shower thoughts #1

i was thinking today, i probably do the best thinking i do in the shower
seriously
what better a time is there to think? no place i know
so today in the shower i was thinking about people getting their arms cut off and sewn back on again
and im thinking...what if they totally messed it up and sewed your arms back on the wrong way around?
like, how annoying would that be? You'd have to like stand backwards to pick anything up. And how hard would it be to type? Or write? Or cook dinner?
stay tuned for more totally-relevent-to-your-life shower thoughts!

ok all you crazy ladies out there OHMIGOSH get excited because this blog is back baby
even more back then arnold schwartznegger was that time he came back in terminator
so saddle up your booties because its back and its better than ever and it has a new template

this is the hottest blog right now if it were any hotter i could fry your breakfast on it
today was pretty boring apart from the fact that it was the SECOND BEST DAY OF THE YEAR EVER, WELL SO FAR ANYWAY

so i had modern which TOTALLY ROCKED because it is modern and modern totally rocks, and i was supposed to be writing a diary entry pretending i was part of the Haganah, some Jewish organisation, but i pretty much wrote a letter to miss shanahan saying that we all loved her and lots of other crazy crap and she gave me chocolate and only told me to shut up twice so that was ok
AND we didnt have maths today which was so totally cool.
and miss mitchell chased me down the hallway to tell me happy birthday for tomorrow because she wont be at school and its her birthday too! ohmigosh so cool

and then english was really boring BUT i didnt fall asleep so yay!! first time in the year!!

ohmigosh and so cool i have FOUR parties tomorrow for my birthday WOOHOO yeah party down people

miss shanahan so rocks

torn

so right now im sitting in english trying to decide whether i should
a) use this blog
b) continue on with my space
c) start a new blog all together on a different provider

comments welcome to those who have any ideas on what i should do
so what to do now
apart from stare at the random picture im supposed to be studying
but i only have 8 minutes left of school so really what is the point?
bubs just found a sheet that some random in year eight wrote titled "what does miss everingham want for me this year?"

that little girl is a champion
yes, yes, mrs everingham rocks
and so does mrs sally
they all rock
except some people cough maths teacher cough
ah back to school, and it feels like we were never on holidays
at least this weekend will be good
unless everyone bails
in which case i will put buckets on their heads that are too small to remove but just big enough to allow some air in so they cant even suffocate to remove themselves from their own misery
the day will come my friends
the day will come

holy crap im back

yes my faithful viewers, thats right
you thought id left you forever and ever for the comfortable and lazy ways of msn my space, but low and behold i return because im sick of my space and my old blog looked lonely

by the way, what the hell with those randoms who left those random comments on my last post?
hmm so what to do on my first day back in the land of blogspot
is it even called that anymore?
ive been away for so long
like an old man returning from nam
or vietnam
i dont know which one the war was in
until i blog next...

so much to tell you

wow i havent blogged in ages and ages and i just thought to myself now i have to blog wow lots has happened indeed since i last blogged. stu quit work :( twas a very sad moment indeed. but we had a farewell well, i had a farewell. well, i wrote 'farewell stu love jacki' on the back of a paper bag and stuck it to the bread slicer. mmm but that was a while ago. on a different note, this song i am listening to at the moment makes me feel unloved. alot of things make me feel unloved. ironically enough, im pretty sure that all the things that make me feel unloved are the things that people design to make others feel loved. haha funny that. i laugh at those people and their foolish ways. or perhaps it is only me that feels this way about those things. feel free to comment at any time by the way. Things that make jacki feel unloved A Cinderella Story (the movie) High (song) Beautiful Soul (song) Special Two (song) Home and Away couples like Ric and Cassie, Sally and Flynn, Hayley and Scott etc The OC (seth, summer) The kiss-shaped stamp i keep on my desk Titanic The Kim Possible Movie Heart shaped necklaces This is my world (song) Memories (dont ask) haha and many more. but whatever. im too lazy to think about being loved or not loved. mmm id rather just bum around in my tinkabell pyjamas and watch movies and drink hot chocolate. wot else has happened? oo i bort a new lipgloss w00t that was fun fun fun. we've had netball a few times. ah our little team is so cute even wen they get frustrating and think that they are smarter than us (actually i dont really doubt that on my account). MY HAIR IS SO LONG NOW OH YES. wen the front bit grows a bit more twill be able to be tied up without the assistance of any pins. oh yes yes yes indeed. how weird are noses? my toenail like fell off the other day. twas quite odd indeed, and then i tried to hide it by painting the skin so it just looked like i had painted my nail but it looked quite strange... athetics heats tomoz. wot a bludge. yes indeed. arh i dont want to get back exams. except maths because a) i dont care how i went and b)we take sooooo long to go thru the test last year in the yearly exam we took 3 lessons to go thru the whole thing mwahaha was such a bludge. wow this song is so cute. im not sure wut they are talking about tho ah well i must be off. be sure to comment all you random viewers adios ahora

i love work

work is so much fun on the weekend i got my first visitors!! wow it was so fun booyah those who visited me! booyah indeed hahaha work was so much fun me and stu had like 10 billion wars to see who could poke the other person the most, or 'pokey fights' as we renamed it. pokey fights are the best, even tho i suck at them majorly. stu mopped the floor just before we had one of our pokey fights and i stacked it so badly and this old lady customer like laughed at me. and then i made puppets (one for each of us) and stus puppet ate my puppets face. i love work. its so much fun its like getting paid for doing nothing because stu does everything for me. because im 'Little Girl' i love work! tis so much fun!!

answer me THAT........fool

wow wow wow home and away was so good. on another note, i have compiled a list of questions that i dont know the answer to and im sure that if i list them on my blog, someone smarter than me (beth, krob, lauren, julia, basically our whole school, my cat, EVERYONE) will come answer them for me. ok first of all, im wondering, what is with old men and having hair in EXTREMELY weird places like, um, i dono, their ears???? can you wear glasses if you have no ears? if you like rent a dvd from blockbuster, and then you like get run over by a bus or something and the dvd rental time goes over, do ur relatives have to pay ur late fee for you? do stairs go up or down? why do you always say 'heads up' when you're telling someone to duck? when French people swear, do they go 'pardon my English'? is the opposite of bald 'hairful'? who was the person who first decided to milk a cow? like, seriously? who goes 'hmm, a large hairy animal, i think ill just squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out!' in that song 'she'll be coming round the mountain', who is 'she'? if forks and knives and stuff were made out of gold, would they still be called 'silverware yep... thats about it...

best friday ever

This has officially been the best friday ever
me and krob walked up to the bus stop at the beginning of lunch but we missed the bus (again - we've only been twice in the whole term) so we just bought hot chips and drinks and had a feast, then walked back to school and spent the whole of the last two periods bludging in the library

yes
yes
yes
those people at the childrens place probably hate us now because we never come but oh well because all the babies hate us anyway.

