
catherine: haha you are the worlds biggest loser
me: shut up no im not
catherine: they hung up on you
me: (ignoring catherine) ok ive got another one!! (dials again)
phone: (ringing)
voice: hey whats your addiction to technology?
me: im addicted to blogging!
voice: ok whats your name?
me: jacki!
voice: and how old are you jacki?
me: 17!!
voice: ok hang on (connects me to the radio)
me: ohmigosh ohmigosh ohmigosh (listens to callers before me)
catherine: (turning radio up)
me: DONT TURN THE RADIO UP!!
catherine: (gives me a look of utter disgust)
(at this point my phone, being my phone, cuts out)
me: what? WHAT? no! NO!!!!!
catherine: it probably costs a fortune anyway
me: i dont care!!
(we arrive home. i run inside and grab the home phone, much more reliable than the pink plastic covered piece of crud that is my mobile)
me: (dialing phone furiously) everyone shut up!
dad and catherine: (looking confused) we didnt say anything!
me: nova! nova!
voice: hey whats your addiction to technology?
me: my phone cut out and i called before and i was the blogger, i like blogging, let me back on!!!
voice: name?
me: jacki, im 17, im addicted to blogging
voice: ok hang on (connects me to radio)
me: woo! im back on! im back on!
achmal: we'll take some more callers now, who are all in with a chance to win tickets to see justin timberlake, jacki, whats your addiction to technology?
me: i can win tickets to justin timberlake? OHMIGOSH!!
achmal: whats your addiction?
me: oh im addicted to blogging! i blog all the time
achmal: like where you write on the internet? why whats the appeal?
me: like i can write anything about anything and people listen.
achmal: yeah thats pretty -
me: (interrupting) and like i went to this 18th once and there were people there who read my blog and i didnt know them! so theres the stalking factor as well. you guys should read it. www.jackiiscrazy.blogspot.com
cal: yeah maybe sometime hahaha, so next caller...
and so on and so forth
and even though i didnt win the justin timberlake tickets (which went to some lady whose phone could tell her the name of the songs playing on the radio if she held it up to the speaker), it was totally worth it since now pretty much all of sydney knows my blog address.
im on my way to national domination, i can feel it.
oh. and i also entered a competition to win a walk on role in Home and Away. it was an eventful afternoon.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Happy 3rd Birthday Blog
So as many of you wont know, on account of the fact that its the type of thing that only someone who is sad enough to stalk themselves (like me) would know, today marks the third anniversary of my blog.
thats right.
three fateful years ago, on this very day, i discovered the beauty, the wonder, the magnificence, the way to publish every insane thought in my twisted mind so that they might be available for not just my friends (or rather, the people who put up with all the insane thoughts in my twisted mind), but for every person out there who might be equal to myself in utter derangement.
...
and while unfortunately im yet to find someone as unbalanced as myself (perhaps with the exception of jimi), its nevertheless a comfort to know that there is always someone who will listen to what i think about when im on the toilet.
so, in celebration of three faithful years of blogging (ok maybe not so faithful in the windows-live-space era), i give you:
thats right.
three fateful years ago, on this very day, i discovered the beauty, the wonder, the magnificence, the way to publish every insane thought in my twisted mind so that they might be available for not just my friends (or rather, the people who put up with all the insane thoughts in my twisted mind), but for every person out there who might be equal to myself in utter derangement.
...
and while unfortunately im yet to find someone as unbalanced as myself (perhaps with the exception of jimi), its nevertheless a comfort to know that there is always someone who will listen to what i think about when im on the toilet.
so, in celebration of three faithful years of blogging (ok maybe not so faithful in the windows-live-space era), i give you:
Ode to Blog: a timeline
August, 2004: My blog opens with a bang (some rambling about Jessica Simpson and how she goes camping with louis vuitton bags that ARENT fake), followed by summaries of my many, many, many, many, many embarrassing moments
September, 2004: I explore the world of guessing games, the possibility that our group is falling apart (oh, year nine), poo, wee, whoever invented the word 'extraordinary', and the idea of teachers having secret identities (Re: miss monday related to me?? WE HAD THE SAME STICKY TAPE DISPENSER)
October, 2004: I use my blog to publicise several words which I have invented. I also discover that sunblock only works if you apply it every ten seconds, and experience probably the worst sunburn of my life. Photos of my cat as a kitten. Photos of my dogs ass (only on the internet would i be accepted)
November, 2004 - January 2005: Unexpected hiatus. Was it possible that I spent time doing actually work, rather than blogging?? Was it possible I put something in my life ahead of my blog?? Was it pos - No. no. I was just lazy.
February, 2005: Two words. Bakers Delight. The well-known franchise was soon to consumer my entire life (including my eating habits).
March, 2005: I turned 15. Kiera and I made an impression on our community service employees. (Re: we attended 2 times out of the required 13). I attempt to create a name for Beth, Mel, Kiera and whoever elses band that played in the Senior School Spectacular ("Mel and the Squares"?? GENIUS!!)
April, 2005: I post a list of lifes most unanswerable questions. Nobody boths to read them, let alone answer them. I apologise.
May, 2005: I attempt taking a leaf out of Beth's blog and try to write a 'deep' blog. I end up ranting about Hilary Duff movies, and sound horrendously idiotic. Again, I apologise.
June, 2005 - January 2006: Ah yes. The age of Windows Live Space. I believe mine still exists, if anyones interested in a large collection of my photos and memos about the various ways in which my teachers irritate me.
February, 2006: I make a reluctant return to blogger.com. Probably the best decision I ever made.
March, 2006: I turn 16. I invent the 'How Jacki Are You?' quiz. More importantly: I discover Miss Shanahan.
April, 2006: The obsession with Shanny continues, as does my stalking. I introduce 'shower thoughts' and 'that time i met...' (stemming from an interview between myself, and jack and rose from titanic)
May, 2006: I join general maths. I love general maths. Marissa dies on the OC, and I feel the need to blog about it incesantly. I invent the concept of armour made out of pubic hair, fall in love with Branwell Bronte and for some reason find the need to relate everything in my life to Home and Away.
June, 2006: I write a song for Miss Shanahan, and express my utter disgust that I wasn't invited to Nicole Kidmans wedding. I am repeatedly attacked by magpies in the park. Miss Shanahan dances crazily to Will Smith. The era of writing blogs in dialogue form begins, and I find myself head-over-heels in love with Ewan Mcgregor.
July, 2006: I finally reveal my obsession with Big Brother (its a sickness. i knew then, and i know now). Hannah finally becomes a woman, and I have the tampon-shaped-cake photos to prove it!! I have alot of fun with photos, especially ones of famous people, which I have superimposed my own head into. Beth, Casey and I try to trick people into believing we are in Emu Plains, and Ivan Milat becomes a bit part of all of our lives.
August, 2006: I draw what I believe is a very believable connection between Harry Potter and the Holocaust, and also discover that there really is no need to fear Voldemort seeings he is NEARLY 70 YEARS OLD. People appreciate reading arguments me and my sister have. Igssa Gym and Whalley takes over many of our lives, I suffered through economics, we all actually enjoyed modern history, and I discover the wonder of 'Top Ten'.
September, 2006: The ridiculous arguments between me and Catherine continue (me winning everytime, of course), and I express my disappointment that nothing has been named after me yet. Mr Obriens fish, Titanic, dies, and we hold a ceremony next to Vandy. I also discovered the entertainment in publishing photos of Ewan Mcgregor and Nicole Kidman, with my head over Nicole's. Steve Irwin dies. I discover a large number of amusing (and equally terrifying) obscure items in my school bag, and IVAN MILAT HAS A MYSPACE.
October, 2006: The obsession with Ewan Mcgregor continues, and I display determination to find connections between him and myself. Julia and I insult an old woman on the train by accident, and I think I'm being stalked by the granny-killer. Last ever Igssa gym, which Shanny attends, and fails to gain us entry to the foam pit (extreme dissapointment). I am attacked again, this time by a band of spiders. Julia and I begin our war over who has been attacked by spiders the most times (both of us still maintain that we won).
November, 2006: Ellen and Jane introduce me to the idea of a one-eyed cat foetus, an image which haunts me to this day. DT becomes 'the bludgiest subject ever'. Vandy leaves Vandy forever, the school network crashes, Jimi becomes a part of all of our lives, and I BECOME A WOMAN.
December, 2006: Catherine and I continue to argue as only sisters will. I am viciously attacked by another spider, this time while decorating the Christmas tree. Beth begs for blog. I satisfy her cravings.
January, 2007 - February 2007: JULIA AND I MEET ERIC BANA. (I also experience falling into the toilet for the first time in my life).
March, 2007: I turn 17. I complain about turning 17 because 'at 16 you get to have sex and at 18 you get to drink alcohol, but what do you get to do at 17? huh?'. I express my disgust at exams and exam timetables. Jimi continues to stalk me, I begin dedicating blogs to people, Mrs Fletcher becomes known as 'Dame', Mr Watson becomes 'T Watty' and I develop a theory that the history staff are trying to kill me.
April, 2007: Catherine and I argue on Anzac Day. Prison Break becomes a highlight in my life. I love Gemma, and express an utter disgust for wholemeal bread. Wikipedia is the bane of my existance. Miss Shanahan and I argue over who is going to marry which star of Prison Break. It's all over for Ewan Mcgregor.
May, 2007: Four words. Australia's Next Top Model. The tv series consumes most of our lives. I finally get my l's (was it really that long ago???). We have exams. Beth gets RSI. I experience what still remains to be the best day of my life. I experience horror in the realisation that Prison Break will end soon and I will have nothing to adore for 3 or 4 months. Miss Shanahan soon comes to my rescue, promising me the series on DVD if i complete my History Extension major work, and I fall head over heels in love with Wentworth Miller.
June, 2007: I introduce my mother to Prison Break, with hilarious results. The obsession with Wentworth Miller continues to a degree that not even the Ewan phase reached, and the highlight of the month is my post about Jessica Ann Morton Healy Q.
July, 2007: I develop a frightening addiction for diet coke. Catherine and I continue to argue, this time involving mum. I plan my overseas trip next year around Wentworth (amongst other factors), and english becomes 'The Worst Subject Of All Time'.
August, 2007: Trials go to the backburner as I realise my blog is about to turn 3 years old.
And there you have it! Now let me get back to failing modern...
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
modules. oh dear.
if mrs fletcher could see me now, im pretty sure she wouldnt hesitate to remove my face from my head, on account of the fact that while the other studious students of roseville college have spent the last 24 hours working diligently in preparation for the upcoming modules exam (10 hours to go), ive done what pretty much amounts to consuming a whole bag of crispy mnms, uploading every photo of wentworth miller i have onto my phone, and watching Titanic.
twice.
whatever.
ive resigned myself to the idea that if i dont know it by now, ill never know it.
actually thats a lie. ive resigned myself to the idea that i dont know it, and no longer care about knowing it, because shakespeare is a dick.
whatever.
you know if you think about it, its really mrs fletchers fault that im going to fail. if she didnt have such a soft voice, i wouldnt find it so hard to stay awake in class, and then i would actually know what im talking about!! ok, maybe not, but at least i would know who yeats is. so yeah. thanks alot mrs fletcher. or rather, whatever made mrs fletchers voice so soft. which im guessing is something to do with dna or chromosomes or some scientific stuff. so yeah, thanks alot science. or rather, On Giants Shoulders, since thats related to science and english.