THE BABIES

• JessBaby - this is probably the only baby that likes us; we call it JessBaby because its taller and stronger than all the others. It always does weird stuff like stand on an upsidedown bowl for like 20 minutes.
• DeathstareBaby - this baby hates me and kiera. it has really big eyes and no hair, and kind of looks like an albino. It always gives us the biggest greasy in the world whenever we come near it.
• HugsBaby - this baby loves krob but hates me. It gave kiera a hug, and then i go 'can i have a hug' and it ran away. oh well
• ScreechBaby - this baby always screams at the randomest moments and it really hurts our ears. it hates us.
• ViolentBaby - this baby tries to hurt everyone near it (mostly me) on our last visit to the daycare centre, it slapped me on the face, pulled my hair and threw a ball at me.

well thats most of the babies, there are a few more but they are too random to mention.

too too random.

well the people at the place would probably hate us anyway because we dont play with the babies, we play with their toys

camp

wow everyone can you believe camp is only in like a dillion years? i can but it is still pretty exciting especially AB-CAB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ab-cab is the sexiest thing i have ever heard of (except if someone morphed andrew, orlando bloom, heathy and that really hot guy i saw at the forum together). wow wow wow i love this song (attempts to dance but has to dodge the cat and ends up hanging out the window wearing only a nurses hat and a pair of ugg-boots, ignoring the familiar sounds of 'basketball boy') oh my gosh have i told you about basketball boy? HE IS SO ANNOYING. I think maybe i havent told you about him. well there is this guy who lives on my street (lets just call him Basketball Boy) and every night at like 10.30 he goes out onto the road and starts bouncing a basketball. loudly VERY loudly And so yes, 10.30 isnt that late, but by quarter to 12..... so this one time i got really sick of it, ran to the window, opened it up, stuck my head out, and screamed 'go to bed!!!' and i saw him look up, but he couldnt see anything, so he just looked confused, then walked away down the street, and i was like 'yes i won', and went back to sleep. 15 minutes later... bounce bounce bounce AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Party Of Three

Argh we havent done anything Party Of Three for a dillion years so im going to blog about all the good times we've had. The time we went to Lane Cove pool and Gordo and me got chlorine in our eyes and they were like burning when we were walking around coles afterwoods. The time we had the oc/friends/pizza marathon at gordos house The time we went to have GJs in the forum but it was closed so we had oreos and milk The time julia and gordo like threw me into the water at greenwich baths when i had all my clothes on. The time gordo shouted me and julia hot chocolate at the sitting duck The time we wandered the streets aimlessly for like 4 hours The time we named Party of Three The time we smsed gordo becoz we thought he was too cool for p03 now. The time it became party of one for like 47 seconds The time we used the word 'word' for like a week (word grandma, word) The time we had a fantasy about the three of us working at coles, GJs and oporto The time we argued about who was the hottest on the oc. The time we went under-water wrestling at lane cove pool The time we called it 'BC oval' The time gordo rapped at the village games The time we played guitar at gordos house (well, julia and gordo played, i attempted/failed) and so many more but the oc is on in like 1 second so i must go until next time

ho hum read all you baggies

allalalalala i am so very bored right now so i will tell you about something boring. weeeeeee in my pants it is 9.15 altho it feels like 10.15 i wonder wot i will do today, probably just sit and eat chocolate i got my hair into a ponytail today with the assistance of a billion clips, but still its quite small, and resembles my dogs beard watever i am so screwed, last week we had to hand in so many assesmants that i thought they were all done but now i realise i actually have like another 4 to do actually i just looked in my diary and realise i have one due tomorow woops better go fix that

egg indeed

wow wow wow easter is fun indeed it begins on friday: GOOD FRIDAY We go to the movies: we being me, jessiebear, ceiny, mel, kc, beff, lollen saw the ring 2: it was completely hilarious, i think it was the combination of a terrible plot, crappy special FX and those randoms in front of us that completed it. Of course my prediction of me screaming out in the middle of the movie and everyone looking/pointing/laughing at me came true (8 times to be exact) but it was fun all the same. Then after everyone else left me ceiny and jess stayed at gloria jeans for like another 3 hours just talking and laughing at everyone else in there like that lady who called me a bitch coz i accidentally-on-purpose bumped into her and that other random who was like 'well make up your mind, are these your seats or not?' and ewwwwww that guy next to us with the HUGE face mole which was sprouting, im not kidding the hair was like longer than julias. mmm thats about it EASTER SATURDAY wow today was fun i went to the easter show with isy, madi, sara, em and anne-marie. mmmm yes thats about it EASTER SUNDAY!!!! EASTER!!! yay today twas good i visited my Grandma and she was like 'wwooo you have no braces!' and i was like 'woo it looks like youve had braces becoz you have false teeth' yeh anyway and then we had youth group which was fun we played articulate our team kicked bottom to the max, and played this other random game called mystery of the abbey or summat, and had pizza (yummy) and now i am home home home writing this blog. wow i am so bored, im going to end this blog right NOW