And yeah, it doesnt really make sense to be blaming On Giants Shoulders for mrs fletchers soft voice, but ive gotten to that point during an exam period where unless you're blaming On Giants Shoulders for all your life problems, your head explodes.
so let me.
well whatever.
also, might i add that tomorrow marks the day that ive been blogging for 3 years?
prepare for festivities
if mrs fletcher could see me now, im pretty sure she wouldnt hesitate to remove my face from my head, on account of the fact that while the other studious students of roseville college have spent the last 24 hours working diligently in preparation for the upcoming modules exam (10 hours to go), ive done what pretty much amounts to consuming a whole bag of crispy mnms, uploading every photo of wentworth miller i have onto my phone, and watching Titanic.
twice.
whatever.
ive resigned myself to the idea that if i dont know it by now, ill never know it.
actually thats a lie. ive resigned myself to the idea that i dont know it, and no longer care about knowing it, because shakespeare is a dick.
whatever.
you know if you think about it, its really mrs fletchers fault that im going to fail. if she didnt have such a soft voice, i wouldnt find it so hard to stay awake in class, and then i would actually know what im talking about!! ok, maybe not, but at least i would know who yeats is. so yeah. thanks alot mrs fletcher. or rather, whatever made mrs fletchers voice so soft. which im guessing is something to do with dna or chromosomes or some scientific stuff. so yeah, thanks alot science. or rather, On Giants Shoulders, since thats related to science and english.
And yeah, it doesnt really make sense to be blaming On Giants Shoulders for mrs fletchers soft voice, but ive gotten to that point during an exam period where unless you're blaming On Giants Shoulders for all your life problems, your head explodes.
so let me.
well whatever.
also, might i add that tomorrow marks the day that ive been blogging for 3 years?
prepare for festivities
Monday, August 06, 2007
the english exam
and what a treat it was.
but seriously.
no.
the highlight was probably me actually finishing in time to sit back and remember sarah's promise that she would cut off her own tongue and staple it to Mr Mackay's tie if the essay question required more than one additional text of our own choosing. fortunately for Mr Mackay, it didnt. not that i had one anyway.
actually i almost wanted them to ask for 2, so that i could throw something completely obscure and inappropriate in there to give the teachers a laugh. not that i havent already given them a laugh with most of my past assessments. and not that i wont be giving them more laughs, seeings as im using Prison Break as one of my power play texts because i feel an obligation to, on account of the fact that i will one day marry Wentworth Miller.
in hindsight i suppose it wasnt terribly bad. at least i have to keep telling myself that on account of the fact that Paper 2 is going to be horrendous on a level that will make Paper 1 look like a year 7 geography project.
whatever.
bring on yates. yeats. yaets?
yep. im in trouble.
but seriously.
no.
the highlight was probably me actually finishing in time to sit back and remember sarah's promise that she would cut off her own tongue and staple it to Mr Mackay's tie if the essay question required more than one additional text of our own choosing. fortunately for Mr Mackay, it didnt. not that i had one anyway.
actually i almost wanted them to ask for 2, so that i could throw something completely obscure and inappropriate in there to give the teachers a laugh. not that i havent already given them a laugh with most of my past assessments. and not that i wont be giving them more laughs, seeings as im using Prison Break as one of my power play texts because i feel an obligation to, on account of the fact that i will one day marry Wentworth Miller.
in hindsight i suppose it wasnt terribly bad. at least i have to keep telling myself that on account of the fact that Paper 2 is going to be horrendous on a level that will make Paper 1 look like a year 7 geography project.
whatever.
bring on yates. yeats. yaets?
yep. im in trouble.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
procrastination was totally worth it
so rather than studying ancient last night (which, looking back, was probably what i should have been doing, but what're you gonna do?), i decided to sit down with catherine and mum and watch the final of big brother.
i know what you're thinking.
big brother? jacki, thats low, even for you.
i know! im sorry! but anyone who's anyone knows that i have the most addictive personality in the world, and i cant watch or eat or listen to anything without becoming instantly addicted to it. so big brother is a big problem for me. its not that i want to watch it. i cant stop!
anyway, turns out it was totally worth probably failing ancient for, on account of the fact that i just happened to tune in at the exact same moment that someone from the crowd decided to hurl a gold object (which looked suspiciously like a stiletto heel) at gretel killeens head.
oh. oh.
see this is why i love live tv. and big brother. in no other circumstance would i be able to drown the sorrow and pain of trials in the fact that I JUST SAW GRETEL KILLEEN GET HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A GOLD SHOE. classic.
and you have to love the talented camera men, who switched angles and started filming the irish DJ just as miss killeen opened her mouth to crack a giant shit at whoever threw the high heel.
you know what all of a sudden i dont feel so bad for watching big brother.
hmm.
funny how that worked out.
i know what you're thinking.
big brother? jacki, thats low, even for you.
i know! im sorry! but anyone who's anyone knows that i have the most addictive personality in the world, and i cant watch or eat or listen to anything without becoming instantly addicted to it. so big brother is a big problem for me. its not that i want to watch it. i cant stop!
anyway, turns out it was totally worth probably failing ancient for, on account of the fact that i just happened to tune in at the exact same moment that someone from the crowd decided to hurl a gold object (which looked suspiciously like a stiletto heel) at gretel killeens head.
oh. oh.
see this is why i love live tv. and big brother. in no other circumstance would i be able to drown the sorrow and pain of trials in the fact that I JUST SAW GRETEL KILLEEN GET HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A GOLD SHOE. classic.
and you have to love the talented camera men, who switched angles and started filming the irish DJ just as miss killeen opened her mouth to crack a giant shit at whoever threw the high heel.
you know what all of a sudden i dont feel so bad for watching big brother.
hmm.
funny how that worked out.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
i mean, when you really think about it, there is no point in english.
no point at all.
when you do french, what do you do? you learn how to speak french.
when you do german, what do you do? you learn how to speak german.
when you do japanese, what do you do? well, if you're me, then you fail. but for everybody else, you LEARN HOW TO SPEAK JAPANESE!
i know how to speak english. i know how to read english. i do english good.
so why do i need to know the ways in which the values from some mouldy old jane austen story from twenty thousand years ago are translated into a semi-modern society through the use of characterisation and symbols and whatever other crap it says in the handout.
i weep. english sucks. it wouldnt suck so much if the texts we did were actually half-decent, but as it is, they arent. they suck. and not just the regular kind of suck. the suckiest kind of suck.
and its not like i havent tried to improve the situation. oh no. i sat at my computer for no less than 5 hours on sunday attempting to bend an episode of prison break towards the 'power play' elective. Then after patting myself on the back for doing "a whole 5 hours of study!" i realised id been doing less actual studying and more actual drooling over wentworth miller. again.
ah, such is life.
i would blog more, but laziness, as per usual, has got the better of me.
no point at all.
when you do french, what do you do? you learn how to speak french.
when you do german, what do you do? you learn how to speak german.
when you do japanese, what do you do? well, if you're me, then you fail. but for everybody else, you LEARN HOW TO SPEAK JAPANESE!
i know how to speak english. i know how to read english. i do english good.
so why do i need to know the ways in which the values from some mouldy old jane austen story from twenty thousand years ago are translated into a semi-modern society through the use of characterisation and symbols and whatever other crap it says in the handout.
i weep. english sucks. it wouldnt suck so much if the texts we did were actually half-decent, but as it is, they arent. they suck. and not just the regular kind of suck. the suckiest kind of suck.
and its not like i havent tried to improve the situation. oh no. i sat at my computer for no less than 5 hours on sunday attempting to bend an episode of prison break towards the 'power play' elective. Then after patting myself on the back for doing "a whole 5 hours of study!" i realised id been doing less actual studying and more actual drooling over wentworth miller. again.
ah, such is life.
i would blog more, but laziness, as per usual, has got the better of me.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
harry potter - NOT a spoiler
although having just finished the seventh book, i felt it was now safe to explore the world of so called 'harry-hackers', and find the infamous internet spoiler for myself.
and so i did.
and then i read it.
and then i laughed.
for all of those who HAVENT finished the book yet, i can say only this: there is no need to worry.
of all the things i have read so far, only one thing is true, and its so insignificant that you probably all knew it anyway. the rest is complete crap.
and now onto my rant about people who attempt to spoil harry potter.
why.
why why would you? i cant even fathom the idea. and i can fathom heaps of things. oh yeah. i fathom. i fathom good.
i can even fathom the idea of not liking harry potter. oh, i pity you greatly should you find the need to diss harry and his wonderous band of followers, but i can at least fathom the idea.
but people who spoil it? i mean, you obviously like it, otherwise you wouldnt go to so much effort as to illegal obtain a copy, read the whole thing in less than 24 hours, and then post the ending on the internet for millions of unsuspecting victims to fall upon. you wouldnt go to so much effort if you didnt even like harry would you?
WOULD YOU?
and if you like harry potter, obviously you know the joy and wonder that it brings others who love harry potter. so why would you want to ruin that? why? why why? its just cruel. its just sad. its just mean.
its just rude.
if harry potter were real (and i havent completely ruled out that possibility yet), i would suggest to my good friend j.k rowling to write the next book (should there be a next book) in a special kind of ink, with special kinds of qualities, so that if someone reads it and attempts to spoil it for someone else, their eyes go so cross-eyed that they cant read and their mouth pushes up into their nose so they have to breathe out of their ears and they cant talk about harry potter ever again.
yes.
yes i think that would be sufficient.
so to the spoilers.
um. can you not?
and so i did.
and then i read it.
and then i laughed.
for all of those who HAVENT finished the book yet, i can say only this: there is no need to worry.
of all the things i have read so far, only one thing is true, and its so insignificant that you probably all knew it anyway. the rest is complete crap.
and now onto my rant about people who attempt to spoil harry potter.
why.
why why would you? i cant even fathom the idea. and i can fathom heaps of things. oh yeah. i fathom. i fathom good.
i can even fathom the idea of not liking harry potter. oh, i pity you greatly should you find the need to diss harry and his wonderous band of followers, but i can at least fathom the idea.
but people who spoil it? i mean, you obviously like it, otherwise you wouldnt go to so much effort as to illegal obtain a copy, read the whole thing in less than 24 hours, and then post the ending on the internet for millions of unsuspecting victims to fall upon. you wouldnt go to so much effort if you didnt even like harry would you?
WOULD YOU?
and if you like harry potter, obviously you know the joy and wonder that it brings others who love harry potter. so why would you want to ruin that? why? why why? its just cruel. its just sad. its just mean.
its just rude.
if harry potter were real (and i havent completely ruled out that possibility yet), i would suggest to my good friend j.k rowling to write the next book (should there be a next book) in a special kind of ink, with special kinds of qualities, so that if someone reads it and attempts to spoil it for someone else, their eyes go so cross-eyed that they cant read and their mouth pushes up into their nose so they have to breathe out of their ears and they cant talk about harry potter ever again.
yes.
yes i think that would be sufficient.
so to the spoilers.
um. can you not?