its all in the title

ok beff/mel/whoever else is in the band since you are all finding it SO incredibly hard to come up with your own name, im going to help you (again) here are some SUITABLE band names: Of course we have: Insert Name Here (which i already suggested) But u can also choose from: Mel and the Squares The Haas (dyk) Flashing Neon Lights The Meringues You Dont Spell Jacki With An E no effort involved ClickClackPaddyWhack Barn Door the chinchillas Gemma and Jacki are the lords of the ribbon dance or you could take some other bands name and change it around to make it different. For Example: Good Charlotte becomes Bad Harry (actually this is a combined effort of me and julia) Yellowcard -----Red Envelope The Killers -----The Savers Greenday-------Yellownight Coldplay-------Warmstop Blink 182-----Wink 241 The Used-----The....Fresh? BlackEyedPeas-----RedMouthedBeans The Beatles----The Spiders And so on but of course i think you should either go with Insert Name Here or Mel and the Squares

a new beginning

hmmm time to blog again for no reason really, other than it is 12.17am on a friday and i have nothing else to do. lallalalala i hope all you fans of Jackis Most Embarrasing Moments are ready, because i have several coming up.. but more about life. why, isnt it interesting, do all you people out there remember that day when i got the phonecall declaring my trial shift at bakers? woohoo i have now been working there for almost three months!!!!! and yet i still cant slice the bread very well....funny that its also funny that on the bread slicer you cant see the sign saying 'WARNING, SERATED EDGES MAY CAUSE INJURY' until you have pressed the on button but o well. actually its not the bread slicer which causes me the most grief surprisingly, but the bread rack, when i was taking the garbage down i like tried to roll it over this bump and it tipped over and fell onto my leg. ok, you may be saying/thinking/watever its just a bread rack so wut? ok this bread rack is solid wood and metal and weighs about 7kg on its own, plus the extra wut, about 4kg of bread i was carrying on it? i still have the bruise

braces off wait thats old news

AAAAAH OHMIGAWSH THEY ACTUALLY HIRED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok

ok

ok

this is so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so very very very exciting right now

ok listen closely boys and girls, because today a miracle has occured.

somebody....actually...hired...me....

as in they are going to give me a job!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

ok ok ok ok wait wait wait a second there, ok so they havent exactly hired me yet, but i...they...it....ok, im just going to type out the phone conversation right here

Jacki: Yo

Caroline: Hello, is this jacki?

Jacki: Yes, who is this?

Caroline: This is Caroline from Bakers Delight. I have your job application in front of me, Jacki

Jacki: (doing an excited dance around my room) ok...cool

Caroline:Now I was wondering if you'd like to come in for a trial shift

Jacki: Yes!!! HIRE ME!!!!

Caroline: Haha...well seeing as you are so eager, how about you come in tomorrow? Around four?

Jacki: Ok...we're talking about bakers delight at the forum right? Caroline: Yes... Jacki: Oh kewl, because i tried to get a job at the bakers at lane cove, and they were all like 'uhhhh no' because i couldnt get there by four o clock, and i was all like 'hey, but' and they were all like 'sorry, no can do' and i was all like - Caroline: Why dont you just come by at four. I wont actually be there because im pregnant Jacki: (thinking - uh, i didnt ask for your life story lady, i just want you to give me lots of money so i can get a new phone, ok?) Right... Caroline: So when you go there just ask for Susan, and she'll give you all the instructions. Jacki: (desperately hoping 'Susan' isnt that chick who gave me the application in the first place because im pretty sure she hates me on account of the fact that every time i go there she sees me making faces at the Peach and Pumpkin Scrolls.) Ok, that sounds good. Do I need to know anything else? Caroline: Yes, well, make sure that you arent wearing any jewellery or make-up, and bring some sneakers and white socks, and Mike and Susan will give me a full report blah blah blah Jacki: Yeah, ok well ill be there at four o clock Lady: Ok bye Jacki: Bye WOW WOW WOW it was so exciting and after i hung up i did a victory lap of my bedroom and it was good bloggin off jacki

Welcome bak Jack

wow i cant believe i have resorted to this... ...again ...for the second time... ...since like three months ago... well yes i suppose it is time that i blogged again though i highly doubt that anyone will ever read this so i am just going to RAMBLE LIKE CRAZY BABY!!! (ramble) (ramble) (ramble) yes well enough rambling, thankyou very much, and now on to all the other crap that i usually talk about. Another year of school just begun, yet nothing oh-so-impressive to happen yet, of course there are still the occasional "funniest moments of my life" - Me pointing and screaming out in the middle of assembly on the first day back when i thought I saw Langdale Cuthberts poor attempts to sing in unison during House Music Drama rehersals Me having 'Tourette Like' outburts in Geography when i was unable to pronounce the word standards. Pictures of women (or were they men? - one had a very suggestive bulge) wearing spandex on the centrefold of a National Geographic magazine discovered in geo When me and Sarah found pictures of our year nine maths class on the wall in D 04 - possible Maths Teacher Slash Stalkers theory Kat having Hitler as an idol (quote jacki: Is hitler dead?) My and Mels ultimate dispair as we discovered that practicly everyone except for us has a job (thanks ALOT careers) and that they all got them easily. whatever About jobs though....lets review...............Last year in like the last month of school i was like ok i am so getting a job right now First I tried Coles/Myer by filling out the online application - I never got a reply Second I tried Bakers Delight in the forum - they said no Third I tried Bakers Delight in lane cove - they said no (at this point i decided that bakers delight must be the ultimate evil) Fourth I tried arisocrat in lane cove - they said no Fifth I tried this random lil cafe in the village - they never called back Sixth I tried Baskin and Robins - they said no Seventh I tried Coles - they sent me an interview which i missed becoz i was away, so i asked them for another one and they ignored me Eighth - sadly i went back to bakers delight in the forum out of my dispair (this was only today by the way) and they gave me and jess both applications and because of course we are THE most desirable people to hire on the planet im sure we'll both get the job, and then we'll be able to participate in many enjoyable activties such as: Putting our shifts in sync Throwing bread at the mean customers Being suggestive to the hot customers (do you want a finger bun?) Plugging a stereo into the powerpoint in the bakery and turning the bakers delight theme song up full blast, then forcing them to behave like they do in the ad. Stealing pull-aparts Wearing the uniform wrong in an attempt to make it stylish Pretending to be Michael Jackson Pinning our name badges to our school blazers Jumping into the forum water fountain when our shift is over Dancing around the customer service area and playing air guitars on the counter tops Wiring disco balls to the bread racks Giving people free food Eating when the manager isnt looking Giving EVERYBODY jobs Running over to oporto in our break to see mike and get free chips REALLY running up to the hospital in our break to see julia and get free coffee and many more well im off to dinner m'hearties (sorry, still in pirate mode) jacki

This is Nala hiding from Oscar in my pantry

Nala again again again

Nala again again

Nala again

Nala my kitten

aaaaah good times

Mmmm holidays are oh-so-fun

today was yeehaa (this is my new word for fun) me, ali and krobi went to westfield and bummed around, gemma was going to come but she bailed after ringing up on alecambuls foneyfonefone and asking me why i wasnt at gym coz i SO cood not be bothered to go

so anywayz, then we went to targey and had sum lollies and found the COOLEST CARD IN THE WORLD which was one of those ones that sings when you open it
so it was for Congratulations You've Had A Baby Boy, and yes yes guess what? when you open it it sings (in the coolest voice):
"Isnt it lovely? Isnt it wonderful? Isnt it lovely? Isnt it wonderful?"
AND if that isnt xciting enough for you, THEN we went and tried on all the cool shoes, and then we ran away from krob coz she was chasing us with the crazy card

so when we ran away we ended up in this place with all the bikes n stuff and a SWINGING CHAIR which we swinged on YES YES YES aaaand then we played with some bouncy balls and then i rode this random bike, and then we found some skateboards and rode up and down target in them

so then we had to go toily, so we went toily and then bought some food and then bought an icecream and then went to the chase and looked in TightRope

AND THIS IS THE MOST XCITING BIT SO LISTEN UP UP UP!!!!
so then we went to Kmart just to look around and WE FOUND THE DVD OF ONCE UPON A FOREST WHICH IS THE BEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD ONLY LIKE NO ONE HAS HEARD OF IT AND ME ALI AND KIERA ALL SAW IT WHEN WE WERE LITTLE AND WE LOVE IT SO SO SO MUCH!!!

and then we found these TOTALLY cool slippers and krob got some purple ones and i got some pink ones and ali is going to get some white ones, and then we r going to swap one each so we have different coloured ones, AND then we r going to have the ONCE UPON A FOREST DVD PARTY and wear them!!!

so then Krob had to go, so me and ali went back to target and played with the card again and then played the car-seat game where you sit in the BabyCarSeat and fall backwards and then this lady came and yelled at us

AND THAT IS THE END OF MY DAY i think it has been the best day so far in my holidays it was so totally yeehaa

mmmmmm, steak

yes yes yes
blogs are so weird

ahahaha

I just discovered the coolest phrase in the world
maybe even better than Gristle
ok ok ok

ahahhaha
ahahahhahahahha
ahahahahahhahahahha
i cant stop laughing

buttock-cranium
aahhahaha
ahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahhaa

get it?
ahahahaha

its like butt-skull, except BETTER

ahahahahahhaha

AS you may have heard on a recent blog of mine, my ears have yet again become subject to a phrase which they do not understand...

which is completely NOT uncommon, but i dont care

poooooooooooooooooo and weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
ahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah toiily toily toiyly toitrehksdHfkljsagfl iuSGDFVLSGDFILUsfedlgsdfkjsgfiuWEGF DUHFKShdf

eh hem, now back to what i was saying...

when we were at the beach, i put sunblock on AND then i realised that my shouldies were looking a little, hmmm, sunkissed shall we say?

and julia noticed as well
so julia goes 'my gollygollygoodness, your shouldies are looking a little roasteeded'
and so i goes 'butty, iven putten thine sunblocken onnen!'
and so julia goes 'oh my. thine sunblocken only workens iffy you put somethingy on over ity, youen silly pork!'

ok

WHAT!!! WHY DIDNT ANYONE TELL ME THIS?! STUPID SUNBLOCK!! HERES ME THINKING I CAN PUT SUNBLOCK ON AND BE PROTECTED FROM THE HARSHY RAYS OF THE SUN, BUT OOOOOOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT TURNS OUT THE SUNBLOCK HAS TO GO AND MAKE ITSELF NOT WORK UNLESS YOU PUT SOMETHING OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

which completely defeats the purpose if you ask me

so anyway, i didnt hear this from SunblockSam (aka Julia) until AFTER i had been lying in the warmy sun sun sun, so now my entire back is burnt, while my front is not

AND i have those annoying 'strap marks' LaurenLaurenLauren was talking about

has anyone seen that episode of friends when ross tries to get a fake tan and he accidentally gets FakeTanSprayed eight times, all on the front??

chichichi CHA

Wow

wow

wow

I am sunburnt
ahaha well it was bound to happen EVEN THOUGH I PUT SUNBLOCK ON

i am so confused
Julia said to me at the beach 'sunblock doesnt help'
i says to julia i says 'then why did i put it on?'
she says 'it only works if you put it on and then put something on over it...

WHAT???!!!!!

im going to make something of this

Gristle is the coolest word in the world

ive invented a word people!!!!

ok ok ok ok ok so u know the word kankle? how its like when the bottom-leggy-bit just goes straight into the foot? well i noticed that this can also happen with the bottom-army-bit, and it just goes straight into the hand...

so, based on the word kankle, i have invented another word for this 'body part'

well, the last bit of kankle is 'ankle' which is the bit that is missing, so the last part of my word has to be 'wrist'...

but where do i get the first letter from? i dont know where the 'k' in kankle comes from...

DAMMIT ITS SO CONFUSING!!!
um um um
um
um um

so, well i guess i should get a group of all the letter that you can put in front of the word wrist without it sounding completely retarded

wait, maybe i want it to sound retarded, i mean kankle sounds pretty retarded...