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
my love?
sigh.
i weep.
for at this very moment i should be watching prison break.
why arent i, i hear my fellow prison break fans asking??
well i guess you arent really prison break fans. because if you were, you would know perfectly well that since prison break finished last week and wont be coming back until AT LEAST SEPTEMBER, i have NOTHING to watch.
nothing.
no wentworth.
well thats not true. i do have season 2 on dvd. but alas, for i am continually mocked for having watched every episode at least three times (the season final is actually standing on eighteen times at the moment), so im trying to retain whats left of my dignity by restraining myself from..
screw you guys, im going to watch it.
i weep.
for at this very moment i should be watching prison break.
why arent i, i hear my fellow prison break fans asking??
well i guess you arent really prison break fans. because if you were, you would know perfectly well that since prison break finished last week and wont be coming back until AT LEAST SEPTEMBER, i have NOTHING to watch.
nothing.
no wentworth.
well thats not true. i do have season 2 on dvd. but alas, for i am continually mocked for having watched every episode at least three times (the season final is actually standing on eighteen times at the moment), so im trying to retain whats left of my dignity by restraining myself from..
screw you guys, im going to watch it.
back to school
a little delayed im afraid, but a fairly average back-to-school so far, though not so interesting. probably the highpoints were the announcement of a year 12/teacher 'it takes two' (as opposed to dancing with the staff), the mad rush to finish dt/art major works (strangely entertaining seeings as i no longer care), and the addition of rather flamboyant pair of fluorescent pink boots to miss shanahans wardrobe.
the only negative thing is that im still running on my holiday sleeping/eating pattern, which basically consisted of eating whenever i wanted, and sleeping whenever i wanted (usually between 4 in the morning and 230 in the afternoon)
so there i was at 1am on tuesday morning, 5 hours before i would have to get up and go to school, standing in the freezing kitchen cooking myself dinner, trying to ignore the constant calls of 'jacki shut UP!' coming from my parents bedroom.
sigh.
i am so unappreciated.
on a more positive note, in a mere 10 hours, i will be free from the hideousness that is my major work!!
the only negative thing is that im still running on my holiday sleeping/eating pattern, which basically consisted of eating whenever i wanted, and sleeping whenever i wanted (usually between 4 in the morning and 230 in the afternoon)
so there i was at 1am on tuesday morning, 5 hours before i would have to get up and go to school, standing in the freezing kitchen cooking myself dinner, trying to ignore the constant calls of 'jacki shut UP!' coming from my parents bedroom.
sigh.
i am so unappreciated.
on a more positive note, in a mere 10 hours, i will be free from the hideousness that is my major work!!
Monday, July 16, 2007
the OC
so i was just blogging about julia. it was fun.
anyway then i decided to look at julias old blog, which was also fun, because there were lots of blogs about all the crazy crap we used to get up to when we were crazy youngens, anyway most of the posts were actually about the oc, so then i decided to blog about the oc because i am lame and unoriginal and i cant think of what to blog about for myself, and isnt there something called postmodernism which means you cant write anything that hasnt already been written about, so theres no point in trying to be original anyway?
so yes.
so while you might think im actually plagerising (or however you spell that hideous word) Julia's ideas, im actually just educating you all on postmodernism, so mr watson, you should buck up and give me an extension history medal or something.
anyway. oc.
so yeah, basically since arena is the most awesome channel ever, they play the oc, and they just started playing season 3 (after repeating the first 2 seasons, oh, i dono, one DILLION times), and since i LOVE season 3, i was all, 'woo yeah, season 3, im so there', and got all excited about being able to watch the oc again, but then arena decided that theyre not going to put the oc on til 11.15pm.
sigh.
so now i have to sit around and procrastinate for like a whole FORTY MINUTES waiting for the oc to come on.
yep.
in other news, did you know theres a prison break magazine? and i am not even kidding. who knew there were people out there as freakishly addicted to prison break as i am? not i. not i.
anyway then i decided to look at julias old blog, which was also fun, because there were lots of blogs about all the crazy crap we used to get up to when we were crazy youngens, anyway most of the posts were actually about the oc, so then i decided to blog about the oc because i am lame and unoriginal and i cant think of what to blog about for myself, and isnt there something called postmodernism which means you cant write anything that hasnt already been written about, so theres no point in trying to be original anyway?
so yes.
so while you might think im actually plagerising (or however you spell that hideous word) Julia's ideas, im actually just educating you all on postmodernism, so mr watson, you should buck up and give me an extension history medal or something.
anyway. oc.
so yeah, basically since arena is the most awesome channel ever, they play the oc, and they just started playing season 3 (after repeating the first 2 seasons, oh, i dono, one DILLION times), and since i LOVE season 3, i was all, 'woo yeah, season 3, im so there', and got all excited about being able to watch the oc again, but then arena decided that theyre not going to put the oc on til 11.15pm.
sigh.
so now i have to sit around and procrastinate for like a whole FORTY MINUTES waiting for the oc to come on.
yep.
in other news, did you know theres a prison break magazine? and i am not even kidding. who knew there were people out there as freakishly addicted to prison break as i am? not i. not i.
eric with the hornable horn
so basically julia is the luckiest person in the world on account of the fact that SHE GOT HER P'S and then right after that HER PARENTS BOUGHT HER A SEXY SEXIFIED SEX-MACHINE OF A CAR which is named eric.
after eric bana. who is also a sexy sexified sex-machine.
anyway.
and so by default, i am also the luckiest person in the world on account of the fact that i now have someone to chauferre me around sydney and not get angry at me when i ask for lifts, like all the other people i employ to drive me around (cough JESS cough CATHERINE)
yeah.
so basically we, the three of us, julia eric and myself (and also julias front passenger seat which i have named sabrina) are destined to have many misadventures, not that we havent already had some.
basically the main issue is that julia and i never have any idea where we are going (proved by that time we tried to drive to macquarie and ended up in epping, or that time we tried to drive home from macquarie and ended up in pymbal), and we are too obsessed with erics hornable horn, and also i am the most annoyingly distracting person in the universe and its a miracle that i havent caused a car crash to date.
but yes. what was the point of this blog? oh yes, julias car is excellent. not as excellent as julia, but there is definitely a satisfactory level of excellence.
after eric bana. who is also a sexy sexified sex-machine.
anyway.
and so by default, i am also the luckiest person in the world on account of the fact that i now have someone to chauferre me around sydney and not get angry at me when i ask for lifts, like all the other people i employ to drive me around (cough JESS cough CATHERINE)
yeah.
so basically we, the three of us, julia eric and myself (and also julias front passenger seat which i have named sabrina) are destined to have many misadventures, not that we havent already had some.
basically the main issue is that julia and i never have any idea where we are going (proved by that time we tried to drive to macquarie and ended up in epping, or that time we tried to drive home from macquarie and ended up in pymbal), and we are too obsessed with erics hornable horn, and also i am the most annoyingly distracting person in the universe and its a miracle that i havent caused a car crash to date.
but yes. what was the point of this blog? oh yes, julias car is excellent. not as excellent as julia, but there is definitely a satisfactory level of excellence.
an ode
ode to tim clark
tim clark is awesome
tim clark is cool
tim clark reads my blog
tim clark plays pool
tim clark is quite tall
tim clark has hair
tim clark is tim clark
tim clark is fair
if tim clark were batman
he'd save all our lives
if tim clark were here now
id give him high fives
tim clark is happening
tim clark aint bad
no one's like tim clark
hes just way too rad
so basically, i just had the crappiest shower of my life
and i know what you're thinking
you're thinking 'how can any shower on earth possibly be any worse than that time jacki had a shower and the hot and cold labels on the taps were switched, so she didnt know what was going on and ended up scalding her entire body?'
well you're right. this shower wasnt that bad.
but it was still pretty bad.
first of all, the shower radio ran out of batteries. which might not seem like such a big deal to you normal, regular, non-freak, stands-completely-still-the-entire-time-theyre-in-the-shower people, but listen.
im not normal. im not regular. im a freak, and i certainly dont stand still the entire time im in the shower.
oh no. no no. i like to get down. i like to boogie. i like to get my freaking groove on, since dancing in the shower is pretty much the only exercise i get.
but how am i supposed to get my freak on without my shower radio, my precious source of water-proof music?
so there i was, sulkingly dancing, music-less, in the shower, when i realised...
hey. the soap isnt in the soap dish.
where, oh where, could that pesky soap be?
as i was wondering this, i stepped on the soap, (which had, in case you were wondering, fallen onto the floor, and oh-so-conveniently slid under my foot), and fell backwards through the door, hitting my elbow on the towel rack and my head on the sink, before collapsing into a bedraggled heap on the floor.
anyway after i managed to untangle my limbs, i got back into the shower, finished washing as quickly as i could, and got out, only to find that someone left my very very expensive (at $8.45) dove body lotion which i love oh so very much OPEN so that it had DRIED UP and i couldnt put any on and begin smelling like a spring-fresh petal.
so basically i was deprived of my favourite part of shower time.
anyway, i had to put on some body shop oceanus body lotion, which im assuming is from the stone age, since i found it in the cupboard under the sink, and anyone who's anyone knows that catherine and i never look in the cupboard under the sink on account of the fact that we put things in the cupboard under the sink for a reason, and that reason is that they smell like a graveyard.
so now im cold, cranky, unfit (from my lack of dancing in the shower), and i also smell like a graveyard.
crappy, crappy shower
and i know what you're thinking
you're thinking 'how can any shower on earth possibly be any worse than that time jacki had a shower and the hot and cold labels on the taps were switched, so she didnt know what was going on and ended up scalding her entire body?'
well you're right. this shower wasnt that bad.
but it was still pretty bad.
first of all, the shower radio ran out of batteries. which might not seem like such a big deal to you normal, regular, non-freak, stands-completely-still-the-entire-time-theyre-in-the-shower people, but listen.
im not normal. im not regular. im a freak, and i certainly dont stand still the entire time im in the shower.
oh no. no no. i like to get down. i like to boogie. i like to get my freaking groove on, since dancing in the shower is pretty much the only exercise i get.
but how am i supposed to get my freak on without my shower radio, my precious source of water-proof music?
so there i was, sulkingly dancing, music-less, in the shower, when i realised...
hey. the soap isnt in the soap dish.
where, oh where, could that pesky soap be?
as i was wondering this, i stepped on the soap, (which had, in case you were wondering, fallen onto the floor, and oh-so-conveniently slid under my foot), and fell backwards through the door, hitting my elbow on the towel rack and my head on the sink, before collapsing into a bedraggled heap on the floor.
anyway after i managed to untangle my limbs, i got back into the shower, finished washing as quickly as i could, and got out, only to find that someone left my very very expensive (at $8.45) dove body lotion which i love oh so very much OPEN so that it had DRIED UP and i couldnt put any on and begin smelling like a spring-fresh petal.
so basically i was deprived of my favourite part of shower time.
anyway, i had to put on some body shop oceanus body lotion, which im assuming is from the stone age, since i found it in the cupboard under the sink, and anyone who's anyone knows that catherine and i never look in the cupboard under the sink on account of the fact that we put things in the cupboard under the sink for a reason, and that reason is that they smell like a graveyard.
so now im cold, cranky, unfit (from my lack of dancing in the shower), and i also smell like a graveyard.
crappy, crappy shower
Thursday, July 12, 2007
toilet thoughts#1
you know what i really hate?
starting the new role of toilet paper
seriously
its hell!
no matter what brand or colour, or how many plys, its like, the worst part of my day, always
always
ALWAYS
you know what i mean?
on a new toilet role, the edge of the paper is always glued down with that weird crusty stuff, and you have to pull it off to 'get the ball rolling' as they say?
well whenever i try to pull it off, i either pull off the wrong side, so that i only get ONE MEASLY SQUARE OF TOILET PAPER to use, or i pull too much off, so all the pieces of toilet paper have huge holes ripped in them and everyone gets all shirty with me
i mean really
its horrible!
why would the toilet paper people do this to me? they seemed so nice! they have such a cute puppy! its just not right!
well i say we all take a stand against starting the new role of toilet paper, so whenever there only a new role to use, you just have to grin and bare it my friends.
just grin and bare it.
starting the new role of toilet paper
seriously
its hell!
no matter what brand or colour, or how many plys, its like, the worst part of my day, always
always
ALWAYS
you know what i mean?
on a new toilet role, the edge of the paper is always glued down with that weird crusty stuff, and you have to pull it off to 'get the ball rolling' as they say?
well whenever i try to pull it off, i either pull off the wrong side, so that i only get ONE MEASLY SQUARE OF TOILET PAPER to use, or i pull too much off, so all the pieces of toilet paper have huge holes ripped in them and everyone gets all shirty with me
i mean really
its horrible!
why would the toilet paper people do this to me? they seemed so nice! they have such a cute puppy! its just not right!
well i say we all take a stand against starting the new role of toilet paper, so whenever there only a new role to use, you just have to grin and bare it my friends.
just grin and bare it.
catherine and i argue...again
another of those arguments you love oh-so-much:
the current situation: i, having arrived home late from the movies, have missed the first 10 minutes of prison break. luckily, i have it already on dvd, and so plan to have a shower for the next 50 minutes, then get out and watch it AFTER it finishes on tv, so i dont risk seeing anything on tv before i watch it on dvd. if that makes sense.
anyway.
jacki: (shielding eyes from the tv and running up the stairs) dont tell me! dont tell me! dont tell me!
catherine: what?
jacki: dont tell me whats happening, im going to watch the dvd after!
catherine: why dont you just watch it now?
jacki: ive missed the first 10 minutes, and everybody knows if you miss the first 10 minutes, you may as well miss the whole thing!
catherine: shhh!
jacki: what?
catherine: shhh!
jacki: pfft (walks off)
(i returned in the ad break)
jacki: ok now its an ad i can talk to you
catherine: jacki shut up!
jacki: why? its just an ad!
catherine: what do you want?
jacki: can you make sure you watch the bit at the very end that tells us when they're going to start showing season 3?
catherine: why cant you just watch it?
jacki: because im having a shower and then watching the dvd!
catherine: so you'll see it on the dvd!
jacki: no i wont, because the dvd is american tv!
catherine: well then!
jacki: so will you tell me!?
catherine: tell you what?
jacki: when its coming back!!
catherine: hmmm
jacki: but DONT tell me what happens in the episode. i mean it
catherine: (laughing evilly)
jacki: DONT! catherine! if you tell me, i will slap you so hard! i mean it, ill be so angry ill rip your face of
catherine: (continues to laugh)
jacki: catherine! i meant it! ill..ill..iil poo in your bed!
catherine: then ill poo in your bed!
jacki: i dont care, you'll have poo in your bed first!!
mum: can you guys shut up?
jacki: catherine dont tell me anything!
catherine: ok i wont
jacki: but tell me the thing at the end
catherine: no im not telling you anything
jacki: but, why not?
catherine: you said not to!
jacki: i meant to do with the episode
catherine: well that has to do with the episode!
jacki: no it doesnt!
catherine: yes it does!
jacki: no it doesnt!
catherine: yes it does!
jacki: fine! dont tell me!
catherine: fine i wont
jacki: because you're a bitch?
catherine: no
jacki: yes
catherine: no
jacki: yes
catherine: no
jacki: just so you know, this is totally going on my blog
catherine: mmhmm, sure, and you'll make me sound like an idiot as usual im guessing?
jacki: i dont make you sound like an idiot
catherine: yes you do!
jacki: well maybe thats because you are an idiot and you just dont realise it!
catherine: hmm sure
jacki: i know
catherine: whatever
jacki: no, not whatever
catherine: yes, whatever
jacki: no
catherine: yes
jacki: no
catherine: yes!
jacki: no!
catherine: you suck!
jacki: you suck more!
catherine: whatever
jacki: i love you
ha! what idiots
the current situation: i, having arrived home late from the movies, have missed the first 10 minutes of prison break. luckily, i have it already on dvd, and so plan to have a shower for the next 50 minutes, then get out and watch it AFTER it finishes on tv, so i dont risk seeing anything on tv before i watch it on dvd. if that makes sense.
anyway.
jacki: (shielding eyes from the tv and running up the stairs) dont tell me! dont tell me! dont tell me!
catherine: what?
jacki: dont tell me whats happening, im going to watch the dvd after!
catherine: why dont you just watch it now?
jacki: ive missed the first 10 minutes, and everybody knows if you miss the first 10 minutes, you may as well miss the whole thing!
catherine: shhh!
jacki: what?
catherine: shhh!
jacki: pfft (walks off)
(i returned in the ad break)
jacki: ok now its an ad i can talk to you
catherine: jacki shut up!
jacki: why? its just an ad!
catherine: what do you want?
jacki: can you make sure you watch the bit at the very end that tells us when they're going to start showing season 3?
catherine: why cant you just watch it?
jacki: because im having a shower and then watching the dvd!
catherine: so you'll see it on the dvd!
jacki: no i wont, because the dvd is american tv!
catherine: well then!
jacki: so will you tell me!?
catherine: tell you what?
jacki: when its coming back!!
catherine: hmmm
jacki: but DONT tell me what happens in the episode. i mean it
catherine: (laughing evilly)
jacki: DONT! catherine! if you tell me, i will slap you so hard! i mean it, ill be so angry ill rip your face of
catherine: (continues to laugh)
jacki: catherine! i meant it! ill..ill..iil poo in your bed!
catherine: then ill poo in your bed!
jacki: i dont care, you'll have poo in your bed first!!
mum: can you guys shut up?
jacki: catherine dont tell me anything!
catherine: ok i wont
jacki: but tell me the thing at the end
catherine: no im not telling you anything
jacki: but, why not?
catherine: you said not to!
jacki: i meant to do with the episode
catherine: well that has to do with the episode!
jacki: no it doesnt!
catherine: yes it does!
jacki: no it doesnt!
catherine: yes it does!
jacki: fine! dont tell me!
catherine: fine i wont
jacki: because you're a bitch?
catherine: no
jacki: yes
catherine: no
jacki: yes
catherine: no
jacki: just so you know, this is totally going on my blog
catherine: mmhmm, sure, and you'll make me sound like an idiot as usual im guessing?
jacki: i dont make you sound like an idiot
catherine: yes you do!
jacki: well maybe thats because you are an idiot and you just dont realise it!
catherine: hmm sure
jacki: i know
catherine: whatever
jacki: no, not whatever
catherine: yes, whatever
jacki: no
catherine: yes
jacki: no
catherine: yes!
jacki: no!
catherine: you suck!
jacki: you suck more!
catherine: whatever
jacki: i love you
ha! what idiots
a life lesson for all you boys and girls
so basically, its 2.38 on thursday morning, and im starting to regret that...lets ad it all up...4 and a half litres of coke that i just drank
hmmm
hmmm
hmmm
i guess they werent lying when they said that coke has caffiene in it
although come to think about it cant think why they would lie
maybe im thinking that they werent lying when they said that it kept you awake at night?
because i never really believed that until now
you know
the whole dont-drink-coke-or-coffee-because-you-will-be-awake-for-all-eternity thing
i thought that was a myth, like bigfoot, or non-incestual home and away plotlines.
well i guess not!!
so what did i do today. or rather, yesterday, seeings as it is now today, and 'today' is now yesterday. new day. old day. yesterday?
what the.
so what did i do? oh yes lets see. i slaved for several hours over a dt major work which i now hate, and which alistair will probably refuse to model for me, so, naturally, i will have to rip his face off.
actually i probably wont seeings as then i would have to exert effort, which (as you should all know by now) i really dont enjoy doing.
what else. julia got her ps. truly awesome. now i have more than one person to chauferre me. or however you spell that. anyway im really quite on my way to recruiting an army of people who can drive me around, and beginning to think that getting my l's was a bit of a waste. i mean why would i drive myself when other people could drive me? anyway even though i havent actually driven yet im pretty sure, based on that time i drove the bumper cars at Luna Park, that im going to be a sucky driver.
so really im doing the world a service by being too lazy to drive and forcing other people to drive me around.
i also saw harry potter. a very high point in the day, seeings as harry potter is pretty much the most awesome thing that has ever happened to our generation and all. yep. it was pretty cool. pretty pretty cool. and julia and i drove (well, julia drove, i was driven), and got lost twice and it was the pinacle of my existance.
anyway.
when i got home i had a long shower and watched americas next top model on plus 2.
and i cannot believe that baby Tyra got out. i mean seriously Tyra. i love you. i love you enough to watch the true hollywood story on you. i love you enough to myspace stalk you. but that was just wrong. just wrong. if i werent so lazy, id do something about it.
but im lazy
so hooray for Tyra!
anyway then i got ready for the moment, the one ive been waiting for, for, oh i dont know, practically my whole life, that is, the season finale of prison break.
which, by the way, was probably the most awesome thing that has ever happened to me.
the annoying thing is that when i talk about prison break, nobody knows what im talking about, because they dont watch it, so i cant explain how good it is.
and even the people who DO watch it dont understand what im talking about because i talk more about my upcoming wedding to wentworth miller than the actual plotlines.
where was i?
oh yeah. after prison break, the realisation that im not going to see another new prison break episode for at least 4 months set in, and i proceeded to drown my sorrows in 4.5 litres of diet coke and 3 more episodes of prison break on dvd.
so thats where my problems started i guess.
now im sitting here, blogging about how i cant get to sleep, listening to ministry of sound REALLY loudly (which probably isnt helping the not-being-able-to-get-to-sleep-thing, but there you go), and arranging then re-arranging my myspace layout one dillion times, yet still hating it.
sigh.
no more prison break
whats a girl to do (apart from stalk wentworth miller over the internet, watch season 2 over and over again, and enter as many prison break-related competitions as she can find)
so the life lesson i hear you all asking?