NO!!! SHUT UP BRAIN!!!
ok lets see....
a, yes that works
e
g

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i so cant be bothered to do this, ok im going to choose a letter from random

how aaaaabbbboooouuuuuttttt....................g?
ok gggggggggggg yes yes yes that is indeedy coollieo

gwrist....mmm that doesnt look gross enough....

grist....mmmm

gristle...PERFECT!!!

ok ok ok gristle is the new word for when your bottom-army-bit just goes straight into your hand


GRISTLE

read me

I have just come across some important and interesting translations
im sure they will come in handy

eu acredito que você tem molhado seus pantaloons - I believe you have wet your pantaloons(portuguese)

Tamagotchis oscilará siempre nuestros mundos!!! - Tamagotchis will always rock our worlds!!!(spanish)

Κανένα μέλι, εσείς poo στην τουαλέτα - No honey, you poo in the toilet (greek)

genera l'asino!!! - Mothers ass!!! (italian)

Aaah, этот соус фасоли шевелит в моих кишечниках - Aaah, this beans sauce is stirring in my bowels (russian)

Bitte setzen Sie nicht Ihren Kleberstock innen dort - Please do not put your glue stick in there (german)

You're un sac de merde - You're a bag of crap (french)

googookachoo

i am a HappyCamper
even tho i havent been doing any camping...thats not the point


actually i dont think i have a point

haha, oh wait, i never have a point

holidays are oh-so-fun
yes yes yes today i went to greet the Noumeans on their arrival

they all looked relatively sane, though the prospect of seeing me after a three hour plane trip seemed to bring a frightened look to some peoples faces

funny how that keeps happening


i am getting my cat tomorrow aalalalalalalalalala be excited for me

cookamunga

Yuk

I am so totally scarred for life

In history we are watchin this random old movie we have watched it over two lessons ok so here is what happened in LESSON NUMBER ONE:

missmunday: hey hey girls we are watchin a video today.
jacki: is it boring?
julia: whats the movie miss munday?
missmunday: view from a window, it is a spectacular entertainment factor girls, you will love it
(the movie begins)
jacki: (yawn) jess can i play with your watch?
jess: (shakes head)
(in the movie there is a character played by maggie smith and she comes onto the screen)
jacki: (screaming) oh mi gosh, its professor magonagal!!!!
missmunday: quiet jacki
juliaandjess: shh its maggie smith she is a wonderful actress
jacki: she has less wrinkles in this movie than harry potter
missmunday: quiet jacki
jess: dont make fun of her she is really good
jacki: i was only commenting
missmunday: quiet jacki
(later in the movie this guy kisses this girl)
jacki: (laughing) ha! hes like raping her
julia: (gives me dissaproving look)
missmunday: quiet jacki

yes well it pretty much continued like that until TODAY when my eyes were soiled because of the

HARD CORE NUDITY scenes in the movie (i bet missmunday just put them in there to scar me)
there was three old men running around naked, slapping each others bottoms (JULIA I AM SO NOT EXAGGERATING I DONT CARE THIS IS WHAT I SAW IF YOU DIDNT SEE IT YOU MUST JUST HAVE EYE FILTERS) and you saw everything

i think i need to go throw up now just the thought of it makes me shudder

(shudder)

(shudder)

(shudder)

so not

Ok, so apparently our group is falling apart

I so do not see this

is it that:

A) I am just so unco in the social world of bitching and fights that our group is basically hanging by a thread and i didnt even notice any changes, as I was laughing the whole time and agrivating everyone so much because they thought i was so stupid not to notice, thus my forcing the group into even worse circumstances, without even realising it?

or

B) Our group is fine just a few people have, what do you people call it? oh yes, PNS or whatever, and arent exactly best friends at the moment, and so you all just made it up so you would have something to talk about without telling me, which of course got all of you a good laugh, but just left me in utter confusion?

BY THE WAY i so do not have a problem with people not telling me stuf, i mean if i was you i sure as hell wouldnt i mean, come on, its me we're talking about


meanwhile, i need to do a weewee

ciao

tony tooth

ARRRRRGGGHHH THERE IS SOMETHING STUCK IN MY BRACES AND I CANT GET IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(IM NOT EVEN SURE IT IS FOOD)

who wants to come help me get it out? ;)

my sister is being a butt-face

So im sitting here doing nothing, reading peoples blogs, whatever

when i realise i have this totally huge geography test tomorrow with Stoner, who already totally hates me (i have no idea why, my being a totally angelic angel and all) and who is going to hate me even more if i bomb out on this test

which I, quite conveniently have forgotten about until the last minute (this seems to happen alot).

So I look at my option thoughts.

So my first option thoughts are: just study tonight, cram, and it will all be ok

So my second option thoughts are: what am i TALKING about????!!! THERES NO WAY I CAN DO WELL IN THIS TEST NOW, OH BOTTOM BOTTOM BOTTOM

So my third option thoughts are: geo test tommorrow eh??.......meh

can you guess which one i picked?

















(the third ones, duh)

Weird Words#3 - extraordinary

Ok, can I just say something about the word extraordinary?

ITS TOTALLY RETARDED!!!!
so heres the meaning:
Extraordinary: 1) beyond what is ordinary or usual
2) highly exeptional, remarkable

The first thing I noticed about the word was that you can divide it into two other words: Extra and Ordinary.

So, we all know that if something is Extra something, it is like especially that thing...like, if someone was Extra Annoying, then they are especially annoying, compared to everyone else...

get it?
and ordinary, is like, plain, boring, usual, common, whatever right??

so if something is extra-ordinary then that must mean it is especially plain, boring, usual and common, right???