dont drink coke before bedtime
and if you do, make sure theres somebody around to check that you keep all your clothes on
hmmm
hmmm
hmmm
i guess they werent lying when they said that coke has caffiene in it
although come to think about it cant think why they would lie
maybe im thinking that they werent lying when they said that it kept you awake at night?
because i never really believed that until now
you know
the whole dont-drink-coke-or-coffee-because-you-will-be-awake-for-all-eternity thing
i thought that was a myth, like bigfoot, or non-incestual home and away plotlines.
well i guess not!!
so what did i do today. or rather, yesterday, seeings as it is now today, and 'today' is now yesterday. new day. old day. yesterday?
what the.
so what did i do? oh yes lets see. i slaved for several hours over a dt major work which i now hate, and which alistair will probably refuse to model for me, so, naturally, i will have to rip his face off.
actually i probably wont seeings as then i would have to exert effort, which (as you should all know by now) i really dont enjoy doing.
what else. julia got her ps. truly awesome. now i have more than one person to chauferre me. or however you spell that. anyway im really quite on my way to recruiting an army of people who can drive me around, and beginning to think that getting my l's was a bit of a waste. i mean why would i drive myself when other people could drive me? anyway even though i havent actually driven yet im pretty sure, based on that time i drove the bumper cars at Luna Park, that im going to be a sucky driver.
so really im doing the world a service by being too lazy to drive and forcing other people to drive me around.
i also saw harry potter. a very high point in the day, seeings as harry potter is pretty much the most awesome thing that has ever happened to our generation and all. yep. it was pretty cool. pretty pretty cool. and julia and i drove (well, julia drove, i was driven), and got lost twice and it was the pinacle of my existance.
anyway.
when i got home i had a long shower and watched americas next top model on plus 2.
and i cannot believe that baby Tyra got out. i mean seriously Tyra. i love you. i love you enough to watch the true hollywood story on you. i love you enough to myspace stalk you. but that was just wrong. just wrong. if i werent so lazy, id do something about it.
but im lazy
so hooray for Tyra!
anyway then i got ready for the moment, the one ive been waiting for, for, oh i dont know, practically my whole life, that is, the season finale of prison break.
which, by the way, was probably the most awesome thing that has ever happened to me.
the annoying thing is that when i talk about prison break, nobody knows what im talking about, because they dont watch it, so i cant explain how good it is.
and even the people who DO watch it dont understand what im talking about because i talk more about my upcoming wedding to wentworth miller than the actual plotlines.
where was i?
oh yeah. after prison break, the realisation that im not going to see another new prison break episode for at least 4 months set in, and i proceeded to drown my sorrows in 4.5 litres of diet coke and 3 more episodes of prison break on dvd.
so thats where my problems started i guess.
now im sitting here, blogging about how i cant get to sleep, listening to ministry of sound REALLY loudly (which probably isnt helping the not-being-able-to-get-to-sleep-thing, but there you go), and arranging then re-arranging my myspace layout one dillion times, yet still hating it.
sigh.
no more prison break
whats a girl to do (apart from stalk wentworth miller over the internet, watch season 2 over and over again, and enter as many prison break-related competitions as she can find)
so the life lesson i hear you all asking?
dont drink coke before bedtime
and if you do, make sure theres somebody around to check that you keep all your clothes on
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
00 what the hell
so for all of today i was having these absolutely massive cravings for a james bond movie, which is pretty interesting seeings as i really have no interest in james bond, and havent ever even seen a full james bond movie in all my 17 years, but dont ask me to fathom the inner workings of my twisted mind.
anyway.
so when i got home i convinced catherine to go out and get diet coke and mnms and at 9pm sharp we sat down to Casino Royale.
(and can i just say despite the fact that the guys ears are totally disproportional to his head, he makes up for it with a nice set of eyes)
so now i can officially say ive experienced it.
a james bond movie that is.
,...so what to say about it.
well i think the conversation that ensued the movie can say more than a blog can:
jacki: (pause) Well. That was...
catherine: It was..
jacki: Do you have any idea what happened?
catherine: No. no i dont.
jacki: I mean. (pause). Who were those people?
catherine: Were they good or bad?
jacki: I thought the girl in the red dress was a goodie
catherine: No, no she was definitely bad
jacki: But he loved her!
catherine: She stole the money
jacki: To save his life!
catherine: Save whose life?
jacki: I dont know!!
catherine: It was just so..
jacki: I mean...
catherine: Like...
jacki: Who were those people? Who died? Who lived?
catherine: Who was the guy at the end?
jacki: I dont know, james bond?
catherine: No, because he got shot
jacki: He got shot??
catherine: I think so
jacki: What just happened?
catherine: I think we wasted two and half hours of our lives
jacki: That was a James Bond movie, right?
catherine: Right
jacki: I just..I just..
catherine: Maybe you're supposed to watch it more than once?
jacki: Maybe you're supposed to watch all the other james bond movies first?
catherine: How many other ones are there?
jacki: I dont know. I think 12 million
catherine: Hmm. I think from now on we should stick to Gilmore Girls
jacki: deal
so if anyone can explain the concept of james bond the trew girls would be very much appreciative
anyway.
so when i got home i convinced catherine to go out and get diet coke and mnms and at 9pm sharp we sat down to Casino Royale.
(and can i just say despite the fact that the guys ears are totally disproportional to his head, he makes up for it with a nice set of eyes)
so now i can officially say ive experienced it.
a james bond movie that is.
,...so what to say about it.
well i think the conversation that ensued the movie can say more than a blog can:
jacki: (pause) Well. That was...
catherine: It was..
jacki: Do you have any idea what happened?
catherine: No. no i dont.
jacki: I mean. (pause). Who were those people?
catherine: Were they good or bad?
jacki: I thought the girl in the red dress was a goodie
catherine: No, no she was definitely bad
jacki: But he loved her!
catherine: She stole the money
jacki: To save his life!
catherine: Save whose life?
jacki: I dont know!!
catherine: It was just so..
jacki: I mean...
catherine: Like...
jacki: Who were those people? Who died? Who lived?
catherine: Who was the guy at the end?
jacki: I dont know, james bond?
catherine: No, because he got shot
jacki: He got shot??
catherine: I think so
jacki: What just happened?
catherine: I think we wasted two and half hours of our lives
jacki: That was a James Bond movie, right?
catherine: Right
jacki: I just..I just..
catherine: Maybe you're supposed to watch it more than once?
jacki: Maybe you're supposed to watch all the other james bond movies first?
catherine: How many other ones are there?
jacki: I dont know. I think 12 million
catherine: Hmm. I think from now on we should stick to Gilmore Girls
jacki: deal
so if anyone can explain the concept of james bond the trew girls would be very much appreciative
Sunday, July 08, 2007
BYO?
so julia and i were just thinking
when you get an invite to something
and it says 'byo' on the bottom
what does that even mean?
obviously Bring Your Own, im not 100% retarded. but. seriously. any decent person would add a letter onto the end, to let people know what they want them to bring
i mean
bring your own could entail anything.
i could bring my own blanket? my own ham? my own dvd player? my own male-order husband? my own chocolate body paint? my own piggy bank? my own flag? my own history text book? my own beach ball? my own container of baby tomatoes? my own toilet brush? my own copy of clueless on dvd? my own shower radio? my own donuts?
specify people
when you get an invite to something
and it says 'byo' on the bottom
what does that even mean?
obviously Bring Your Own, im not 100% retarded. but. seriously. any decent person would add a letter onto the end, to let people know what they want them to bring
i mean
bring your own could entail anything.
i could bring my own blanket? my own ham? my own dvd player? my own male-order husband? my own chocolate body paint? my own piggy bank? my own flag? my own history text book? my own beach ball? my own container of baby tomatoes? my own toilet brush? my own copy of clueless on dvd? my own shower radio? my own donuts?
specify people
Friday, July 06, 2007
Diary of a Study Camper
(from my time at study camp)
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 2 of Study Camp
So.
Beth and I just decided that time on study camp is better spent writing blogs that I can post when I get home than actually studying, on account of the fact that I cannot think of anything more heinous, more hideous, more horrifying than doing any more studying than we already have today (6, count them, 6 hours a day).
Ew.
Ew ew ew.
So we arrived yesterday afternoon, thinking hey, it might not actually be as horrible as we think. And so far I can say no. No its not that horrible.
Its worse. One million times worse. One trillion times worse. Think of the worst thing that has ever happened to you, combine it with a plane crash, mosquito bites all over your body, watching ‘Room with a View’ over and over, and times the whole thing by about 75 thousand and you’re about a quarter of the way there.
Probably the most confusing thing so far is the fact that nobody seems to be finding this as bad as me Casey and Beth.
Oh no. Everybody else is all ‘It could be worse’. ‘Its not that bad’.
Oh I suppose its not that bad. No actually, its quite wonderful.
Apart from the fact that the highest temperature we’ve experienced so far is about -6 degrees, the heater in our room only stays on for about 2 minutes at a time, the hot water in the shower ran out after ONE person had a shower, the ‘mashed potato’ at dinner tonight was more like whipped butter sprinkled with imitation potato flakes and THERE IS NO WAY TO ESCAPE.
Luckily the current study session (yes, a study session, despite the fact that its 9pm on a Sunday night) is almost over, so I’m one step closer to being able to run through the rain (yes, rain, isn’t camp wonderful?) to our semi-thawed-by-the-crappy-heater cabin, crawl into my semi-thawed-by-the-heater-but-similar-to-sleeping-on-a-rock bed and attempt to enjoy the only bearable part of camp; unconsciousness.
More in the next study session, during which I should probably be learning about prohibition or some other topic equally as disgusting.
FOUR DAYS AND 13 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 3 of Study Camp
Usually I use the last session of the day – the one where I’m half dead anyway – to write my study camp blog, but after sitting here for the last 45 minutes and doing nothing but scribbling ‘I don’t care’ all over a practice maths exam, I decided to use my time for something more important.
At the moment we’re in our third full day of hell, in the middle of something called an ‘exam simulation’: basically we’ve been locked in the study hall and told that in order for it to feel like a ‘real exam’, we cant have food or laptops Or notes of any kind or ipods or textbooks or too many toilet breaks or to talk or look at each other or breathe or move or think, and all we can have it pen, paper, and a practice exam.
All well and good, except that I actually don’t have enough knowledge to answer even one of the questions on the modern or English papers they gave us, and mr obrien hates me so much that the actually refused to give me a practice paper.
That’s right.
And since we came in here at 9.20am and we’re not allowed out until 12.15pm, ive so far been forced to think of some pretty creative ways to pass the time.
The day wasn’t made any better by the fact that when we tried to sleep through breakfast this morning (electing to be hungry rather than actually falling asleep during the study session), our leaders practically bashed down the door and dragged us out.
Meanwhile, I was still reliving the horror that was lunchtime yesterday, when a cruel and sadistic leader forced our table (typically full of Roseville girls) to wait practically six thousand years under we were allowed to get up and actually get our food.