SO WHY IS SOMETHING THAT IS EXTRAORDINARY SOMETHING THAT IS REMARKABLE, HIGHLY EXEPTIONAL, BEYOND WHAT IS ORDINARY, YADDA YADDA YADDA????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DIDNT ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THIS???? I FEEL LIKE IM GOING CRAZY HERE!!!!!!!




oh, wait....thats normal


carry on

This is what happened when I attempted to cook for my D of E skill (shudder)

The CheddarPops album cover

Gym Junkie

Gym is oh-so-fun these days
the most recent one went like this:

I walked down to the hall with Jessie-Bear, and then she realised she didnt have rowing, so she like, dissapeared off into the distance or something, and then i found Tegan, and we went looking for Anna, but we only got as far as the Clock Tower Thingy and i fell over (this happens alot)

And so then I just lay down on the ground, and Tegan was all 'lets go find anna' and i said id only go if she gave me a piggy-back, and well that wasnt going to happen, and then Suprise Suprise, out of nowhere comes Jess.

so me and tegan are sitting on the ground (well, Tegan was sitting, i was kind of in a demented jumbled heap) and then anna comes out and says she is too tired to go to gym, and she is going to call her mum to go home. and me and tegan are like NO and jess is like, Im Going Home, and we're like wateva, and then to stop anna leaving me and tegan tried to steal her bag and string it thru one of the basketball hoops, and we got the stealing part down, trouble is neither of us was tall enough to reach the basketball hoop.

So then Anna comes onto the basket ball hoop and she took her bag back and showed us some of the cabbage stuff she made in science (puke) and then she rang her mum and said she was going home.

so then we went and sat on the lawn, and that cat came across the road (you know the fat one that the librarian kicked)
and me and anna were like tegan go get the cat and tegans like no and where like go and shes like ok and so she goes and starts patting the Scary Cat.

so then tegans friend comes over and says the cats name is oscar
and then she left, and i went over to pat the cat with tegan, and we were laughing because its back like, throbbed every time we patted it (try it youll see) and then i realised, how could a boy cat be pregnant? because oscar is a boys name.

so then it was time for gym, and we said goodbye to anna and went inside

by this time me and tegan were on a full high, so we got these blue ribbon things, and tied them around ourselves, and gave one to Little Jackie and yelled out GO BLUE TEAM until ann screamed at us to take them off.

and walley was being The Gym Natzi, so she made us do all this excersise, so me and tegan just did it REALLY slowly (by this time, i was the only remaining member of the blue team)
and then we decided to make
A FAMILY TREE!!!!!!!

I was Tegans mother, and Little Jackie was Tegans father, and walley was my mother, and tegan was married to walley
even though it was slightly wrong, it was totally fun and i couldnt stop laughing (nothing weird there) and then started telling all these lame jokes, which i thought were extremely funny, but no one else did (nothing weird there either)

then it was time to make up the floor routine for the SPECIAL PRESENTATION NIGHT!!! yes thats right, and the music is from the lion king and we all have to pretend to be hyenas
and we have to do the same thing on beam

it is very scary
anyway, so then ann came over and commented that i was being weird, and walleys like, weirder than what? and that made me have another laughing fit, and then ann gave me this disgusted look, and i was like WHATEVER and then walleys like, do something so i walked away and tried to look all proffessional and then I tripped over the floor

how embarrasment

go go go go go go go

I just found the best site in the entire universe

Wee.com

totally excellent, i reccomend a visit

Secret Identities (cough COUGH miss munday)

OH MY GOSH
i have just discovered something very important
get ready

MISS
MUNDAY
HAS
THE
SAME
STICKY TAPE
DISPENSER
AS
ME!

yes, I know. true, but very disturbing. this could mean that miss munday and i are...dare i say it?

related?
i mean, could she be like, my secret uncle or something?
mmm, lets see

Uncle Miss Munday...that has a nice ring to it.

but shhhh because she might not want anyone to know she is related to me



its a growing problem

School You-Knee-Form

Just reading beths blog now and the argument about school uniform
first of all, we must solve jess's problem
second of all, i shouldnt have written first of all, because thats all im going to do.

BUT ANYWAY
jess, with the hole sox thing..is it that you actually think people who wear their sox up r (giggle) dare i say it..(giggle) SLUTS or r u just embarrased because of the name label your mum sewed onto the top of your socks (if that was the case, i think i just made it around 76 times worse...sorry giggle giggle)

BECAUSE if you are just embarrased about the whole label thing, i have devised a plan

all you have to do is get some money, and buy some socks and smuggle them into your house, hide them in the back of your draw, then put them on in the morning...this is how it will go

Jess: (walks out in Operation One Special Socks) Hello dearest mother
Mrs Jess's Mum: Hello dearest daughter. How be you this sparkling morn?
Jess: I am well, dearest mother...
Mrs Jess's Mum: I am joyous to hear of that. Now off to schoolio within yine
Jess: Of course, dearest mother...

(JESS WALKS OUT THE DOOR IN HER BRAND NEW NON-LABELED SOCKS, WHICH ARE PULLED UP)

of course, if it doesnt work, there may be consequences....

Jess: (walks out in Operation One Special Socks) Hi mum
Mrs Jess's Mum: (narrowing eyes) JESSICA ANN MORTON...are those your usual socks?
Jess: (sweating nervously) um...
Mrs Jess's Mum: GIVE ME THOSE (tears the socks off jess's feet, then runs into her bedroom and finds all the other socks, and stuffs them into the fire place, then turns around to stab jess with a lamb fork, but fortunately, Bates runs through the door and rescues his Fair Maiden)

Now, Jess, im not saying the bad one will be exactly like this.....



i mean, Bates might not come

...

It really is extrodinary how many teachers i managed to piss off each day

i bet they're just jelous of my rugged good looks






or not, i guess

Lorrie and the CheddarPops

As usual, me Krob and Lorry had to find some way to survive science today....