By the time I actually got lunch, I was so starved that I practically inhaled the food, and wasn’t even able to enjoy how awesome it was (sidebar: pizza, hamburgers, wedges and sausage rolls for lunch = jacki in a fit of ecstasy)
Anyway now I’m sitting here, with one hand on my calculator so it looks like I’m at least attempting to do work, and the other on my stomach, attempting to muffle the noises it keeps emitting due to hunger, which are so loud that people at the table next to us are actually looking over in disgust.
2 DAYS AND 23 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 3.5 of Study Camp
So while I already wrote a ‘blog’ today, I felt it necessary to advertise the fact that TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY I EVER HAVE TO STUDY FOR 6 HOURS.
Because even though we don’t go home til Friday lunchtime (oh, that it would come fast enough), on Thursday we have our superhero/dress up/talent show night, and so we ONLY HAVE TO DO 4 AND A HALF HOURS.
Only now as I was typing that, do I realise what this camp has done to me
ONLY four and a half hours?
I cant wait to go home. Home. Home. Where the heart is. And the tv. And the fridge, which is always open. And the bathroom, which is large and luxurious, and always available, so that if I want to have a shower at 10 past 11 at night, I DAMN WELL CAN.
And my bed.
Oh bed. Oh sweet bed. That I spent so many hours complaining about how small and lumpy and cramped you are. If only, I think to myself. If only I could take it back, and lie in you and snuggle into your sweet doona and wrap myself in your sweet scalding electric blanket and never ever get out.
Study session at the moment. It’s pretty much as bad as ever. The high point was when this bird that was stuck in the ceiling started squawking really loudly. Everybody got really distracted for about one tenth of a second, and then went back to amoebas or differentiation or whatever.
Typical.
So now I’m just sitting here downsizing this document every time one of the leaders comes past, which is pretty much every 8 seconds since I think they’re onto me, so you have to understand how difficult it is to write a full blog.
11 minutes left of this session. I think I might go crazy. Just sitting here, trying to decide whether or not writing I feel that my project has made people more aware of preserving a greener environment, as during the construction, I made sure to advertise the fact that I was attempting to minimise waste as much as possible, and was therefore promoting a greener environment in my DT folio will cause the markers to fail me for being a complete dickhead.
Hmm. I suppose I better go before the leaders form some sort of Committee Against Students Who Come To Study Camp But Never Do Any Study, They Just Sit And Stare Into Space, Or Write Inconceivably Stupid Blogs, Or Attempt To Eat Starburst Lollies Under The Table and kick me out.
Which would actually probably be not so bad.
2 DAYS AND 13 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 5 of Study Camp
Its one of those days where every minute feels like 10 dillion years.
And those days are bad enough on their own.
I don’t need them to be made any worse by the fact that I’m spending the minutes studying.
Ugh.
Ugh.
We’re so close. And yet somehow, still so far. Probably because 2 sessions of studying are standing between us and the finish line.
24 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 5.5 of Study Camp
What I’m going to do when I escape from study camp:
Sleep for 72 hours straight.
Eat for 72 hours straight
Watch whatever I want on tv for 72 hours straight
Stand in the shower. Just stand, and appreciate that there is enough water coming out to actually wet my hair
De-thaw my toes
Waste time
Throw my alarm clock out the window
Go to the toilet without putting my hand up
Have my phone on loud ALL the time
Keep msn and myspace open on my computer indefinitely
Blog
Eat a piece of fruit
Enjoy freedom
Make sure to tell my family that if I ever attempt to come on study camp again, they should slap me silly
22 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 5.9 of Study Camp
So here I am, in our last study session ever, with just over 15 minutes to go, wondering if it would be too uncouth to jump onto the table, strip down, and dance naked when they tell us its over.
That’s how incredibly happy I am.
Or will be.
Except for the fact that camp actually doesn’t end until tomorrow at 11am, which equals almost 20 hours of camp camp camp when I don’t even need to be at camp, so why am I at camp again?
Maybe I should hotwire Beth’s car and drive home tonight. To tell you the truth I’ve been thinking about doing it for the past 3 and a half days, except that:a) I don’t know how to driveb) I don’t know where the keys are
c) There’s a lot of cars in the carpark and im not entirely sure which one is hers
This sucks.
Its our last study session ever and im trying to think of something massively profound and intelligent to say but all I can think about is the fact that I really need to pee.
Typical.
They’re projecting inspirational messages onto the screen up the front now. The last one was ‘luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get!’. I think possibly that is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard.
So basically I would write something witty and interesting, but im too exhausted from the hell that has been this week.
In conclusion, study camps suck.
Signing off,
Jacki
6 MINUTES TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 2 of Study Camp
So.
Beth and I just decided that time on study camp is better spent writing blogs that I can post when I get home than actually studying, on account of the fact that I cannot think of anything more heinous, more hideous, more horrifying than doing any more studying than we already have today (6, count them, 6 hours a day).
Ew.
Ew ew ew.
So we arrived yesterday afternoon, thinking hey, it might not actually be as horrible as we think. And so far I can say no. No its not that horrible.
Its worse. One million times worse. One trillion times worse. Think of the worst thing that has ever happened to you, combine it with a plane crash, mosquito bites all over your body, watching ‘Room with a View’ over and over, and times the whole thing by about 75 thousand and you’re about a quarter of the way there.
Probably the most confusing thing so far is the fact that nobody seems to be finding this as bad as me Casey and Beth.
Oh no. Everybody else is all ‘It could be worse’. ‘Its not that bad’.
Oh I suppose its not that bad. No actually, its quite wonderful.
Apart from the fact that the highest temperature we’ve experienced so far is about -6 degrees, the heater in our room only stays on for about 2 minutes at a time, the hot water in the shower ran out after ONE person had a shower, the ‘mashed potato’ at dinner tonight was more like whipped butter sprinkled with imitation potato flakes and THERE IS NO WAY TO ESCAPE.
Luckily the current study session (yes, a study session, despite the fact that its 9pm on a Sunday night) is almost over, so I’m one step closer to being able to run through the rain (yes, rain, isn’t camp wonderful?) to our semi-thawed-by-the-crappy-heater cabin, crawl into my semi-thawed-by-the-heater-but-similar-to-sleeping-on-a-rock bed and attempt to enjoy the only bearable part of camp; unconsciousness.
More in the next study session, during which I should probably be learning about prohibition or some other topic equally as disgusting.
FOUR DAYS AND 13 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 3 of Study Camp
Usually I use the last session of the day – the one where I’m half dead anyway – to write my study camp blog, but after sitting here for the last 45 minutes and doing nothing but scribbling ‘I don’t care’ all over a practice maths exam, I decided to use my time for something more important.
At the moment we’re in our third full day of hell, in the middle of something called an ‘exam simulation’: basically we’ve been locked in the study hall and told that in order for it to feel like a ‘real exam’, we cant have food or laptops Or notes of any kind or ipods or textbooks or too many toilet breaks or to talk or look at each other or breathe or move or think, and all we can have it pen, paper, and a practice exam.
All well and good, except that I actually don’t have enough knowledge to answer even one of the questions on the modern or English papers they gave us, and mr obrien hates me so much that the actually refused to give me a practice paper.
That’s right.
And since we came in here at 9.20am and we’re not allowed out until 12.15pm, ive so far been forced to think of some pretty creative ways to pass the time.
The day wasn’t made any better by the fact that when we tried to sleep through breakfast this morning (electing to be hungry rather than actually falling asleep during the study session), our leaders practically bashed down the door and dragged us out.
Meanwhile, I was still reliving the horror that was lunchtime yesterday, when a cruel and sadistic leader forced our table (typically full of Roseville girls) to wait practically six thousand years under we were allowed to get up and actually get our food.
By the time I actually got lunch, I was so starved that I practically inhaled the food, and wasn’t even able to enjoy how awesome it was (sidebar: pizza, hamburgers, wedges and sausage rolls for lunch = jacki in a fit of ecstasy)
Anyway now I’m sitting here, with one hand on my calculator so it looks like I’m at least attempting to do work, and the other on my stomach, attempting to muffle the noises it keeps emitting due to hunger, which are so loud that people at the table next to us are actually looking over in disgust.
2 DAYS AND 23 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 3.5 of Study Camp
So while I already wrote a ‘blog’ today, I felt it necessary to advertise the fact that TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY I EVER HAVE TO STUDY FOR 6 HOURS.
Because even though we don’t go home til Friday lunchtime (oh, that it would come fast enough), on Thursday we have our superhero/dress up/talent show night, and so we ONLY HAVE TO DO 4 AND A HALF HOURS.
Only now as I was typing that, do I realise what this camp has done to me
ONLY four and a half hours?
I cant wait to go home. Home. Home. Where the heart is. And the tv. And the fridge, which is always open. And the bathroom, which is large and luxurious, and always available, so that if I want to have a shower at 10 past 11 at night, I DAMN WELL CAN.
And my bed.
Oh bed. Oh sweet bed. That I spent so many hours complaining about how small and lumpy and cramped you are. If only, I think to myself. If only I could take it back, and lie in you and snuggle into your sweet doona and wrap myself in your sweet scalding electric blanket and never ever get out.
Study session at the moment. It’s pretty much as bad as ever. The high point was when this bird that was stuck in the ceiling started squawking really loudly. Everybody got really distracted for about one tenth of a second, and then went back to amoebas or differentiation or whatever.
Typical.
So now I’m just sitting here downsizing this document every time one of the leaders comes past, which is pretty much every 8 seconds since I think they’re onto me, so you have to understand how difficult it is to write a full blog.
11 minutes left of this session. I think I might go crazy. Just sitting here, trying to decide whether or not writing I feel that my project has made people more aware of preserving a greener environment, as during the construction, I made sure to advertise the fact that I was attempting to minimise waste as much as possible, and was therefore promoting a greener environment in my DT folio will cause the markers to fail me for being a complete dickhead.
Hmm. I suppose I better go before the leaders form some sort of Committee Against Students Who Come To Study Camp But Never Do Any Study, They Just Sit And Stare Into Space, Or Write Inconceivably Stupid Blogs, Or Attempt To Eat Starburst Lollies Under The Table and kick me out.
Which would actually probably be not so bad.
2 DAYS AND 13 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 5 of Study Camp
Its one of those days where every minute feels like 10 dillion years.
And those days are bad enough on their own.
I don’t need them to be made any worse by the fact that I’m spending the minutes studying.
Ugh.
Ugh.
We’re so close. And yet somehow, still so far. Probably because 2 sessions of studying are standing between us and the finish line.
24 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 5.5 of Study Camp
What I’m going to do when I escape from study camp:
Sleep for 72 hours straight.
Eat for 72 hours straight
Watch whatever I want on tv for 72 hours straight
Stand in the shower. Just stand, and appreciate that there is enough water coming out to actually wet my hair
De-thaw my toes
Waste time
Throw my alarm clock out the window
Go to the toilet without putting my hand up
Have my phone on loud ALL the time
Keep msn and myspace open on my computer indefinitely
Blog
Eat a piece of fruit
Enjoy freedom
Make sure to tell my family that if I ever attempt to come on study camp again, they should slap me silly
22 HOURS TO GO
Diary of a Study Camper – Day 5.9 of Study Camp
So here I am, in our last study session ever, with just over 15 minutes to go, wondering if it would be too uncouth to jump onto the table, strip down, and dance naked when they tell us its over.