SO WE MADE A TOTALLY KIK-IN-THE-BOTTOM BAND BABY YEH!!
it started with me and krob singing, then lorry joined our somewhat not harmonising harmony, and thats when it all began...
THE PHENOMONON THAT IS....LORRIE AND THE CHEDDARPOPS

ok so at first Julia was our band manager, but she has some weirdo erotical obsession (jj) with the triangle, and we were like oh hell no, and now hermi is our manager

and first it was andre boccelli and the losers
then jacki and the losers
then lorri and the iams
then lorri and the ifeyes

AND NOW WE HAVE OUR NAME

so then we started to sing timeless classics, such as Catch a Falling Star, and Cheer Up Charlie, and we got all these pissed-off glances from like everyone else in the room

LAUREN AND JULIA IN PARTICULAR
but thats prob just coz they wanna be in our band so bad (LOL)

and yes yes yes that is my amazing story

zuccini

So the day goes something like this:

Maths: Classroom full of students + mrs wilsons enourmous hair = smothered children


Science: pembos quiz suggestion + half of us running out the back door = pembo explodes


Civics: Beth + Jacki = Huge gets pissed

Geography: stoner + jacki hasnt done her homework for basically a semester = violent murder

drama: not bad

english: lord of the flies???? u get the picture

Suzie Highpants

I just realised i forgot to talk about Suzie Highpants

let me explain...

when we were at the gym comp, and we were waiting for vault, i looked over to floor, and there she was...suzie highpants
bom bom booooom
this girl with really long hair was practicly defying gravity with her bike pants.
As Spud said....
"whats the point in wearing pants if your gonna have them up that high?!"

But, if thats the way suzie wants to wear her pants, THEN THAT IS HOW SHE SHALL WEAR THY PANTALOONS, NOW DAMN IT!!!

shake it suzie...shake it like a polaroid picture

(who is wearing its pants up REALLY high)

poo and wee

well well well
friday was completely weird, i had so much stuff in my bag that i coodnt possibly fit any more in, so now i have all this homework due tomoz that i cant do but i dont really care, my teachers can just DEAL WITH IT
i am in a very weird mood today i woke up at 6 and had calamari YES CALAMARI PEOPLE OH YES YES YES AND IT WAS OH SO GOOD
i was reading beths blog just now and laughing about her comments on laura
oh so amusing, yes yes yes it is true i think laura hates us, but i really dont mind because i like the colour of her nail polish

ahaha the gym comp was totally hilarious, walley was judging me on beam, and after i dismounted i did The Crazy Dance instead of presenting, and she got all pissy. aah walley looks so funny when she is pissy, and i started laughing which made her even more pissy, which looked even more funny, which made me laugh more, which made her even more pissy - i think you get the picture

then, on my second vault i did a front sumi instead of a handspring flat back and couldnt stop laughing it was very hilarious
but i totally blame this on st catherines since they dont have a vault mat, so u have to run on the floor, and it like jarrs your ankles, so i am going to go back there in the night and cut up their floor with an axe, just to prove

THEY CANT BRING ME DOWN DAMN IT!!!

Daily Brain Teaster

Today's Daily Brain Teaser

Cannibal here I come

I've just had a thought...
Maybe this is just me, but I find it extremely amusing to make jokes about things that arent really funny at all.

Like cannabalism (is that how you spell it?)
I just find that whole thing really amusing...and im sure you will to after you have read my SUPER HILARIOUS EXTREMELY AMUSING JOKES ABOUT THINGS THAT ARENT FUNNY...IN THIS CASE CANNABALISM!!!! (is that how you spell it?)

Ok, so there was a family of cannibals, a mum, a dad and two sons. One day, the sons and the dad go hunting, and they find the most beautiful woman in the world. The dad says to his sons 'come on, lets catch her' and the sons say 'no dad, we cant eat her, she is the most beautiful woman in the world'. The dad gives his sons a funny look and says, no sons, we're not going to eat her, we're going to take her home and eat your mother.

AHHAHAHAHAH i dont really get this joke, i just think the whole we're-going-to-eat-your-mother thing is amusing.

What does a cannibal call a phone book? A MENU!!!
BA-DOOM-CHA!!!!


and if your not laughing at these, then i suggest you take a train-trip to one of the other blog-links i have on my blog, as these are much more MATURE and you would probably benefit from them more.


I dont care, ill just stay here and laugh by myself.

Julias Testimony

Hey Krobi-Poo
Julia says Lauren stole the trangie thing

BTW can someone plz help me i dont know how to say that word
Is is trannia?
Trangia?
Terangia?
Tarantula?
Tanagula?
Terrannia?
Tarangila?

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP OTHERWISE THE CONSEQUENCES COULD BE FATAL!!!!!

Who the hell are you??

I've just had a thought...
sometimes, there might be people coming onto my blog who dont know who (or what) I am...

and I cant really say I know myself, but I CAN type down everything I do know.


JACKI (me)
Jacki is crazy
Jacki like lots of things that no one else likes
Jacki will never grow up
Jacki laughs almost as much as she talks
Jacki makes lame jokes
Jacki copies other peoples good jokes
Jacki has E.I.S (Extreme Immature Syndrome)
Jacki is weird
Jacki tries to make people laugh all the time, and her jokes are so lame and she starts to laugh at herself and then people laugh, not at her joke, but at her
Jacki has to make everything into a joke before she can understand it
Jacki is being left behind in a 'childs world' according to beth, but she doesnt care
Jacki isnt very smart because she spends all her time laughing
Jacki has a large mouth because she spends all her time laughing
Jacki laughs at things that are funny
Jacki laughs at things that arent funny
Jacki is laughing right now
Jacki is confused by serious matters
Jacki gets left behind because everyone else is growing up
Jacki loves food
Jacki loves sitting next to Mel in Maths and playing with Beryl
Jacki loves sitting with Lauren in Science and asking her the answers
Jacki loves sitting with Beth in CCG and laughing at Huge
Jacki loves sitting with Sarah in English and complaining about Lord of the Flies
Jacki loves sitting with Hannah in CCH and laughing at Mitchy
Jacki loves sitting with Kiera in PD and annoying Kiera with her giggling
Jacki loves sitting with Julia in CS and sharing her Bible
Jacki loves sitting with Jess in History and distracting her
Jacki loves sitting with Gemma at recess
Jacki loves sitting with kc ANYTIME HA KC I COMMENTED ABOUT YOU
Jacki loves sitting with Sarah, Bubs and Anna at lunch when everyone else leaves.
JACKI IS CRAZY AND IMMATURE AND STUPID AND RANDOM AND MAKES A FOOL OF HERSELF BUT DOESNT CARE AND IS GOING TO RUN AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER NOW TO GET MORE ICECREAM.


well I hope that made you less confused



It made me more confused

oh well

Friendly Frank

I just noticed that like EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD (actually only two people) have been doing this thing on their blog where they talk about all their friends...AND I CANT BE BOTHERED TO.