That’s how incredibly happy I am.
Or will be.
Except for the fact that camp actually doesn’t end until tomorrow at 11am, which equals almost 20 hours of camp camp camp when I don’t even need to be at camp, so why am I at camp again?
Maybe I should hotwire Beth’s car and drive home tonight. To tell you the truth I’ve been thinking about doing it for the past 3 and a half days, except that:a) I don’t know how to driveb) I don’t know where the keys are
c) There’s a lot of cars in the carpark and im not entirely sure which one is hers
This sucks.
Its our last study session ever and im trying to think of something massively profound and intelligent to say but all I can think about is the fact that I really need to pee.
Typical.
They’re projecting inspirational messages onto the screen up the front now. The last one was ‘luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get!’. I think possibly that is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard.
So basically I would write something witty and interesting, but im too exhausted from the hell that has been this week.
In conclusion, study camps suck.
Signing off,
Jacki
6 MINUTES TO GO
i return!
yep, its me, after two weeks away: a lovely week of shopping and eating in Noosa followed by the hell that was study camp
ugh
ugh
ugh!!
i cant even explain how bad it was
which is why i used the study time to write blogs which i will now post
enjoy!!!
ugh
ugh
ugh!!
i cant even explain how bad it was
which is why i used the study time to write blogs which i will now post
enjoy!!!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
i just had to write a correction to my blog entitled 'jessica ann morton healy q'
it seems that jess didnt actually fall down while carrying a rowing boat and start choking on her tounge
no no, she didnt
no, she was drinking water and then she started choking on the water. then she started hyperventilating. then she fainted. THEN she swallowed her tounge.
you're right jess. this version is MUCH less embarrasing
it seems that jess didnt actually fall down while carrying a rowing boat and start choking on her tounge
no no, she didnt
no, she was drinking water and then she started choking on the water. then she started hyperventilating. then she fainted. THEN she swallowed her tounge.
you're right jess. this version is MUCH less embarrasing
Monday, June 18, 2007
Jessica Ann Morton (Healy) Q
so by request (from the lovely beth maree docker), i decided to write a blog on jessica ann morton healy q, probably one of the greatest sources of entertainment in my life
Jess.
Jess.
Jess's full name is Jessica Ann Morton Healy Q. Jess is very sporty and does things like basketball and athletics and (groan) rowing. rowing epitomises jess. jess epitomises rowing. its like they were made for each other. like she was probably born holding a tiny oar. probably? definitely.
jess has heaps of nicknames. we pretty much give her a new nickname every day. we call her jess, jessica, jussicoo, special, spesh, special jessie, jessie bear, jessie, s-dog, j-dog, morto, jessica ann, and sometimes (if we really feel like annoying her), we call her by her full name
jess doesnt like her nicknames much. well she pretends to hate them. but we all know she loves them because she told us we could embroider 'spesh' on her jersey. she claims to hate being called spesh the most, but i think she secretly craves it. i think it makes her feel, well, special.
jess works at video ezy. i dont know why. none of us know why because she has crappy pay, crappy hours, her boss is mean to her and most of the people who work there look like drug dealers. she also has to work most saturday nights, which sucks. but this one time we had a picnic and jess brought all this past-its-used-by-date food and we ate it all and it was completely awesome. she also tells us hilarious stories about hilarious things that happen to her on the job, like the time this guy was a returning a porno and it had cum all over it.
most of the time the stories jess tells sound like they could never actually happen in real life, like the guy-returning-porno-with-cum-all-over-it story, but we always listen and laugh.
jess is very accident prone. since we've been at roseville, the school has put the emergency room on speed dial. jess requires about 17 ambulances per year. the most memorable accidents featuring jess include:
Jess.
Jess.
Jess's full name is Jessica Ann Morton Healy Q. Jess is very sporty and does things like basketball and athletics and (groan) rowing. rowing epitomises jess. jess epitomises rowing. its like they were made for each other. like she was probably born holding a tiny oar. probably? definitely.
jess has heaps of nicknames. we pretty much give her a new nickname every day. we call her jess, jessica, jussicoo, special, spesh, special jessie, jessie bear, jessie, s-dog, j-dog, morto, jessica ann, and sometimes (if we really feel like annoying her), we call her by her full name
jess doesnt like her nicknames much. well she pretends to hate them. but we all know she loves them because she told us we could embroider 'spesh' on her jersey. she claims to hate being called spesh the most, but i think she secretly craves it. i think it makes her feel, well, special.
jess works at video ezy. i dont know why. none of us know why because she has crappy pay, crappy hours, her boss is mean to her and most of the people who work there look like drug dealers. she also has to work most saturday nights, which sucks. but this one time we had a picnic and jess brought all this past-its-used-by-date food and we ate it all and it was completely awesome. she also tells us hilarious stories about hilarious things that happen to her on the job, like the time this guy was a returning a porno and it had cum all over it.
most of the time the stories jess tells sound like they could never actually happen in real life, like the guy-returning-porno-with-cum-all-over-it story, but we always listen and laugh.
jess is very accident prone. since we've been at roseville, the school has put the emergency room on speed dial. jess requires about 17 ambulances per year. the most memorable accidents featuring jess include:
- that time she was running away from us and she ran into the bathroom door and got concussion
- that time she was carrying a rowing boat and she slipped and fell and started choking on her own tounge
- that time she fell and hannah tripped over her neck and she had to lie on hobbs lawn for ages and ages and it started to rain so the ambulance guys put a tarpoline over her and we were all watching from the science labs and laughing
jess is very strong, but she doesnt know it. this can be very dangerous. jess is known to pick people up and slam them against metal lockers in a fit of rage. this is very amusing for the onlooker, but very frightening for the victim.
sometimes jess gets likened to a 79 year old man because she sleeps all the time and is always squinting through her glasses and yelling 'IS IT JUST ME, OR IS IT REALLY BRIGHT IN HERE??'. this is why getting driven home by jess can be very frightening. not that im complaining :) jess also always has a large bottle of water wherever she goes. she doesnt usually like to share it with anyone, which is a source of conflict in our group.
jess doesnt like anyone to touch her things. especially her pencil case. so most people think she has some mild form of obsessive compulsive disorder. jess wont let you take anything out of her pencil case unless you put it back in the same order that you got it out. if you mess up her pencil case, jess will literally rip your face off. some of the people in our group like to have fun with jess because she is so anal about her pencil case. most of the time she is able to hang on to her pocessions, but sometimes she slips up, and ends up having to buy a new white out and a new glue stick every week for 3 months. the rest of us have lots of white out and glue at the bottom of our schoolbags.
one of jess's favourite past-times is chasing people around the school. most of the time, jess thinks she is just part of a fun game, while the people getting chased are genuinely running for their lives. another of jess's favourite past-times is eating. jess is known to consume large amounts of food, especially chocolate. another of jess's favourite past-times is buying me lunch. i love jess.
jess can be very handy in a sticky situation. like when we used to play grunge. grunge was basically a very violent form of tag-footy that we used to play on hobbes lawn. im sure we all remember rushing to be on jess's team, because it was common knowledge that whichever team jess was on would win; all they had to do was throw jess the ball, and she would barge through anything and everything to get to the other end of the field. even with the other team latched onto her back and the rest of the year standing on the sidelines screaming 'run jess, run!!' (which soon became her new tagline), jess could barrell through just about anything to ensure a victory. thats probably one of the main reasons we love jess
so thats it. my dedication to jess.
spesh.
jessica ann morton healy q
Sunday, June 17, 2007
thoughts i have when im supposed to be thinking about the hsc #1
you know, it really baffles me when people sign into msn on a mobile device
you know when it says "so and so has signed into msn on a mobile device'
how exactly does that work?
do they speak into their fone and the words come up onto your computer screen?
and how do they talk to more than one person at a time?
and how do they actually sign into msn? is there a mobile number you call? do you have to have the internet on your mobile? do you have to download msn onto your mobile?
....
you know i actually dont care im just avoiding ancient history
you know when it says "so and so has signed into msn on a mobile device'
how exactly does that work?
do they speak into their fone and the words come up onto your computer screen?
and how do they talk to more than one person at a time?
and how do they actually sign into msn? is there a mobile number you call? do you have to have the internet on your mobile? do you have to download msn onto your mobile?
....
you know i actually dont care im just avoiding ancient history
why greys anatomy is infuriating
so what the hell with Greys Anatomy SOS??
i mean, seriously
you're really going to drag it out over THREE weeks??
you really think thats going to work?
YOU REALLY THINK MY ATTENTION WILL LAST FOR THAT LONG????
i mean at least Greys Anatomy Code Black only took one episode
yes it was terrible, the plot line stank, and nobody for the life of them could figure out why they actually called it Greys Anatomy Code Black, but it only took one week!
one! and the next week we were back to regular, awesome, absolutely-filled-to-the-brim sexual tension Greys Anatomy
but Greys Anatomy SOS, ohhh no, no, no, its FAR to good to view in one simple 1-hour episode, so we have to stretch it out over at least three weeks
three weeks? are they CRAZY???
i mean sure, at first, the whole boat-on-fire-meredith-is-looking-after-some-cute-little-blonde-kid-and-issy-has-a-chance-to-redeem-her-probation-sentance-meanwhile-christina-and-burke-are-engaged-can-you-believe-it! thing really caught my attention, but enough is enough!
i mean.
meredith? to drown or not to drown?
thank goodness for youtube, and the fact that america sees every episode before us, is all i have to say, because i dont think i can wait seven whole days to find out whether or not that skinny bitch dies
...
wow.
its true. the hsc really does make people bitter and twisted
i mean, seriously
you're really going to drag it out over THREE weeks??
you really think thats going to work?
YOU REALLY THINK MY ATTENTION WILL LAST FOR THAT LONG????
i mean at least Greys Anatomy Code Black only took one episode
yes it was terrible, the plot line stank, and nobody for the life of them could figure out why they actually called it Greys Anatomy Code Black, but it only took one week!
one! and the next week we were back to regular, awesome, absolutely-filled-to-the-brim sexual tension Greys Anatomy
but Greys Anatomy SOS, ohhh no, no, no, its FAR to good to view in one simple 1-hour episode, so we have to stretch it out over at least three weeks
three weeks? are they CRAZY???
i mean sure, at first, the whole boat-on-fire-meredith-is-looking-after-some-cute-little-blonde-kid-and-issy-has-a-chance-to-redeem-her-probation-sentance-meanwhile-christina-and-burke-are-engaged-can-you-believe-it! thing really caught my attention, but enough is enough!
i mean.
meredith? to drown or not to drown?
thank goodness for youtube, and the fact that america sees every episode before us, is all i have to say, because i dont think i can wait seven whole days to find out whether or not that skinny bitch dies
...
wow.
its true. the hsc really does make people bitter and twisted
Friday, June 15, 2007
that time i abused channel 7
To whom it may concern (at channel 7)
Channel 7 has provided me with much entertainment over the past 17 years, and this has not gone unnoticed. Don't think I dont appreciate my daily dosage of Home and Away, or the occasional viewing of Dancing With The Stars. However, I have some concerns with channel 7's recent schedule.
It has come to my attention that last night, Prison Break was cancelled for the second time in the last three weeks. I find this unacceptable. It was then explained to me that the reason Prison Break has been cancelled so much recently is because of channel 10's airing of the State of Origin. I, however, fail to see what football has to do with Prison Break. I also don't understand why you think some 90's family 'comedy' starring three generations of Douglas men can compete with a national sporting competition, and Prison Break cannot. Don't you think that (the majority of) people would rather see a closeup of Wentworth Miller than Michael Douglas? Don't you think that (the majority of) people would rather experience an exciting twist in the plotline than three old men attempting to find love? Don't you think that (the majority of) people would rather you air Prison Break as normal than listen to me rant on and on and on about how 'Prison Break was cancelled AGAIN last night!'?
In conclusion, I feel it is best that you never cancel Prison Break again, under any circumstance, and should you absolutely feel the need to cancel it, at all, for any reason, you should both warn me in advance, and then send me a complimentary copy of the cancelled episode on dvd.
You should also know that if you cancel Prison Break again, I will not hesistate to find whoever is responsible, and put my foot in their ass.
Sincerely,
Jacki Trew
Channel 7 has provided me with much entertainment over the past 17 years, and this has not gone unnoticed. Don't think I dont appreciate my daily dosage of Home and Away, or the occasional viewing of Dancing With The Stars. However, I have some concerns with channel 7's recent schedule.
It has come to my attention that last night, Prison Break was cancelled for the second time in the last three weeks. I find this unacceptable. It was then explained to me that the reason Prison Break has been cancelled so much recently is because of channel 10's airing of the State of Origin. I, however, fail to see what football has to do with Prison Break. I also don't understand why you think some 90's family 'comedy' starring three generations of Douglas men can compete with a national sporting competition, and Prison Break cannot. Don't you think that (the majority of) people would rather see a closeup of Wentworth Miller than Michael Douglas? Don't you think that (the majority of) people would rather experience an exciting twist in the plotline than three old men attempting to find love? Don't you think that (the majority of) people would rather you air Prison Break as normal than listen to me rant on and on and on about how 'Prison Break was cancelled AGAIN last night!'?
In conclusion, I feel it is best that you never cancel Prison Break again, under any circumstance, and should you absolutely feel the need to cancel it, at all, for any reason, you should both warn me in advance, and then send me a complimentary copy of the cancelled episode on dvd.
You should also know that if you cancel Prison Break again, I will not hesistate to find whoever is responsible, and put my foot in their ass.
Sincerely,
Jacki Trew
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Shower Thoughts #22
so its not really a shower thought, more like something that happened to me while i was in the shower and i thought "you know what, this isnt necessarily a thought, but its so irritating that i feel like writing it down so that other people can laugh at me, because im jacki, and thats what i do".
yeah.
whatever.
basically. last week my mum realised that our upstairs shower (in other words the shower that i always use) was leaking
leaking? i never noticed it was leaking. arent showers supposed to leak? i mean, water IS supposed to come out right?
but anyway my mum insisted on getting some knows-how-to-fix-leaking-things-even-if-they-are-supposed-to-leak-at-least-jacki-thinks-they-are type guy comes and fixes the shower and tells me im not allowed to use it for the next 3 days or something
so as if THAT isnt annoying enough since i had to move all my shower stuff downstairs and wash in my parents shower for the next 3 days, and they have one of those bath/shower combo things, you know where you have to stand IN the bath while you have a shower?
anyway im really not good with those things, especially this one, because ends of the bath kind of slope upwards, and i always stand with my heel in the plughole, so the bath fills up with shower water and it gets really slippery and one day ill probably break my neck, but whatever thats not the point
the point is that tonight was the first night when i was actually able to shower in my own shower again (and could that night come fast enough)
so i got all my stuff and got into the shower and thought
hey
somethings different
anyway i turned on the taps and closed the door (from the outside because i never get in until the water has been running for at least 3 minutes so it can heat up), and waited for like 3 minutes and then jumped in and WHAT THE HELL THE WATER IS FREEZING AND ITS TOUCHING ME SO IM FREEZING AND THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK OF THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE AS COLD AS THIS IS THAT BLANKET AT CASEYS HOUSE, OR MAYBE FALLING OFF THE TITANIC.
what? what? why is this happening to me? and then i realised
THE STUPID MAN WHO CAME TO FIX THE SHOWER CRAFTILY SWAPPED THE LABELS ON THE TAPS
so basically, the hot tap is now cold, and the cold tap is now hot
heres where the big problem started
now im not that stupid. i can add numbers with the best of them. i can hand in my essays on time. but i couldnt for the life of me work out the handles. and i dont know why!
"maybe he didnt actually swap the taps, maybe the water is just taking longer to heat up because its winter"
"no, he changed the taps. so i have to put more cold in"
"putting more cold in doesnt make sense. maybe ill just wait for it to heat up"
"no, ill put more hot in. maybe i need to turn the hot tap further for it to work"
"no, he definitely switched the taps. so that means i need to put in more..."
"cold. no, hot. no, cold. no, hot"
so in the end i just ended up weeping because the only setting i was able to maintain was searing searing hot.
so now as well as having to experience the worst shower in history, i also no longer possess skin.
thanks alot shower guy.
yeah.
whatever.
basically. last week my mum realised that our upstairs shower (in other words the shower that i always use) was leaking
leaking? i never noticed it was leaking. arent showers supposed to leak? i mean, water IS supposed to come out right?
but anyway my mum insisted on getting some knows-how-to-fix-leaking-things-even-if-they-are-supposed-to-leak-at-least-jacki-thinks-they-are type guy comes and fixes the shower and tells me im not allowed to use it for the next 3 days or something
so as if THAT isnt annoying enough since i had to move all my shower stuff downstairs and wash in my parents shower for the next 3 days, and they have one of those bath/shower combo things, you know where you have to stand IN the bath while you have a shower?
anyway im really not good with those things, especially this one, because ends of the bath kind of slope upwards, and i always stand with my heel in the plughole, so the bath fills up with shower water and it gets really slippery and one day ill probably break my neck, but whatever thats not the point
the point is that tonight was the first night when i was actually able to shower in my own shower again (and could that night come fast enough)
so i got all my stuff and got into the shower and thought
hey
somethings different
anyway i turned on the taps and closed the door (from the outside because i never get in until the water has been running for at least 3 minutes so it can heat up), and waited for like 3 minutes and then jumped in and WHAT THE HELL THE WATER IS FREEZING AND ITS TOUCHING ME SO IM FREEZING AND THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK OF THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE AS COLD AS THIS IS THAT BLANKET AT CASEYS HOUSE, OR MAYBE FALLING OFF THE TITANIC.
what? what? why is this happening to me? and then i realised
THE STUPID MAN WHO CAME TO FIX THE SHOWER CRAFTILY SWAPPED THE LABELS ON THE TAPS
so basically, the hot tap is now cold, and the cold tap is now hot
heres where the big problem started
now im not that stupid. i can add numbers with the best of them. i can hand in my essays on time. but i couldnt for the life of me work out the handles. and i dont know why!
"maybe he didnt actually swap the taps, maybe the water is just taking longer to heat up because its winter"
"no, he changed the taps. so i have to put more cold in"
"putting more cold in doesnt make sense. maybe ill just wait for it to heat up"
"no, ill put more hot in. maybe i need to turn the hot tap further for it to work"
"no, he definitely switched the taps. so that means i need to put in more..."
"cold. no, hot. no, cold. no, hot"
so in the end i just ended up weeping because the only setting i was able to maintain was searing searing hot.
so now as well as having to experience the worst shower in history, i also no longer possess skin.
thanks alot shower guy.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
i fail ancient
basically the only thing i learnt which was even remotely related to schoolwork today was that for the last two years ive been spelling tuthankamen wrong.
whatever.
so i decided to compile a list of the many varied (and completely useless) things i actually DID learn today:
whatever.
so i decided to compile a list of the many varied (and completely useless) things i actually DID learn today:
- the tuthankamen thing.
- its hard to balance a laptop on your lap in the car, drink a bottle of coke and write your history extension major work at the same time.
- watching your dog attempt to lick an icecube off the floor can result in hours of entertainment.
- its probably not a good idea to lick the knife clean. especially when its a steak knife.
- nailpolish doesn't taste good.
- no matter how hard you concentrate, you wont be able to change the channel with your mind. get up and find the remote.
- its best to ignore the collosal amount of hair at the bottom of the shower.
- wentworth miller doesnt have a myspace.
- the most intensely painful feeling in the world is getting nailpolish remover in your eye.
- freddie prince jr looks terrible with blonde hair
- i have the attention span of a foetus
Sunday, June 03, 2007
ok so i forgot to blog about it BUT on wednesday night i made probably the biggest but most entertaining mistake of my life, which was introducing my mother to prison break.
and it went something like this:
mum: whats this?
jacki: shhh! its prison break
mum: you shhh!
jacki: im the one thats watching!
mum: no you're not
jacki: yes i am!
mum: why do you even like this show
jacki: wentworth miller
mum: whats wentworth miller?
jacki: (points to screen) thats wentworth miller
mum: (mistaking wentworth for some old guy) what? why?
jacki: no not him
mum: then who?
jacki: ill point when he comes on
mum: ok. so whats happening now?
jacki: cant you just watch?
mum: no
jacki: why?
mum: because i want to annoy you
jacki: when did you become this???
mum: become what?
jacki: become...me!
mum: huh?
jacki: (sees wentworth on the screen and points) there! thats him!
mum: oh i get it
jacki: get what
mum: get why you watch this show (smiling)
jacki: ok im going to pretend you didnt say that
and it basically went on like that for the next 40 minutes, with my mum pointing and/or laughing everytime wentworth miller came onto the screen. so ive come to the conclusion that she is never ever under any circumstance ever allowed to watch prison break with me ever again
and it went something like this:
mum: whats this?
jacki: shhh! its prison break
mum: you shhh!
jacki: im the one thats watching!
mum: no you're not
jacki: yes i am!
mum: why do you even like this show
jacki: wentworth miller
mum: whats wentworth miller?
jacki: (points to screen) thats wentworth miller
mum: (mistaking wentworth for some old guy) what? why?
jacki: no not him
mum: then who?
jacki: ill point when he comes on
mum: ok. so whats happening now?
jacki: cant you just watch?
mum: no
jacki: why?
mum: because i want to annoy you
jacki: when did you become this???
mum: become what?
jacki: become...me!
mum: huh?
jacki: (sees wentworth on the screen and points) there! thats him!
mum: oh i get it
jacki: get what
mum: get why you watch this show (smiling)
jacki: ok im going to pretend you didnt say that
and it basically went on like that for the next 40 minutes, with my mum pointing and/or laughing everytime wentworth miller came onto the screen. so ive come to the conclusion that she is never ever under any circumstance ever allowed to watch prison break with me ever again
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