The battle for bread

When I got out of the shower, i went downstairs to see wat my mum was cooking for dinner, and there were bread roles on the table YES PEOPLE THATS RIGHT, THATS RIGHT, BREAD ROLES, YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!!! anyway, they were all the same, except this one that looked really good, like better than all the others. and im like, i bags that one, and wait, get this, my dad is like, no thats my bread role. AND SO IT IS, MY DAD AND I MUST BATTLE TO THE DEATH FOR OWNERSHIP OF THE BREAD ROLE...JUST LIKE ORLANDO BLOOM AND THAT RANDOM UGLY GUY FIGHT FOR OWNERSHIP OF HELEN IN THE MOVIE TROY... anyway, so cathe decided that she would be like a quiz-master person, and ask questions, and first one to five points wins... QUESTION ONE: what time is it? Dad: 6:05 (wrong) Jacki: 5:51 (right) QUESTION TWO: what is Grandma's safety program called? Dad: Safety Program (wrong) Jacki: Something Spot? (wrong) QUESTION THREE: what is on the back of the nutrigrain box? Dad: Pictures of nutrigran (wrong) Jacki: Pictures of sports people and like random words (half a point) QUESTION THREE: how many pictures are on top of the piano? Dad: five (wrong) Jacki: seven (right) QUESTION FOUR: what colours are the small kitchen tiles around the stove? Dad: rainbow (wrong) Jacki: orange, purple, yellow, turqoise (right) QUESTION FIVE: what vegetables are we having for dinner? Dad: corn...and, uh...(wrong) Jacki: snowpeas, beans and carrots (right) QUESTION SIX: how far did Jacki walk in total this weekend? Dad: 21.5 km (wrong) Jacki: 20.2 km (right) so yes yes yes, i got the bread role so haha dad i enjoyed it very much thankyou.

THAT DAMN RAVINE!!!!

OMIGOSH like we just got back from DofE i am completely DEAD i so dont think i am going to be able to compete on friday coz i have these completely MONSTROUS blisters on my feet, and i cant walk so i have to crawl everywhere, and although degrading for me, i can see how this is hilarious for the rest of my family... I guess it was kind of fun, despite the excercise, how wet it was, my only having one jumper, the blisters, the high mountains, everyone like killing themselves in that ravine, the mornings, my crappy dinner, mum like packing me 12 kgs of food alone, the smell of the toilets drifting downwind to our tent, our frost-bitten fingers, julias dehydration, the dissapearance of our super-shiny TranniaThingy, the missing pot, the crankiness, the cold, the heat, the rain, us turning into a tribe of savages and the whole not-having-a-mat-and-so-having-to-use-a-garbage-bag-instead thing.

Besides, the ppl hu didnt go are so totally NOT IN on the in-jokes, like how i am Simon ahahahahahaha

....wait i just had a thought...

that jokes really on me isnt it???

damn.

Its a cows eye

Hey i just heard that maybe we are dissecting an eye today or tommorrow in science
i have always lived doing that, ever since me and krob chased ali around with a mutilated chicken wing in year seven....



ahhhhh the memories are fond.

coolness and intuition

Ok, i was just reading Beths blog now and i noticed that she said she and mel left the bin game due to their coolness and intuition
which is all well and good, but
ISNT ANYONE GOING TO STAY IMMATURE WITH ME?
i mean, seriously...





its alot more fun

Im stuck in this old era

I just noticed that everyone seems to change except me....
My school friends have changed so much...actually i also just noticed how different my roseville friends are from my greenwich friends...like in yr 6 they were all like me, but now they are...
MATURE which of course is the complete opposite of me, and im getting left behind.
like when lexi brought lucy to our netball game this year, i hadnt seen her for ages, and so i was talking to her, and she said ohmigosh your still exactly the same.
which i guess i am...i still like to do all the stuff that they think is immature.


woah that is way to complicated for me...i think ill just stay the same thankyou very much.


besides, how are you supposed to have embarrasing moments if you spend all your time trying to look and act mature?

I hate stockings

I am really annoyed right now because i cant seem to get the colour of stockings right!
First I had nice normal grey ones right? Then after one wash they went all beige and stripey.
So then i bought some new ones, which turned out to be pink. Then i had purple. Then i had brown, and now i have a cross between like black and a chocolatey colour.
Oh well, in like a week and two days there will be no more stockings for meeeeeeeeeee....




well at least until next year

inspired by mel

Ok so i was just reading mels blog, and she did this thing on all her friends, and i decided to do something similar, except not really, i am just going to do my favourite foods.

frozen peas - ok now i know some of you will agree with me on this (like hannah) and yes yes yes it is totally yummy and NOT gross i mean, come on the only difference between this and normal peas is, normal peas have been in some water

frozen chips - not many people i know do this, but still, it is still yum, except they are kind of hard to swallow

spaghetti - who doesnt like this?

non-cooked maggie noodles - yes, i do know alot of people who do like this, but also alot of people who dont.

xplogos - THESE ARE POSSIBLY THE MOST YUMMIEST THINGS YOU CAN EAT OUT OF A TUB

calamari - ohhhhh yeh

tomato sauce - this is good by itself, and also on bread

YES YES YES SO DONT DELAY IN TRYING THESE FOR YOURSELF
though i doubt you will because most of them sound completely weird like me

Lay off spongy beff

Hey Beff, i just read your blog and NO WAY IS SPONGEBOB LAME
its is so not a sad show and i can totally relate to spongbob, since i live under the sea in a a pineapple house and my best friends are a mentally challenged pink starfish wearing board shorts and a grumpy squid-man with 8 legs.